At each moment of the day, you make a decision, whether you realize it or not. It’s the result of your attitude towards life. And whatever it is—positive or negative—it affects all the events, people, relationships, and basically whatever it is that you encounter in your life.
So, if you’re living a complicated life with so many things to do and no time for yourself, it’s your fault.
If you have exactly what you’ve wanted and are thankful for it every day, you’re the one to blame.
If you’re surrounded by negative people, have a job you hate and can’t even sleep at night because of the many thoughts that pop up in your head constantly, no one else is responsible for that but you.
If you’re doing what you love, work hard but still find time for yourself and those you love, it’s due to a choice you’ve made at some point.
But there’s good news. Whatever your situation is, you can change it.
Happiness is absolutely possible at any time, it’s free, doesn’t depend on age, looks, career or income. Everyone deserves it and it doesn’t need to be found, reached, created, or anything else that requires effort.
Here is the happiness formula:
Letting Go + Acceptance + Gratitude
Call them skills, processes, qualities, goals, or else. They don’t really need to be defined. But these are three of the best things you can do with your life—let go of what was and will be, accept what is and be okay with it, thank for it and appreciate it.
That will make you the happy, contented person you’ve always wanted to become. You’ll find peace, will free yourself from the burden of the past and anxiety of the future, will start living in the present moment and will see all the beauty and abundance in your life by focusing on what you have and being grateful for it.
Now let’s discuss each element of the happiness formula separately.
At this moment tens of thousands of people are lonely. Some regret what they did or didn’t do yesterday, while others hope that tomorrow is going to be better.
At this moment innocent people die in accidents, others get robbed.
Right now someone somewhere is crying, while someone else a few kilometers away is laughing.
A woman gives birth to a child and at this same moment a child says a final goodbye to his parent.
Some go to bed, others wake up.
Many people are falling in love, meeting someone new, feeling insecure or having doubts. Many more others are sleeping and dreaming right now, or just watching TV or browsing the Internet.
Some are writing, others are reading.
And what’s the only thing they have in common?
The present moment.
There is nothing that powerful, with so many opportunities, that can change a life in a matter of seconds, so fleeting and yet with a lifetime of consequences, like the present moment.
The power of now is unbelievable. And the best thing is that it’s given to you and you decide what to do with it.
Why do we take it for granted then, never make the best of it and then regret that?
Maybe because we have so many of these little gifts, literally millions.
But often, in the end, we realize we never made even one of them count. And that means our life remains unlived. This is so sad.
I’m here to tell you that you can change the course of your life right now.
By catching this brief moment and making it last forever.
By experiencing it, being aware of it and appreciating it. By being right here, right now, and realizing it’s the best place to be and you don’t need anything else.
Now is where you’re supposed to be and thinking about the past or future prevents you from living this moment, which is the only thing you truly have. And if you can’t live this one, you’ll miss out on many more. And having in mind that life is made of moments like that, you don’t live at all.
But if you take control and focus on your current activity, on the people around you, on how you feel right now, if you look around and breathe deeply, you might just feel like the happiest person in the world.
And no one is able to take that from you. Because this moment is your present.
This moment is yours.
Lately I’ve been spending my days thinking and writing about that, practicing mindfulness, appreciating the now and letting go of past and future, realizing the importance and power of this moment.
And I’ll be publishing a book on the subject. In a month or two.
I think we can all benefit from a reading like that.
Its purpose is to remind you of the beauty around and that everything that’s going on is nowhere else but in the present moment. That you need to fall in love with it, pay attention to it and truly experience it. That it’s the only place where you can find the peace and happiness you’ve always been looking for.
Some time ago I realized something really important. Simple, and yet so powerful, that it completely changed the way I see things.
I understood that I am responsible for everything in my life. That in each moment I choose whether to be happy or not. And that with every decision of mine I can change the outcome.
The thing is, the happy, simple and stress-free life we’re all wishing for is out there, waiting for us to start living it.
Here are some things I’m working on that can help anyone be more satisfied, live freely and easily, reach peace and feel joy.
You’ll find most of the statements too obvious as it’s stuff we should all be doing. But the truth is that we’re not doing it no matter how easy it is.
Instead, we’ve decided to complicate our lives and stick to that.
But I don’t need to follow the crowd. I choose to be happy. You can too.
Here they are:
When people don’t like you, accept it. There’s nothing you can do. And whoever you become, there will always be someone to disapprove and disagree. As long as you’re okay with yourself and have people who support you, you’re alright.
If you like someone, tell him. Even if he doesn’t like you, you don’t lose anything.
The future is uncertain. Stop trying to predict it.
Whatever has happened, learn from it and move on. There’s no place for your past in your present.
If you make a mistake, don’t feel bad, lose hope or analyze it too much. Now you know what not to do and can try again. All successful people have been there.
If you don’t like something, get rid of it.
If you don’t like your job, quit and find something else.
If you’re in doubt, just choose one of the options and try to make the best of it. Whatever happens, you’ll know you’ve tried.
Stop comparing yourself and your life to those of others. It makes you feel awful and is never true as everyone is at a different level, dealing with different stuff and nothing is as it seems.
If you want something, now is the right time to do it.
You don’t need others to believe in yourself, actually you don’t need any help. All you have to do is see yourself for the amazing being you are with all those abilities, powers and potential you have. And do something about it.
The only thing that matters is the present moment. Enjoy it, or you’re missing out on what’s important.
If you find someone special, try to make things work out.
Don’t pretend to be someone else. It makes things too hard and never ends good. Embrace who you are and appreciate yourself.
Choose to focus on the things you have. The rest will fall into place.
You don’t need to change things. They are perfect just the way they are.
If you want to cry, let your feelings out.
If someone doesn’t appreciate you, take it as a sign from the universe that you shouldn’t waste any time on him.
Better things are coming.
The right person is out there.
If you think about something every day, don’t give up on it. It’s worth it.
There’s always an easier, simpler and faster way to do what you want to do. Find it.
Wake up and thank for the day. That will make you appreciate it more and start it with a smile.
Instead of trying to guess what someone else thinks of you, what his plans are or else, just ask him.
If you don’t like the book you’ve just started, leave it. Life is too short for bad books.
Don’t try to change people. Accept them as they are.
Living life is easy. Thinking about it too much makes it hard, though.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your accomplishments.
Divide your big goals into tiny steps. And start acting on them now.
These are just some of the things we should start or stop doing that will transform our lives.
There are many more.
But once you get used to choosing less over more, being happy over not being satisfied and simple over complicated, you’ll develop such an attitude towards life. And soon all your decisions will be taking you to the right direction.
Then, in order to be successful we need to develop successful habits.
Here are a few small, but powerful ones, which if practiced with consistency, can become the pillar of your success:
1. A positive mantra
Think of the things you want the most – your purpose, goals, values and dreams. Form a few sentences (positive ones, with powerful words) and make them your mantra by repeating them in your mind a few times throughout the day.
You can write them down and just read them out loud until you get used to that.
This gives you an advantage as you have time for yourself and no one and nothing will distract you.
You also have the chance to plan your day, do some reading or writing, check emails, etc, which will kickstart your day and mentally prepare you for the other tasks you have.
Getting up earlier means changing a habit. The easiest way is to set up your alarm for a time that is 2 minutes earlier than the previous day. And in a month you’ll be waking up 60 minutes earlier with no problem.
“Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.” Lemony Snicket
Successful people are those with successful habits.
And although it’s better to do what the great ones do than nothing, I think it’s even better to find a way that works best for you (for whatever it is that you want to improve and change in your life).
But if I had to choose one of the habits these people have, it would be the morning routine.
Here is why:
it’s a keystone habit – that means that once you implement it, it will affect other habits of yours. For example, in order to get up early you’ll start going to bed earlier, also you’ll include things like reading, planning your day, eating a healthy breakfast, doing some housework, or else.
it gives the rest of your day a purpose;
it kickstarts your day;
it’s the only time of the day when you can have time only for yourself (as others are still sleeping), be in silence and relax;
brings peace – the morning is quiet, beautiful, there’s no one and nothing to disturb you;
you get energized and have energy throughout the whole day;
you get stuff done – you can complete a task or a few from your to-do list and feel less overburdened later in the day;
you don’t need to be in a rush – the average person gets up just before the time he needs to go out, he doesn’t have enough time for a coffee and breakfast, he often forgets something at home and gets angry, etc. But getting up earlier and having a morning routine gives you time for everything, you can do things slowly and don’t need to be in a hurry. That eliminates stress and you feel much more contented;
how you start your day defines how you’re going to end it – begin with a positive attitude, healthy meal, smile and time for yourself, and I can assure you that you won’t end the day being tired and feeling bad as usual.
Your morning routine reveals your approach to your days. And after all, life is a series of days. So if you make it a habit and do it every morning, your life will become more peaceful, organized, productive, disciplined, positive and healthier.
It’s not really about getting up early and doing stuff (although, that’s a big part of it), but more about the importance of just doing it, of knowing you’ve got a successful habit, of realizing its benefits and letting it help you improve in every other area of your life.
It all comes down to feeling more productive, to seeing yourself fresh and focused in the early hours, believing you can achieve much more, letting others see you lead a healthier life and being admired.
All this will change your mindset, and that’s where success is created. We first become happy and successful in our heads before it shows any result in real life.
So embrace the morning and dedicate it to your morning routine. Until it becomes a habit (for the next 30 days), be absolutely serious about it and make it the most important part of your day.
Make sacrifices in the beginning – like going to bed earlier, and finding the will to get up early although you won’t want to leave the comfortable bed – so that you can enjoy the benefits of it and the new and better person you’ll become later.
Have you felt the benefits of having a morning routine?
The ideal lifestyle is possible. Everyone can live the way they want… and in fact, they do. Because the way you live now, regardless of whether you like it or not, is what you chose to live like.
And you realize that mostly when you compare yourself to others, or when you do things you don’t want to do (the job you don’t like, different tasks and commitments). It’s when you see the bigger picture and understand this is not the way you want to live that you become aware of the fact that you can actually live better. So then you ask yourself: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”.
And that itself is the first step towards your journey to the ideal lifestyle. It’s not about perfectionism, not at all. It’s about not having to work something we can’t stand, do things we don’t want, miss opportunities, lack time and sleep and so on.
It’s about enjoying life more, doing what you love, becoming someone you can be proud of, doing things for others and actually spending more time with your loved ones, creating things, giving and sharing… and simply being happy and contented with every day of your life.
1. Define the ideal lifestyle
For a start, ask yourself those two questions: “What do I want my life to be like?” and “Who do I want to be in it?”. Answer them in the best and most honest way possible, because this will be your definition of what you want in life and who you want to become, and will eventually become your reality after some time.
An important thing you don’t want to miss is accepting the idea that you need to become someone else in order to live another kind of lifestyle. Many people thing what could they improve in the outer world and tend to forget that many inner changes will happen too that are often more crucial. So be aware of that and embrace the qualities you need to build to become that person.
2. Eliminate the unnecessary
Without doing this, you can’t go any further. Because there are many things in your life right now that are preventing you from moving on. They may be people, thoughts, events, habits and so on. What you need to do is to eliminate them because they don’t have a place in your ideal lifestyle.
I don’t want to repeat myself (I’ve already written about it in a previous post), so here are the things that hold you back.
3. Find what works best for you
Now that you have eliminated the unnecessary, you can make another step in your personal development. And this is the time to try and fail as much as possible. What I mean is, you need to find what works best for you. And the best way is to try as many different things as you can and preferably fail many times. Because there is no better teacher than experience and once you fail at something, you will know whether or not it’s for you and if it’s worth working on it.
Experiment with everything.
You will eventually find our which is the best sport for you, the foods that give you energy and boost your metabolism, the best time during the day for personal projects or working, the habits you need to establish, how you want to look, talk and behave and so on. You may decide that waking up at 5 a.m. is just not your things and although it’s connected with productivity and most successful people do it, you’re just more productive around lunch, or in the evening. So listen to your instincts in this case and do what’s best for you.
Test different sleep patterns, working hours, behavior, motivation strategies and so on. Find your thing and stick to it.
4. Build a few keystone habits
A keystone habit is a habit that provokes a chain of other activities that are good for you.
Getting up early for me is connected to a morning ritual with a healthy breakfast, a quick workout and a positive start of the day. This usually includes reading affirmations out loud and writing something. Going to the gym every day helps me stay on track. It’s followed by alternating hot and cold showers and staying motivated for the rest of the day. The earlier you build such habits, the better. Once you make them stick], everything else will improve too. So work on them now and concentrate on other things later.
Here are the best habits you can start implementing now:
getting up early;
planning your day from the night before;
They are proven to work wonders and it’s very important to stick to them no matter what. Just make them lifelong habits and do the certain thing even if you’re on a vacation, even after you had a bad day, even when everything seems pointless.
“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” Arnold H. Glasow
There are thousands of books, blogs, video tutorials, guides, podcasts and other sources of information on how to reach success.
Most of them offer a secret, easy steps, a unique technique or unconventional ideas to achieve it. And people keep spending money on that because they hope things really are that easy.
The truth is that things are simple. The steps you need to take to become successful are simple, but the whole journey is not easy.
It’s hard, takes time and sacrifices. And the more we deny it, the further we get from our goals.
Reading about entrepreneurs, young businessmen who’ve made a lot of money, people who started from nothing and made it to the top and so on, is totally worthwhile. Following their steps and not making their mistakes can really help a lot. But the biggest benefit is that it makes us realize that they were once average people who had nothing but the desire to change and the willingness to do what it takes to succeed.
So let’s leave all hope that the ideal lifestyle we want to lead will be easy, there is a magic button for that and we’ll see the person we want to become in the mirror in a week or so.
Let’s face the real facts that have been proven for so many centuries and start working on our goals now so that we can soon see the progress which will be the motivation we’ll then need to keep going.
Here I’ve listed the most important things you’ll need to do, qualities you’ll need to develop and the way of thinking you should have in order to live your legend and get everything you want.
They go together. You may need to work on some of them more than others, but eventually you’ll need all of these traits.
It all starts with a purpose. It is the momentum that will make you begin, that will help you make the first step and will give you direction in life.
Your purpose is your sacred desire, the thing you want to have/be/experience/etc. the most and for which you’re willing to make sacrifices.
Without your purpose you’ll be going nowhere and thus won’t know what step to take next. It’s like walking in the dark. All you need to know is the final destination and the next step. And both of these become clear by defining your purpose and staying focused on it every single day.
So make sure you know exactly what you want in your life, have defined your deepest desires and clarified your intentions.
See yourself successful before you really are. This is a step not everyone is ready to take because of all the self-limiting beliefs we have and the mediocrity we live in.
But once you start visualizing success, you will make your mind believe it’s actually possible.
Also you’ll set in motion one of the most powerful laws in the universe – the law of attraction. It’s proven that we’re human magnets and whatever we think of, we become.
Constantly visualizing the result we want, expecting it to happen in the best way possible and focusing on that thought is what will make the universe bring us people, things, events and situations with the same energy level. Everything in the world is in vibration and the power of visualization can help you get anything that has the same vibration.
Of course you shouldn’t count on that. The biggest mistake will be to just sit there and expect success to knock on the door. Instead, take actions every day that take you closer to your final destination but keep in mind that the universe is not against you (as most people think).
Not only should you believe that what you want is possible and you can become the best version of yourself, but you should be absolutely sure about it.
It’s another universal law that whatever you believe in, becomes your reality. Soon you’ll start to see things that are consistent with your beliefs and nothing else will matter. Then you’ll start taking actions based on those beliefs and that’s when the real magic happens.
Nothing will ever happen unless you don’t do something about it. The most important thing is to begin. Make the first small step towards achieving your goal.
It may be anything (writing the title of your book, buying a gym membership, telling your friend about what you’re up to, selling your car to invest the money in your idea, etc.) but it has to be done right away.
An object in motion stays in motion. So start small, start now and everything else will come in place.
That is what holds most people back. They just think it’s such an obvious step and don’t pay enough attention to it. It’s also the thing they’re not happy doing and want to avoid.
I’m sorry to tell you that but without this step nothing will ever happen. There may be some exceptions you know about – people who got it all without sweating too much – but you can’t rely on that.
Many give up on that step too. It’s actually harder than the previous one because it means doing the hard work over and over again.
Most people underestimate the power of repetition because they just don’t fancy it. But if you think about it we live a life of repetitive actions – our habits. And if we don’t take control of them and choose the right ones, then they will control us.
So whatever you do, don’t stop and keep pushing. Soon satisfaction will come.
Another inevitable part of the whole process. If you read the biography of any successful person you admire, or just the About page of a top blogger, you’ll see what they’ve been through to get there. And it will most probably consist of many sacrifices.
It may be free time, money, social life, fun, holidays and so on. But the point is that you’ll have to invest something in order to get something back.
And last but not least is a very interesting quality not everyone possesses, but as anything else, it can be learnt.
Here is how Napoleon Hill describes it:
“Initiative is that very rare quality which impels a person to do what ought to be done without being told to do it.
Golden opportunities are lurking at ever corner, waiting for the person with initiative to come along and discover them.
Before a person can rise very high in any field of endeavor, he must become a person of vision who can think in big terms, who can create definite plans and then carry these plans into actions, all of which makes it imperative that the quality of initiative be developed.”
These are the most important things you need to know. Now that you see how possible it all is and that it’s absolutely free and you can start immediately, everything is in your hands.
Which of these do you need to work more on? And where on your journey to success are you at this point? Share your answers in the comments below.