A Minimalist Step-by-step Guide to Reacting in Tough Situations

how to react in tough situations

You know these moments when someone makes you so angry that you want to scream or even punch him in the face. When someone says something so offensive that you can’t help yourself and burst into tears. When the one you’re talking to is so annoying that you lose control and say things you regret later.

No matter how strong and well-balanced we are, we’ve all been there at some point. And we’ve all said and done something inappropriate that was far from how we usually react and behave.

What we usually do (but shouldn’t)?

You speak with someone on the phone and he annoys you so much that you can’t stand him anymore and start shouting at him, hang up or throw your phone against the wall.
A direct and open person tells you what he thinks about you/your boss isn’t happy with your performance and explains to you why you failed/an acquaintance of yours shares what he doesn’t like about your appearance/etc. In these cases, and many more similar situations, you show your weakness by bursting into tears, start whining and making excuses.

You get an adrenaline rush and act without thinking. Your whole being is full of anger, rage or another strong and unwanted emotion, and you react in the easiest way – by letting it out – which is also the most reckless one.

Every situation like that finishes bad for both sides, you leave the room weaker than before, being offended or having hurt the other person, with a reason to regret, most probably blaming everyone else but you. All that brings stress, unhappiness and disappointment in your life. And that is exactly what you’re trying to avoid. And as it usually happens in life, the solution to that is much simpler that we expect it to be.

So in a nutshell, what you shouldn’t do is lose control, make a fool of yourself, put the blame on everyone else but you, react without thinking and do and say things you’ll regret.

In order to respond differently to someone that doesn’t behave the way you expect him to, you’ll need a different approach.

What to do then?

As with every other behavior we’re trying to change, here you will need to give it time and effort and use all your willpower. You’ll need a good understanding of your own behavior and a realization of what causes it and how it can be prevented.
First of all be positive and promise to give your best. If you follow the next steps precisely (and try again after having failed), you will make a huge improvement in your personality and will see changes in other aspects of your life too.

Just imagine how proud you will feel about yourself when you manage to hold your temper and control your emotions in a situation where everyone else would flare up.

Here is a step-by-step guide to learning exactly what to do when things can easily get out of control:

How to React in Tough Situations

1. Prepare.

Preparation is often the most important step of a plan.
Maybe here not to such an extent, but still being prepared will help you a lot.

2. When you feel like bursting into rage or tears, simply don’t do it.

3. Breathe deeply – it always helps.

Also do the good old trick and count to 10.
That will relax you, clear your head a bit and give yourself time to become aware of what’s going on.

4. Try to see the big picture of things.

Is what you’re doing now important and meaningful compared to the things in your life that really matter? How will you feel in a few hours/days if you let your emotions out now?

What if you’re wrong? Try to put yourself in the place of the person in front of you. You have no idea what he’s been through, and maybe he has a reason to be like that. Be kind, understanding, sympathetic.

If not else, these things will keep your mind occupied for some time and before you know it your anger/frustration will be gone. This way you will be able to handle things and respond appropriately.

5. Accept the situation as it is.

You are here, now, with that person. Make the most of it! Your reaction will either make things worse for you and the other one, or will be an experience and a lesson for you that will make you stronger.

6. Let go and move on for now.

You’ll be happy you did it later. Sometimes, when the situation is really out of control, it is better to just ignore what’s going on and leave without responding.

7. Use that energy for something better.

At the moment right after someone has spoken the fateful words and when you’re on the verge of reacting in the worst way possible, there is an enormous amount of energy in you. The best you can do with it is to make use of it later and invest it in some other activity.

Use all the power, emotions,feelings and adrenaline inside of you and dedicate it to something meaningful. Go to the gym, concentrate on your working projects, write, run, create something new. But don’t indulge in overeating, drinking, getting depressed or complaining.

The possibilities are countless so turn that situation into something beautiful.

8. On the next day, or later, go back to that occurrence and try to analyze it.

Try to figure out what caused it in the first place. There is always an explanation. Think of the stimulus and why you let yourself come to a situation where your adrenaline increased to a point where you can’t control your behavior.

By doing so you’ll be able to prevent it from happening again.

If you practice that and do it consciously, you can soon understand your reactions, beat all your weaknesses and control your mind and body.

Managing to let go, relax, accept, draw a lesson and transfer your energy to another thing, will be the turning point in your development, in which you will no longer depend on the current situation, people’s behavior and your emotions.

Go beyond the materialistic human nature and aggressive manners and thank for the current state you’re in. Be grateful for what you are experiencing now even if it seems bad at the moment. It has a lesson you’ll learn later. It made you stronger and wise even if you don’t realize it yet. You did the right thing.

 PS, I really want to thank the fellow student of mine that upset me so much with one sentence (because the situation was ridiculous and I didn’t expect her at all to reply like that) that I felt like crying for a moment but instead of saying something (although I didn’t know what) I decided to write this post and let go.

Have you had such incidents lately? How did you react?

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How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money

How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money - Interview with R.J. Weiss from TheWaystoWealth.com

This is an interview-style post with R.J. Weiss from The Ways to Wealth.

Hey R.J. What’s your background and what do you do?

I blog about all things personal finance at The Ways to Wealth.

Before I went full-time into blogging, I spent ten years in the financial services industry. Specifically, helping families buy the right type of life insurance.

During my time with a full-time job, I’ve always had different side hustles going on. From freelance writing, Amazon FBA, conversion rate optimization, to website design — there were many projects I pursued outside of work.

How did you start your career in finance?

I got started in finance straight out of college working for my the family insurance business. As I love the financial planning side of things, I choose to specialize in life insurance planning. This led me down the path to obtaining the CFP® Certification.

What made you start blogging?

The Ways to Wealth, which I started in 2016, has been my 5th blog.

The others mostly fizzled out most due to a lack of interest. But, in 2009 I started a personal finance blog called GenYWealth.com (no longer around) that had some success.

The idea GenYwealth.com was to write about what I was learning about studying to take the CFP®. The blog was, by all means, a success. I was able to gain valuable knowledge, pass the CFP® exam, earn some extra money and build up a good community.

I then took this knowledge and started a business blog, which allowed the insurance agency I was working for to generate leads.

I started The Ways to Wealth because my passion is personal finance–from investing to travel hacking, I love the challenge of optimizing my finances.

How was The Ways to Wealth born?

I didn’t have much of a plan for starting The Ways to Wealth when I purchased the domain name.

I was actually thinking it would be a niche site, which was inspired by Pat Flynn’s niche site duel. Then, I came across the income reports of Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and wisely changed direction to a more traditional blog.

This change came about 6-months after starting to blog.  I did a timeline of the site in one of my income reports.

What worked best when trying to grow the site?

I had a decent knowledge of SEO. So at first, I started growing the site with email outreach. One of the first posts I had about best investing books of all time, had about 15 links to it.

This was nice to start with but was quite slow to build up, as it can take a while to earn Google’s trust.

The big turning point came when I started to understand Pinterest. I spent a few frustrating weeks on the platform, then it finally started paying dividends.

I went from about 100 sessions a day to 1,000, which was huge for me at the time.

How did you get to 3 million monthly viewers on Pinterest?

the ways to wealth pinterest 3 million monthly views

I lay out my Pinterest strategy here. But at the core the idea is to:

1) Write high-quality content that Pinners want to click through, read, and share.

2) Pin to my own and high-quality group boards, with a keyword-rich description.

3) Continue to Pin my best pins across my own boards/group boards, ruthlessly eliminating Pins that don’t perform well.

One thing to keep in mind is impressions don’t mean much on Pinterest. What counts are clicks to your website. So, you want to design not for impressions but clicks.

What aspects of the online business are you outsourcing or automating and how?

The first thing I outsourced was Pinterest design. I’ll design about 30-40 pins a month, so this was big time saver for me.

Of course, it took some work to get going. At first, I hired 5 or so people on Fiverr. I found one decent designer but the work quality deteriorated over time.

I then went to Upwork and posted a job for a  graphic designer. I found a great team down in Argentina, who I’m very happy with.

I’m currently experimenting with working with a ghostwriter. A few of my latest posts have been transcribed from my recording, with the ghostwriter making sense of it all.

I can compile about 3 posts in 90 minutes, then take another 90 or so minutes to prepare them. Saving me around 3-4 hours per post this way.

What’s your main income stream and why do you think it works for you?

My main source of income for the blog is affiliate revenue. It works because the partners I do have are high-quality businesses, who deliver value and solve real problems. This makes it easy to naturally link to such a partner.

When did you start making more than $10K/month and what was the turning point?

My first month over $10K was in January of 2018. In December of 2017, income was around $3,000 and in July of 2017 around $500. So, it was definitely a jump.

What happened then in January?

First, personal finance is at its peak interest in January.

Second, I had multiple Pins go viral.

Third, in November I started driving traffic via Facebook to the site. So, in January I could take campaigns I’d been fine-tuning for a few weeks and scale them.

How do you balance work and family life?

I have a routine I stick to Monday through Friday.

When inside of my designated working hours, I work. When outside of these hours, I’m not.

This is a lot easier said than done. But the thing important for me is not to take work everywhere I go. This means I don’t have any apps on my phone that are work-related (email, analytics, etc..)

What are you 3 best finance tips for newbies?

  • Focus on your savings rate. How much you save is the most important decision you’ll make.
  • Small incremental improvements add up over time. My favorite example is increasing your savings rate 1% every quarter, means you’ll be saving 20% of your income in just 5 years.
  • Study happiness. Become a student on how to increase your level of happiness. The natural result is you’ll want less overtime, making the game of personal finance a lot easier to win.

What books, blogs or podcasts help you stay motivated along the way of growing an online business?

I read a fair amount to keep fresh ideas in my head.

My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show.

Two blogs I enjoy reading are:

Farnam Street
Barking up the Wrong Tree

And as far as books. I try to read one a week. A few books I would recommend to online entrepreneurs would be:

Deep Work by Cal Newport
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Pin this post if you enjoyed the interview.

Check out my interview with R.J. from TheWaystoWealth to see how he entered the finance niche, started making money blogging, began bringing traffic from Pinterest and monetizing it with affiliate marketing, and is now making $10,000/month from his online business. #blogger #interview #blogtraffic #incomeideas #income