All the problems we have come from us not being okay with something and discontent with the way things (or we ourselves) are.
We seek happiness in external sources (food, alcohol, other people, etc.) We don’t trust ourselves, we don’t believe we’re good enough or that we deserve a great life and are able to change.
We’re not confident with our body, appearance, behavior and performance. We expect events to turn out in a certain way and people to act as we expect them to. And when that outcome doesn’t happen, we’re sad, disappointed and even get angry.
We’re always comparing, wishing we were somewhere else and never happy with what we’re doing right now.
We sabotage our success because we’re not sure we deserve it, or we doubt ourselves and don’t even try.
All these are common problems we all have today and are the root of our discontent with life.
I think that in order to be happy we need to stop judging and comparing, let go of ideals and expectations. We should trust, love and appreciate ourselves and realize that everything around us is a reason to be grateful.
It’s something we can all do at any given moment only if we decide and allow ourselves to be happy.
In the book I explain how all the things on our mind that we should let go of are stopping us from moving forward and experiencing life right now. Because how can you be here and enjoy the present consciously if you’re having regrets about the past and worries about the future…
The solution then is to be happy with the way things are. This is the Zen way and it’s the path to contentment.
You can still try to improve yourself but this time it will be after you’ve accepted yourself for who you are and are okay with that. You can make changes but you don’t need that in order to be happy because it’s something from the outer world. And you don’t have anything to do with it when it comes down to your happiness… because everything happens inside of you.
Having found joy from within means that no matter how things turn out, you’ll find a way to make the best of the situation and find its positives.
And before you set goals, before you want to go somewhere else or change the person you are in order to live better and be happier, before you strive for success and want more in your life, stop for a while.
Slow down and look around. Maybe there are things you haven’t noticed before. And often what you take for granted is the actual reason for your happiness, you just need to open your eyes for it.
Then try to stop interfering and just go with the flow. Life is beautiful the way it is and letting things be is natural. That’s how we embrace simplicity and bring peace and emotional freedom in our life.
These are the things I want everyone to realize because many remain blind for them. Those who have so much, whose days are filled with abundance, don’t see it and want to change it all, wishing that what they’re looking for will be better. They expect things, don’t appreciate the ones they have now, and thus live a life full of regrets, doubts, fears of missing out, plans and ungratefulness.
I want to remind you that this isn’t the way life should be. Instead, we can all be happy, all the time. A little change in the mindset is all we need to fix our problems and once we look at things from another perspective, the same world we live in starts to look amazing. And we live every next day to the fullest.
So, how do we go with the flow?
I’ll share with you my writing process.
It’s nothing special and actually there’s no fixed routine.
Ideas pop up in my head while reading books or stuff on the Internet, traveling, noticing little daily things, watching videos and movies, communicating (it may be a simple thing someone says but it can provoke many ideas I can later turn into posts), or basically almost everything I do. It may be while doing something, or just sitting and contemplating.
The idea may by a title for a post (Yes, sometimes I just think of random titles.), an introduction for another, the main idea of a third one, or just something to work later on.
After some time I’ll eventually think of a title of all the written posts that don’t have one, of what to write on empty word documents that only have a title, a new paragraph to write here, or a list there.
The thing is that one idea gives birth to many others. I think one of my best habits is writing each of them down.
That way when sometimes I want to write but have nothing particular in mind, I just go through a few pages of such ideas and pick random ones. Then I combine them in a post.
Now as I think of it, that process is a complete chaos.
But it turns out to be working. And I know why.
Simply because I don’t force anything. I don’t try to think of a title of a post immediately after finishing it, or to write a last paragraph of one just to get it done.
Instead, I go with the flow. And soon each of them is a completed one – with a title that fits perfectly and the exact idea I wanted to share in its content.
My job is to have ideas, take action (write them down, start writing when I feel like and when I have something to say) and not to force things. The rest just comes in place at the right time.
Here is what Leo Babauta says in his ebook “The Effortless Life”:
“The writing has been effortless because I’m passionate about it, I have no fixed plans or expectations, I’m in no rush, I’m doing it
mindfully, and I’m letting others help me edit, so I save unnecessary work.”
He also shares a lesson of Bruce Lee:
Be like water making its way through cracks.
Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object,
and you shall find a way round or through it.
If nothing within you stays rigid, outward
things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless—
like water. Now you put water in a cup,
it becomes the cup; You put water into a
bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a
teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can
flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.
How to achieve that?
In order to do this, we need to let go of all our fears, doubts, expectations and fixed plans. We need to feel this flow and go with it. Just like water.
An important thing to do is to trust that things will turn out just the way they should.
We’re all obsessed with the need of having control over everything in our life, of having security (which, in my opinion, is an illusion. You can see why here.)
Only letting go can help you free yourself of that burden. Only embracing insecurity and realizing that control is imaginary will give you the way to go with the flow, to do everything naturally and in accordance with the universe.
You’ll reach that level of joy, harmony and peaceful mind when you stop forcing things and accept them as they are. You can, of course, take actions in order to get what you want, but they should correspond with the natural laws. And you should not interfere this flow.
Living effortlessly is an amazing thing. It takes time to get there, but you can do it. It’s a level of consciousness where you won’t feel afraid, insecure, in doubt, disappointed or another negative emotion. That is why your actions will be the right things you need to do and there will be enough space in your life and mind for joy and contentment to come.
What do you think? Can you say that you’re going with the flow sometimes? What’s the result?