When You Feel Lost 163

do you feel lost?

When was the last time you felt like yourself?

I notice how people, including myself, often feel lost. Sometimes we just feel that everything is pointless, we lose hope and track of time and we let desperation, regrets and sadness take control.

It’s an awful place to be at and getting there can have permanent damage on us. We may ditch important projects, take a serious decision and make a drastic change while feeling that way and that will have consequences. We may go many steps back in our self-improvement or go back to old habits.

So something must be done on order not to feel like that anymore.

First, it’s important to analyze why you had that feeling the last time. The reason may be one of these:

  • you’ve been doing something you don’t like for years – a job maybe;
  • you aren’t following your dreams;
  • you’ve given up on something important to you;
  • you live by someone else’s standards;
  • you live unconsciously;
  • you’re always busy;
  • there’s too much stress and anxiety in your life;
  • you spend too much time with people you have nothing in common with;
  • you’re in a bad relationship;
  • you’re not sure if you’re doing the right things.

Then it’s time to start noticing the details. Be aware of each time you don’t agree with someone but pretend to, do something you don’t enjoy, feel bad or sad, have regrets and doubts.

Now think again about the last time you felt like yourself. Visualize it. Who else was there? What were you doing? What was different?

Answering these questions will give you the answers you need. You know what really makes you happy but sometimes you tend to forget. So remind yourself of all the activities you enjoy, the people you like spending time with, the hobbies you once had, the little things you loved that made you smile and the way they made you feel.

Happiness is a state of mind. And you’ll never be contented with your life if you don’t let yourself be who you really are.

Most people have jobs they don’t like, colleagues they can’t stand and play a role in front of others. They leave their dreams behind so that they can have time for their daily commitments and tasks. They are prisoners of their own mind and full of fears and regrets and pretend to be someone else in order to avoid facing the real problem.

Living that way is harmful because your mind and soul need more freedom, inspiration, time for yourself, things that make you laugh, people that love you and happy moments. What they need less of is stress, bad choices, wrong people, caring too much about what others say, great expectations and unfulfilled dreams.

So don’t wait for the next time you feel lost to do something about that. Act now. Happiness is here, you just need to embrace it. Enjoy the present moment and start living more consciously.

Once you realize how beautiful things are right now and accept yourself for who you are, things will get better. There’s so much to be grateful for and so many possibilities around you. Focus on that!

See also:

Feeling lost and how it can help you find yourself
7 tips to find yourself when you’re feeling lost

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How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business 6

How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business

Perfection in your work is amazing – but perfectionism is a trait that can prevent you getting anything done.

If you find that you frequently miss deadlines, alienate your teammates, or develop stress symptoms as a result of your fear of less-than-perfect, it is likely a good idea to recalibrate your efforts.

This harmful breed of perfectionism is known as maladaptive perfectionism. It’s a problem because pushing yourself to reach unattainable results is a lose-lose situation.

Whether it is time limitations, restricted resources, or your own physical limits that hold you back, continuing to strive for perfect work when the conditions aren’t right will harm the work and will harm you.

But how can you temper your perfectionism without compromising your standards? As it happens, there are plenty of ways that have been scientifically demonstrated to be effective.

In Brazil, for example, researchers have shown that using visualization techniques to put your worries into perspective can help you to form a more realistic strategy to proceed. When you catch yourself stressing over a detail or panicking over a deadline, put a couple of minutes aside to sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of everything that’s going right with your project, and everything that’s going wrong. This way you will get a more objective idea of what you’ve achieved and what is still possible.

Perfectionism also has a social aspect.

This has become acuter with the rise of social media since we are bombarded with constant reminders of just how well our friends and rivals appear to be getting on. You may find you have a particular friend (or more than one!) who loses their social filter when they get online and has a tendency to leave unasked-for and negative ‘feedback’ on anything you share.

Social media is not reality. If you find yourself competing with the heavily-mediated expectations that come with life on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, then do yourself a favor and simply log off.

Even a one-month social media detox can help you get a little more of that precious ‘perspective’ that perfectionists so dearly need.

But perhaps the most valuable lesson at all is to learn to embrace flaws and mistakes.

The world is not perfect; even nature has its glitches and shortfalls. Deliberately integrated into your work, through clever design or just through learning from your mistakes, imperfection can make what you do more resonant and more beautiful.

The Japanese have a name for this: wabi-sabi. Learn to enjoy that which you cannot control, and the world will become a less intimidating place.

Sounds like a good place to start? You’ll find nine great tips on how to make the most of your perfectionism in this new visual guide from Saving Spot.