This Too Shall Pass

this too shall pass

Bad things happen. But they pass. And new stuff happens after that.

If we decide to hold onto the previous event, and relive it again and again in our heads, we won’t be able to experience the new things life has planned for us.

Don’t take things too seriously.

Some people let one tragic event ruin their whole life. They never move on. Instead, they create their own hell and live in it every single day.

But what’s the point of that?

Should one failure, loss, bad relationships, disease, lost job or another problem define us for the rest of our lives?
Of course not.

Things are permanent. So don’t take them too seriously.

There are things you can prepare for, moments you can take action in, situations you can make the best of and opportunities you can take.

But when something’s already happened and there’s nothing you can do about it, just let it be and move on.

Time heals everything.

Realize that and it will take you much less time in the future.

If you know misery, disappointment, bad feelings and depression are permanent and you’ll eventually get back on track, then you won’t waste so much time feeling sorry for yourself, having regrets or missing someone.

Bad things pass. And life goes on.

And you either move on with it, or stay stuck in a past experience and keep ruining your present moment.

Learn to let go.

You can be present and live life to the fullest only if you leave the past behind.

Letting go means being okay with things as they are, focusing on the now and not thinking about anything else.

This way you make place for new things to happen, and let in freedom, peace and contentment.

What has already happened doesn’t need to exist in your now. So let it stay in the past. Take a lesson, become stronger and look forward to what lies in store.

This moment is the only place where you can do something about your future. Nothing else exists.

I think it’s crucial that we become present and learn how to be mindful of our current activity.

That’s how you enjoy life. That’s where you find happiness.

“…no amount of thinking can eliminate the wonder and pain of living. No wall or avoidance or denial—no cause or excuse—can keep the rawness of life from running through us. While this may at times seem devastating, it is actually reassuring, because while the impermanence of life, if fixed on, can be terrifying, leaving us preoccupied with death, the very same impermanence, if allowed its infinite frame, can soothe us with the understanding that even the deepest pain will pass.”
Mark Nepo, Book of Awakening

See also:

“This Moment”  – my eBook on living in the present moment and letting go of past and future – you can get it for free
Going with the flow
The painful beauty of impermancence
The origin of our suffering
The power of the present moment

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How to Look and Sound More Confident

How to Look and Sound More Confident

We associate confident people with success. But does confidence lead to success, or does success lead to confidence?

It’s a bit of a chicken and egg scenario. But there is plenty of evidence to suggest that working on your confidence levels will indeed boost your achievements in the workplace.

The thing about confidence is that it works two ways.

On the one hand, exude confidence and your clients and colleagues will have confidence in you – self-belief is very reassuring to others!

In fact, for better or worse, the mere appearance of confidence can be more likely to get you a promotion than your actual ability! When you think of some of the dubious phonies who’ve leapfrogged you in the past, it kinda makes sense, right?

And on the other hand, confidence builds confidence within yourself. When you adopt the look and the sound of the self-assured, you begin to feel bolder on the inside. You take risks and put yourself forward for opportunities you might otherwise not have. You begin to work with clear, bold strokes rather than inching ahead in half-measures.

Great – so how to create that feeling? Well, in the long-term, you can use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to deal with the underlying causes of your indecisiveness and lack of confidence. But in the short run, getting the aforementioned look and sound of self-belief is a fairly simple matter of adjusting the way you speak, listen, and move.

If you’re particularly shy, try starting with your hands.

Keep them out of your pockets.

Burying your hands in your pockets instantly gives the (possibly correct) impression that you are nervous or uncertain.

And even the (hopefully incorrect) impression that you are dishonest or lazy. Keeping your palms open and faced upwards is a way of opening up to those around you and exuding trust.

Likewise, a firm handshake of around two-five seconds communicates warmth and self-assuredness. A limp handshake, on the other hand, might create the impression that you feel out of your depth. And an over-strong handshake always feels like the giver is trying to prove something!

The next steps are to work on your eye contact and the way that you intone your sentences.

This can be a bit much to think about when you’re struggling with what you actually want to say. Which is why it’s best to start with the other stuff first.

But take it one stage at a time and you can gradually build a confident manner that will start to perpetuate itself by making you feel strong on the inside. For a full guide to the remaining tweaks, you can make to get that feeling, run through this new infographic from Poundplace.

 

Build your confidence back up, and success will surely follow.

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Build your confidence back up, and success will surely follow. Here's an infographic on how to look and sound more confident: #confidence #selfesteem