If You Feel Like Your Happiness Is Slipping Away, Read This 344

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I usually preach letting go of the need to control everything. I say it’s an illusion and living with it only causes suffering.

That’s because we can’t change what’s happened in the past, and can’t predict what the next moment will bring. And having regrets, being worried, making plans, having expectations, comparing and overthinking – all these are a result of us trying to control stuff that can’t be controlled.

Simply because it depends on many outer factors – people, events, coincidences, unexpected situations, or is a consequence of life’s natural flow, which we need to respect and try to go with.

What we can do, however, is embrace insecurity, accept whatever happens as the perfect thing for this exact moment, and make the best of it.

And I stand by my words.

But when it comes down to your own happiness, things are a little bit different.

The truth is you’re responsible for your level of satisfaction and joy in life, and no one else. You’re the only one to blame for the happiness in your life, or the lack of it.
And understanding that, admitting it and taking responsibility is the first step.

But what is happiness and why do we feel like it’s slipping away?

Happiness is an inner state.

It’s a combination of how good we feel with our current lifestyle and the peace we have, it’s the ability to enjoy the present moment, being free of negative thoughts, appreciating what is and truly experiencing it.

A happy person is one with a positive attitude towards life, who’s alright with everything that happens, who counts his blessing and feels good about himself, but also has goals and a direction to follow.

Not many people have it, though.

It’s not a material possession, it’s a state, a feeling, a level of consciousness. But can be developed, found, created and can eventually become a habit.

You just need to take control of it.

3 Reasons Why You’ve Lost Control Over Your Happiness

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1. You let other people take it away.

Just like it is with time and money, happiness too can be taken away when it’s not taken care of.

People will always ask for your attention, advice and help. They will want you to do things for them and make them feel better.

And you should. But often it can decrease your level of contentment by making you depressed, taking away your energy, making you angry, etc.

Some people are toxic and bring only bad emotions into our life. They burden us with their problems, complain about everything and seek help. But they can’t find it as they’re playing the role of a victim, and that’s how they find comfort. So it’s not your advice, attention or love they’re looking for, it’s your pity.

And not only do you become miserable yourself and feel bad about your achievements in life, but you also help them build an even stronger sense of being a victim and they keep doing it.

So stop letting others take your happiness. Take control of it. Nurture it just like you invest time, effort and compassion in a relationship with someone else.

2. You think you don’t deserve it.

That’s an awful approach to life. It means that you’re so insecure, discontent and with a low opinion of yourself, that you think you need to give something in order to receive happiness, or that you don’t deserve it because of what you’ve done in the past.

All that doesn’t matter.

Every human being is equal in having the right to be happy.
The past is gone, who you were yesterday doesn’t need to be who you are today.

And you can start being worthy of happiness right now if you open yourself to it, if you realize you’re good enough, appreciate who you are and decide to become the best version of yourself.

3. You seek it in outer sources.

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It can’t be found in material stuff, other people’s affection, money, work or the unhealthy behavior we tend to indulge in like drinking, smoking, overeating, shopping, etc.

Things like these bring you instant gratification, but moments after that you feel empty again and crave more.
And you’re missing the most important thing – that happiness is already here.

If you find it without trying to do something in particular, to become someone or to achieve things first, you’ll be able to keep it no matter what life throws at you.

So if you feel like happiness is slipping away, it probably is. But it’s also possible that you’ve never actually felt it.

You’ve never left all thoughts, desires and regrets behind, you’ve never let go of judging, comparing and wishing, and thus you’ve never had the space and peace to welcome happiness in your life.
And now that you know all this, you also see how true it sounds.

Because somewhere deep inside you’ve always known that you weren’t doing the right thing, as you weren’t feeling the right kind of happiness.

Admit that fact.
Accept it.
Then take a deep breath and let it go.

Now your mind is free of doubt, negativism and fear. And you can let in the contentment that can only be found in the present moment.

And you don’t need to do anything else. Just feel it, and enjoy it. That’s what happiness looks like.
And now you’re in control.

So which of these do you struggle with? And what are you going to do about it?

See also:

The hidden costs of being happy
The only guide to happiness you’ll ever need

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10 Things Uber Successful People Do in the Morning 10

10 Things Uber Successful People Do in the Morning

Who doesn’t want to be successful? Whatever our purpose in life may be, we want to achieve success with it. Although success is usually perceived as career growth, it also encompasses personal growth. These two things go together.

So what can we do to reach the personal and professional growth of uber successful people? Maybe we can imitate some of their habits. Their morning rituals, in particular, set the pace of the day.

Did you know that the way you start your mornings affects your entire day?

You probably felt that, but guess what: science proves it as a fact, too.

In a study called “Waking up on the wrong side of the bed: start-of-workday mood, work events, employee affect, and performance,” researchers found that whatever the mood of workers was during the morning, they preserved it throughout the entire day.

So if you start off in a good mood, you have greater chances of having a great day. That’s why morning routines are so important.

Let’s learn from the ultra successful people, shall we? How do they start their mornings?

What The Most Successful Do in The Morning

1. Spend Time with the Partner.


As we said, success is not only about professional achievements. It also means having the right person by your side.

Take Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan as an example. They are both crazy successful, and they are definitely happy to have each other.

Waking up next to the person you love makes every morning special. Appreciate that moment. Have a coffee together. Talk. Be glad you’re there for each other.

2. Mindfulness.

Yes; mindfulness is a habit.

Successful people are always busy. Can you imagine a hectic morning with dozens of urgent email messages, business partners calling, and the kids yelling? And they are still in their pajamas! That’s why they practice mindfulness.

Researchers from The University of Sydney found that mindfulness reduces work-related stress and improves the mood at work. That’s why successful people always seem ready to deal with any situation.

So how do you practice mindfulness in the morning?

Just wake up. Take few deep breaths. Be aware of the present moment. Be aware of the responsibilities the day ahead will bring. Relax, and tell yourself that you’re ready.

3. Plan the Day.

A good plan will set you on the right track.

Plan your tasks for the day in the morning. When you have such an outline, it will be easier to handle all responsibilities. You’ll know you’ll have time for all tasks.

If you realize there’s not enough time, you should plan how to outsource. If, for example, you cannot complete a business report, you can hire assignment masters to write or edit it for you.

4. Exercise.

I know; it’s a cliché. However, it’s also an activity that works.

Physical exercise makes you fitter, but it also makes you happierWhen you’re done with your morning exercise ritual, you feel at ease, and things start to clear up.

Most successful people exercise. Hillary Clinton does yoga. Obama works out for 45 minutes six days per week. Mark Cuban does cardio fitness. Follow their example!

5. Practice Patience.

Too many things ahead? If your schedule is busy, you’ll be eager to get things done ASAP. The morning is the period of the day when you should practice patience. Relax.

You already made a plan. There’s time for everything. You’ll get through the day. For now, cherish this precious moment of morning relaxation.

6. Juice Up.

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It’s no wonder why so many celebrities are into the latest juice detox trend. Healthy juices give you valuable nutrients and make you feel more energized.

Have a different juice every single morning. Sure, the juicer will take some cleaning after, but the juice will certainly give you enough energy for that.

7. Eat Breakfast.

You saw this coming, didn’t you?

Uber successful people know that the breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It’s even better when it’s healthy.

Yes; the juice can be your breakfast, but it won’t make you feel full for long. If you don’t intend to have a standard breakfast, pack some fruit for work. A banana and an apple are mandatory!

8. Hydrate.

Have a glass of water as soon as you wake up. Hydration is essential for the way your entire system functions.

9. Be With the Right People.

In Tools of Titans, author Timothy Ferriss refers to a so-called “five chimps theory” in zoology. According to that theory, you can predict the behavior of any chimp if you analyze the five chimps they usually hang out with.

There’s a lot of wisdom in that theory. When you surround with nervous people, you’re nervous, too. When you surround yourself with positive characters, you reflect good vibes, too.

The first people you contact in the morning will set the mood for your day. Choose them carefully.

10. Celebrate Achievements.

When you wake up with a positive mindset, you’ll boost your chances of spending a good day.

Instead of thinking about all obstacles ahead, you should take time to think about all achievements you’ve made towards your current goals. This appreciation will convince you that you’re on the right track.

When we sum things up, all these morning habits of the ultra successful people seem pretty simple, don’t they?

However, it takes tons of persistence and commitment to stay true to them. Start by making small steps. Pick few of these activities and repeat them every day, until they turn into habits.   

Cathy Baylis is a personal growth expert who writes insightful articles that motivate and challenge others. She has worked as a writer for a little over a decade now, and owns several blogs that she updates on her free time.