8 Things to Stop Doing in Your Relationship 60

8 Things to Stop Doing in your Relationship - Jon Ebron

This is a guest post by Jon Eborn.

I meet men and women all the time who admit that sometimes they think relationships are overrated. For one reason or another they struggle more than they should. It is true that relationships don’t always go as smoothly as we’d like and with the divorce rate at 50%, let’s not pretend they are a piece of cake.

Yes, they take some work and some selflessness, but they also require having some sound relationship wisdom and discipline. Remember, it’s not really how much you know; it’s about applying what you know into your life. Take a look at the following 8 things you must stop doing in your relationship…pronto!

1. Cut the jealousy out.

Give each other some space. No one wants to feel smothered and imprisoned. If you seriously can’t trust your partner, get out of the relationship. Everyone deserves free time, privacy, and some friends to hang out with. Be secure and trusting. Cut the jealousy out!

2. Don’t pick fights.

One common problem in relationships is arguing over the smallest things or getting annoyed continually. This causes hurt and pushes you and your partner apart. Instead of picking fights, try talking your problems through in a calm manner. If you’re stressed out, go work out or meditate. If you’re PMSing, curl up in bed and watch a movie or stay at work late. I’ve picked fights and I’ve been the recipient and neither are any good.

3. You’re not the boss.

I understand that relationships usually involve one who is more of the leader – who wears the pants in the relationship – but this can cause resentment if it is taken too far. You’re not really the boss so lose the fat head. Work on making your relationship equal on both parts. No one wants to be bossed around and feel like they are a slave.

4. Don’t judge.

Everyone is different and has different opinions on certain topics. If your partner does not agree with you, do not judge them or put them down for it. Chill out. Wouldn’t it be pretty boring if you agreed on everything anyway? Different opinions can actually be a good thing.

5. Stop complaining.

Of course, everyone complains or vents sometimes and a little bit is completely fine. You’re only human. But complaining about every little detail is a turn off for your partner and can cause you and your partner to feel distant. All you do is come across as a whiny little brat.

6. Stand true to your word.

If you make a promise, make it a priority to keep it. Do what you say you’re going to do. You need to have trust in a relationship and breaking promises causes distrust. Watch what you say and make sure that if you say something, you really mean it.

7. If they say they loves you, they do.

Many people like to hear “I love you” about 3 times a day. They just like to hear it (or read it in a text).

Problem is that some people do not feel compelled to repeat themselves on the matter continually. I hear this from men a lot. They say, “I say I love you often” (which really is like once per day or two, but to them, that’s a lot!) and women will complain that they don’t hear it enough.

How about coming up with a magic number and agreeing on it? Or is that too “planned out”?

How about just letting each other know what you’re comfortable with and both of you accepting what happens? Trust that the love is there.

8. For the love of humanity, don’t try to change your partner.

So you’ve found your perfect partner! Woohoo! Congrats!

But four months down the road you realize you’re your perfect partner is not so perfect- especially when you move in together.

Remember that if you want your partner to change, it is probably not going to happen. Some things, like bad manners, are changeable with a nice conversation about polite table manners. But other things, like temperament or social status might not be so easy.

Bottom line is that you shouldn’t think you can change your partner to be exactly what you want him or her to be.

Communication is important, but it doesn’t mean he or she will change just because you don’t like something. If your partner is annoying, lacks basic hygiene, or belittles you in front of his friends, certainly state your issue, but don’t expect change because he might be perfectly fine with himself. If he is, you might have to cut ties and move it along.

Relationships take some work, patience, and a good amount of love. Rough patches will come and that’s alright. Work through them. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and life as you do.

Here’s to awesome relationships!!
Jon Eborn

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The Five Elements of Flawless Customer Experience 6

The Five Elements of Flawless Customer Experience

Providing a flawless customer experience is the ultimate goal for any business.

There’s a lot that goes into creating a customer experience that keeps your clients coming back for more. In fact, there’s so much involved that it can almost seem overwhelming.

However, providing a flawless customer experience becomes much easier when you approach the task through these five distinct elements:

Time
Understanding
Ownership of Emotions
The Unexpected
Follow-Through

Time

When it comes to your customers’ satisfaction, time is essential. Think of how a great experience at a new restaurant quickly sours if you’re left waiting for your food to arrive. Think of how your excitement over a great department store sale turns into frustration as you stand in line for what seems like hours.

Time is your most valuable resource and it is up to you to make sure you’re using your customers’ time wisely.

This is why restaurants have comfortable waiting areas with drinks and appetizers, or why airports have lounges with restaurants, shops, and even bars.

If your customers are being forced to wait for a service, make them feel as if their time spent is not wasted. The more positive drivers you offer customers, the less likely they are to grow dissatisfied with their experience.

Think of how you can implement this in your own business. Are there places where you can help fill customers’ time? Are there places where technology can be used to cut down on the time it takes to complete a task? Remember, it’s the customers’ time that should be valued, not your own.

Understanding

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You must understand what your customers want, when they want it, and how.

While this may seem daunting, getting a better understanding of your customers doesn’t take millions of dollars, complex data analytics, and a degree in psychology. Instead, all it takes is a simple look. Watch their process, engage with them, ask them questions, and listen to them.  

How are customers interacting with your product? What’s the first thing they do when they enter your store? What’s the last thing they do before they leave? How long are they spending in each department? Do you notice anything that hampers their experience?

Take a look at your competitors. How are your potential customers interacting with them? What does this business offer that you don’t or vice versa? What is your, as Harvard Business School professor Clayton M. Christensen says, “job to be done?” What are your customers hiring your product or service to accomplish? Understand why your users are turning to your products.

Ownership of Emotions

Many companies have already taken hold of their customers’ emotions, though cynically. Subliminal advertising is a key example. However, the ownership of emotions does not have to be cynical. When used correctly, it can be the “holy grail” for companies.

Owning emotions begins with the aforementioned ability to understand. When you truly understand a customer’s choices and then act to make the experience better, you’re building a relationship of trust. That trust is the foundation of emotional ownership.

One way to build this trust is to reduce the “emotional” noise that surrounds your customers. Let them know that, even on their worst day, your business or product is there for them and that it will be a constant in their lives.

Think of restaurants and the long wait times you have to endure when they’re busy. Think of how angry—or “hangry”—you feel as you stand around, waiting for your table, and listening to your stomach growl. However, think of how some restaurants are able to reduce that emotional noise by serving you finger foods and drinks as you wait.

Also, seek to understand what emotionally motivates your customers.

Why should they be motivated to visit your store or use your product? To feel confident? Free? Unique? Secure? Successful? Research shows that all human beings are motivated by one of those factors.

The Unexpected

Experiences become stronger and more memorable when they’re accompanied by an element of surprise. Surprise can be addictive, which will only keep your customers coming back for more.

Think about mailing your customers or clients small packages with gifts and swag. Everyone loves to get mail and everyone loves free stuff, especially when it’s least expected.

A surprise doesn’t have to be a huge flash mob (though it could be!). Hand out snacks at your store. Is it a cold day? Give your customers hot chocolate or warm punch. Is it a client’s birthday? Send a card! Even a small note of thanks for a customer’s business is a nice little surprise.

The most important thing to remember: simply be sincere and don’t become predictable. Chocolates on hotel pillows were once a great surprise for guests. However, now that their wow-factor has faded, hotels are continuously trying to get back to the “unexpected.”

Follow-Through

You’ve made promises and established goals. The only thing that’s left is to follow through on them. This starts with creating your mission statement, one that you, your employees, and your customers can commit to it. This will define your customer experience.

Your mission statement must promise to impact yourself/your business, the community, or the world. It may commit to impacting one, or all three. However, whatever it promises, you must follow through on. Your customers’ trust, and thus their experience, depends on it.

More about these five elements can be discovered in Unforgettable: Designing Customer Experiences that Stick, to be published in 2018.

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Kyle H. David has made a career in technology and entrepreneurship for nearly 20 years. In 2001, he formed The Kyle David Group, now KDG. Over the past 16 years, KDG has grown at a rapid pace, attracting clients ranging from the United States Senate to major financial institutions, international nonprofits, and Division I universities.