Let Go of What You Cling To 57

Let Go of What You Cling To

This is a guest post by Jon Eborn.

We don’t really like to lose the things we love, do we? I sort of like clinging to things that make me smile. I clung to a lot of material possessions for years while my spiritual state grew weary, stale, and weak. Attaching your heart to things with a certain type of expectation can certainly set you up for struggle and disappointment.

Over the years I have learned that clinginess in any form comes from insecurity. We cling to our money because we fear losing it. We cling to our partners because we fear losing them. We cling to our social status because we fear being unimportant.

I’m sure you have heard the saying by Richard Bach, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.”

What this means is letting go of attachments to people will set them free and it will set you free at the same time. Surrendering your personal expectations or demands will help you to live in a peaceful state of mind. It is when you clamp onto a person with expectations that you set yourself up for struggle and disappointment.

This is where meditation comes into play for me. If I make the time to meditate, I find clinginess and desires lessening. I find it easier to detach from people and things. I find my days are filled with more clarity, peace, and wisdom.

I love this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

Can we really let go of our insecurities, anxiety, people, and possessions? Can we really live each day with immense peace permeating our entire being?

I do believe we can and meditation and silence is key.

Take some time each day to just get quiet with yourself. You can do this when you wake up, sit out on the porch, find a cozy spot in your home, go into nature, or wherever you feel comfortable and it is quiet. Feeling comfortable with zero noise will suit you well. So many people find it difficult to just sit still for one minute and enjoy that minute of life. They are so busy thinking about the past and the future that the present escapes them.

Allot a certain amount of time each day for meditation. Start with 5 or 10 minutes and increase the time as you wish. During your time of meditation, focus on your inhale and exhale and completely relax your body. You want to slow down and gain control over your thought life. If a thought comes, acknowledge it and then release it.

As you grow in your meditation practice, you will feel less stressed and less inclined to attach or cling to people or things. You will feel peaceful and joyful just because you are alive and not because you have this or that.

Surrender the things that you cling to. Release the attachment. Live for the present moment and smile more often. Life is amazing and you can completely enjoy it!
-Jon Eborn

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How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business 6

How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business

Perfection in your work is amazing – but perfectionism is a trait that can prevent you getting anything done.

If you find that you frequently miss deadlines, alienate your teammates, or develop stress symptoms as a result of your fear of less-than-perfect, it is likely a good idea to recalibrate your efforts.

This harmful breed of perfectionism is known as maladaptive perfectionism. It’s a problem because pushing yourself to reach unattainable results is a lose-lose situation.

Whether it is time limitations, restricted resources, or your own physical limits that hold you back, continuing to strive for perfect work when the conditions aren’t right will harm the work and will harm you.

But how can you temper your perfectionism without compromising your standards? As it happens, there are plenty of ways that have been scientifically demonstrated to be effective.

In Brazil, for example, researchers have shown that using visualization techniques to put your worries into perspective can help you to form a more realistic strategy to proceed. When you catch yourself stressing over a detail or panicking over a deadline, put a couple of minutes aside to sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of everything that’s going right with your project, and everything that’s going wrong. This way you will get a more objective idea of what you’ve achieved and what is still possible.

Perfectionism also has a social aspect.

This has become acuter with the rise of social media since we are bombarded with constant reminders of just how well our friends and rivals appear to be getting on. You may find you have a particular friend (or more than one!) who loses their social filter when they get online and has a tendency to leave unasked-for and negative ‘feedback’ on anything you share.

Social media is not reality. If you find yourself competing with the heavily-mediated expectations that come with life on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, then do yourself a favor and simply log off.

Even a one-month social media detox can help you get a little more of that precious ‘perspective’ that perfectionists so dearly need.

But perhaps the most valuable lesson at all is to learn to embrace flaws and mistakes.

The world is not perfect; even nature has its glitches and shortfalls. Deliberately integrated into your work, through clever design or just through learning from your mistakes, imperfection can make what you do more resonant and more beautiful.

The Japanese have a name for this: wabi-sabi. Learn to enjoy that which you cannot control, and the world will become a less intimidating place.

Sounds like a good place to start? You’ll find nine great tips on how to make the most of your perfectionism in this new visual guide from Saving Spot.