A Guide to Self-Healing: 10 Steps to Loving Yourself Again

a guide to self-healing and loving yourself

I bet there’s a lot going on in your life right now. There may be dozens of things to do every day, a new job, relationship, maybe a bad thing happened recently, or there’s something new you have to invest time in.

No matter what it is, people always find a way to make themselves look and sound busy, even if they aren’t. But as a result, they do something much worse – they say no to their true desires and emotions, reject the power of self-healing and rarely find time for themselves to contemplate and reach a state of peace.

I often notice more and more people around me neglecting themselves because of something else. And that’s a terrible thing to do.

I’m describing the big picture here. It could be about anyone – of any age, status, social group and so on. It may be a really busy person, as well as one that has a lot of free time. It may be a peaceful and happy one, or a stressed and negative one.

At some point we stopped taking care of ourselves. And because of that everything else gets ruined – relationships, mood, attitude towards life, motivation, level of happiness, a desire to do new things, etc.

We forget to ask ourselves if a certain thing is okay with us, we stop taking chances and looking for ways to improve, we stop doing things for ourselves, we stop trying to reach our goals and neglect our dreams. In other words, we say no to self-healing and self-love.

Instead, we do the opposite. We say things we don’t mean, we do things we don’t enjoy, we live by someone else’s standards and we follow the path society thinks is the right one.

Almost every problem we have in our life comes from discontent and most often with not being okay with who we are.

But we can never move on and have good relationships with other people if we don’t fix the one we have with ourselves first.

If you’ve decided to become a happy person and have embraced the joy of life and the things you’re thankful for, you will also need to accept yourself for who you are. It’s an inevitable part of your journey.

So here’s what you can do to practice self-healing and start loving yourself again.

Self-Healing Techniques to Help You Fix Your Relationship with Yourself

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
Stacey Charter

The solution to healing yourself lies in simplicity. I’ve listed some easy ways to start taking care of yourself again and live the life you deserve.

It’s not that we don’t know the following things… it’s just that with everything else going on we keep them in the background. And we need to be constantly reminded of them.

So here is a simple guide to the easy steps (in no particular order) that can help you with self-healing:

Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly quote

1. Accept yourself.

Most often the problem is that we don’t accept the person we are now. However, we have many other versions of the person we want to be, and we occasionally think of the person we used to be. That makes things even worse as we’re concentrating on unreal situations and thus lower our opinion of ourselves as we will never answer the expectations we have for the future us.

So let’s take a moment every now and then to accept ourselves for who we are. With our good and bad sides, with our past failures and mistakes. Let’s understand that this is exactly who we need to be at this moment and we are perfect.

Only then can we aim to achieve more and become another version of ourselves. Probably a better one. And then accept it again.

Related: How to Feel Good About Yourself

2. Don’t give up on what’s important to you.

Big dreams take time to come true. But if we stay motivated, have a definite desire and make an effort every day, they eventually become reality.

Unfortunately, we give up on them long before that moment has come. And then we feel disappointed of ourselves, we become full of regrets and will always think “What could it be like if we had kept working on our goal and achieved it?”. And that worsens the relationship we have with ourselves.

I urge you to keep what’s important to you. To cherish your goals, dreams and desires and spend time, energy and effort on them every now and then. Even if you don’t make big progress, you’re staying true to yourself and practicing self-healing.

Related: How to Accomplish Goals Faster Than You Can Imagine

3. Forgive yourself.

You may have failed. It may be you who caused something bad to happen, broke someone’s heart and left something you wanted incomplete. But living with the guilt, with that awful feeling of having made a mistake, is just harmful to your soul.

I’ve always said that one of the best qualities someone can acquire is the ability to easily forgive people no matter what they’ve done. It’s really hard, but this way you’re not only letting them live in peace, but also letting go of what has happened and moving on without the burden of the past.

The same applies to you when you’ve done something wrong. Don’t carry that emotional baggage with you in your future. There is just no point. That will only prevent you from living happily.

Forgiving yourself means being free from the regrets and disappointment that go along with your past mistakes. It means turning over a new leaf, giving yourself a chance to show the world how great you are and receiving the opportunity to do remarkable things with your life.

4. Don’t try to impress others.

I think everyone needs to see that for himself, but the sooner you realize it, the better. I’m talking about what other people think of you, whether they like you or not, and answering their expectations.

All that is a lost cause. You can spend years trying to make everyone like you and even when you become the perfect version of what society wants, there will still be a part of it that won’t approve you.

It’s just that there are so many people out there and everyone is completely unique, with his our understanding of the world. So stop trying to impress them and do what you like instead. Wear what you think looks good on you, behave the way you want and try to impress yourself only by being happier.

Related: How to Let Go of The Need for Approval to Start Thriving

5. Listen to yourself.

That’s a bit similar to the previous item because we often find other people’s opinion of us to be more important than our own. And then our actions are a result of it.

That is a wrong way to live life and I think it would be much better if we listened to ourselves more often. That’s a wonderful self-healing process.

6. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t be too harsh! If you have failed, it’s okay. Accept it and move on.

If something hasn’t turned out the way you expected, it’s okay and probably wasn’t even under your control.

If you’ve cheated on your diet, just call it a day and make it a reward for what you’ve already achieved.

If you’ve disappointed yourself, get over it. You’ll do better next time.

Being kind to yourself is as important as forgiving. They are both processes that define what the relationship with your true self will be. And things will be brighter in the future if you make it a good one.

Related: 10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

7. Trust yourself.

Make and keep the promises you make to yourself.

Losing trust in yourself usually occurs after failing in developing a new habit many times, procrastinating or not doing something important to you. You realize it’s all your fault because no outer factors play any role here.

You start criticizing yourself, lowering your self-esteem and lacking motivation to try new things because you think you’ll fail again.

Then it’s time to regain that trust and build the self-healing skill of turning each failure into a success.

You need to stop listening to the critical voice in your head for a start. It’s not right simply because it blames you for your failures, whereas they are just external events showing that your system is wrong. The solution is to let past mistakes go and try again another way. Success is just around the corner.

8. Understand yourself.

Try to figure out the ‘why’ behind everything. Why you do what you do is an important thing to know so that you get to know yourself better.

Notice your thoughts and follow them. Analyze your desires and needs. Try to understand your behavior and then you’ll be able to be in harmony with it.

9. Appreciate yourself.

Be grateful for who you are. It took you a lot of time, hardships and experience to come to where you are. So appreciate your efforts and enjoy the person you’ve become.

10. Love yourself.

Simply love yourself. You choose whether you’ll always be wishing you were someone else and trying to hide your true nature, or rejoice it and make the best of it.

So that’s how you practice self-healing in daily life and learn to feel worthy again.

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How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money

How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money - Interview with R.J. Weiss from TheWaystoWealth.com

This is an interview-style post with R.J. Weiss from The Ways to Wealth.

Hey R.J. What’s your background and what do you do?

I blog about all things personal finance at The Ways to Wealth.

Before I went full-time into blogging, I spent ten years in the financial services industry. Specifically, helping families buy the right type of life insurance.

During my time with a full-time job, I’ve always had different side hustles going on. From freelance writing, Amazon FBA, conversion rate optimization, to website design — there were many projects I pursued outside of work.

How did you start your career in finance?

I got started in finance straight out of college working for my the family insurance business. As I love the financial planning side of things, I choose to specialize in life insurance planning. This led me down the path to obtaining the CFP® Certification.

What made you start blogging?

The Ways to Wealth, which I started in 2016, has been my 5th blog.

The others mostly fizzled out most due to a lack of interest. But, in 2009 I started a personal finance blog called GenYWealth.com (no longer around) that had some success.

The idea GenYwealth.com was to write about what I was learning about studying to take the CFP®. The blog was, by all means, a success. I was able to gain valuable knowledge, pass the CFP® exam, earn some extra money and build up a good community.

I then took this knowledge and started a business blog, which allowed the insurance agency I was working for to generate leads.

I started The Ways to Wealth because my passion is personal finance–from investing to travel hacking, I love the challenge of optimizing my finances.

How was The Ways to Wealth born?

I didn’t have much of a plan for starting The Ways to Wealth when I purchased the domain name.

I was actually thinking it would be a niche site, which was inspired by Pat Flynn’s niche site duel. Then, I came across the income reports of Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and wisely changed direction to a more traditional blog.

This change came about 6-months after starting to blog.  I did a timeline of the site in one of my income reports.

What worked best when trying to grow the site?

I had a decent knowledge of SEO. So at first, I started growing the site with email outreach. One of the first posts I had about best investing books of all time, had about 15 links to it.

This was nice to start with but was quite slow to build up, as it can take a while to earn Google’s trust.

The big turning point came when I started to understand Pinterest. I spent a few frustrating weeks on the platform, then it finally started paying dividends.

I went from about 100 sessions a day to 1,000, which was huge for me at the time.

How did you get to 3 million monthly viewers on Pinterest?

the ways to wealth pinterest 3 million monthly views

I lay out my Pinterest strategy here. But at the core the idea is to:

1) Write high-quality content that Pinners want to click through, read, and share.

2) Pin to my own and high-quality group boards, with a keyword-rich description.

3) Continue to Pin my best pins across my own boards/group boards, ruthlessly eliminating Pins that don’t perform well.

One thing to keep in mind is impressions don’t mean much on Pinterest. What counts are clicks to your website. So, you want to design not for impressions but clicks.

What aspects of the online business are you outsourcing or automating and how?

The first thing I outsourced was Pinterest design. I’ll design about 30-40 pins a month, so this was big time saver for me.

Of course, it took some work to get going. At first, I hired 5 or so people on Fiverr. I found one decent designer but the work quality deteriorated over time.

I then went to Upwork and posted a job for a  graphic designer. I found a great team down in Argentina, who I’m very happy with.

I’m currently experimenting with working with a ghostwriter. A few of my latest posts have been transcribed from my recording, with the ghostwriter making sense of it all.

I can compile about 3 posts in 90 minutes, then take another 90 or so minutes to prepare them. Saving me around 3-4 hours per post this way.

What’s your main income stream and why do you think it works for you?

My main source of income for the blog is affiliate revenue. It works because the partners I do have are high-quality businesses, who deliver value and solve real problems. This makes it easy to naturally link to such a partner.

When did you start making more than $10K/month and what was the turning point?

My first month over $10K was in January of 2018. In December of 2017, income was around $3,000 and in July of 2017 around $500. So, it was definitely a jump.

What happened then in January?

First, personal finance is at its peak interest in January.

Second, I had multiple Pins go viral.

Third, in November I started driving traffic via Facebook to the site. So, in January I could take campaigns I’d been fine-tuning for a few weeks and scale them.

How do you balance work and family life?

I have a routine I stick to Monday through Friday.

When inside of my designated working hours, I work. When outside of these hours, I’m not.

This is a lot easier said than done. But the thing important for me is not to take work everywhere I go. This means I don’t have any apps on my phone that are work-related (email, analytics, etc..)

What are you 3 best finance tips for newbies?

  • Focus on your savings rate. How much you save is the most important decision you’ll make.
  • Small incremental improvements add up over time. My favorite example is increasing your savings rate 1% every quarter, means you’ll be saving 20% of your income in just 5 years.
  • Study happiness. Become a student on how to increase your level of happiness. The natural result is you’ll want less overtime, making the game of personal finance a lot easier to win.

What books, blogs or podcasts help you stay motivated along the way of growing an online business?

I read a fair amount to keep fresh ideas in my head.

My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show.

Two blogs I enjoy reading are:

Farnam Street
Barking up the Wrong Tree

And as far as books. I try to read one a week. A few books I would recommend to online entrepreneurs would be:

Deep Work by Cal Newport
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Pin this post if you enjoyed the interview.

Check out my interview with R.J. from TheWaystoWealth to see how he entered the finance niche, started making money blogging, began bringing traffic from Pinterest and monetizing it with affiliate marketing, and is now making $10,000/month from his online business. #blogger #interview #blogtraffic #incomeideas #income