This is a guest post by Antonio Tooley – a marketing specialist and a blogger. He loves writing about business, SMM, education and productivity. He’s also crazy about riding his bike and bumping into new people (when he’s on foot). He will be happy to meet you on Facebook and Twitter.
Are you really passionate about a business idea?
Who cares about planning; you already have what it takes. Just invest everything you’ve saved so far and hope for the best. If this turns out as a disaster and you go bankrupt, well… at least you’ll be able to say “I tried.”
First, let’s hear the sound of reason. Lauren Roberts, a member of the team at EduGeeksClub, explains that planning is an inevitable aspect of a successful business startup: “You can’t do anything without it. Despite what many people think, business is not an adventure. It’s a process of diligent planning, market analysis, evaluation of the needs of your target audience, and smart innovating. Passion is a big part of it, but it has to go together with planning.”
That’s what experts say, and everyone knows that experts are boring. Well, you can start a business journey that would surely lead to a disaster. At least it will be fun. Here is how you can go against the laws of business logic!
How Not to Start and Run a Business
1. Quit your relationship, it’s time to devote your life to work.
You don’t want your partner to be an obstacle on your way to success, do you?
You need to stand on your own two feet and do this completely on your own. Cut your relationships and friendships; it’s time to become a cold, lonely businessman. You’ll enjoy your money alone, too.
2. Forget about the planning part.
It’s a waste of time. Just do everything you need to start the business and you’ll learn how to manage it as you go with the flow. Who needs a business plan and a pre-set budget? Planning is boring and it drains the adventure out of your business.
3. Don’t hire anyone. You can do this on your own.
Do you know what Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, said? “If you can’t feed a team with two pizzas, it’s too large.”
Don’t even think about hiring business planners, marketing experts, professional writers, website developers, graphic designers, or anyone else. You can do everything by yourself, so you won’t have to share those pizzas.
4. Forget about personal development. It’s all about your business now.
You’re allowed to have breaks only when you sleep. And yes, you should definitely deprive yourself from sleep.
When you want to start a successful business, you’re only allowed to think about work. Forget about that precious me-time; you don’t have time for that.
Get up early and go to bed very late. Don’t try to eat healthy because you need something more than a salad to keep you going and you have zero time for cooking. If you notice that your mind is wandering around and you think you need a break, snap out of that state and continue working.
5. Be a perfectionist.
Jack Dorsey, co-founder of Twitter, said it all: “Make every detail perfect and limit the number of details to perfect.”
If we’re being literal with the interpretation of that quote, it means that you should become a perfectionist. If a particular poster, marketing material, or social media status is less than perfect, just freak out, yell at some people, and bring everything to perfection.
6. Be an asshole.
There’s no such thing as a nice businessman, you know? You have to be cold, distant, and rude. You can’t be a sunny person when you’re dealing with tough decisions every single day. You can feel free to yell at people, skip the tips at restaurants, and treat everyone like you’re the king.
7. If you hire employees, stress them out to the very limits.
You hired someone to do the marketing part for your business? Is that person only responsible for checking social media all day long, producing new promotional content, and boosting the online reputation of your business in every possible way? That’s not enough.
If you’re paying someone, you need to get more work in return for that money. Instruct that person to take care of the accounting, supplies, and customer care. They can also be responsible for your meals. Someone needs to bring you that coffee, too.
8. Don’t care about the customers’ satisfaction.
Someone is not happy with your product/service? Who cares? You already got their money, so they can do whatever they want from that point on.
9. Don’t waste time to explore the competition.
You have your own ideas and they are enough to keep you going. Just stick with the initial goal you had in mind.
If someone else is already providing such products and services on the market, who cares? They have their customers and you’ll have your own. Keep living in your little bubble and don’t waste time bothering with the competition.
10. Lose that passion.
Of course you start a business with passion, but you have to abandon that spirit as you make progress. There is no place for idealism in business; it’s all about being cold and calculating. Let’s put it in simple words: it’s all about the money.
Related: The Only 10 Ways to Become Rich
Did you follow the 10 steps listed above? Congratulations! Now, it’s time to freak out! You just started a business with zero chances for success. Go crazy, stress out even more, give up on all ideas you once had, and get a safe office job that won’t pay the bills, but at least will keep you away from risks.
Or, you can do everything opposite to those steps and start a business that has actual chances for progress. The decision is yours.
Full-time freelance writer. Lifestyle designer.
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