Stop Being Shy and Increase Confidence Today in These 3 Ways

how to stop being shy and increase confidence - let's reach success

I believe that no matter where you came from, no matter how you look and what you do, and no matter how many times you’ve failed or what your personality is, you can learn how to stop being shy, build self-esteem and thus become confident in yourself.

You can do that yourself, without any support or the help of experts.

And once you do that, you can achieve whatever you want in any area of life – you can get a good job and excel in it, find a partner and start a healthy relationship, get in shape, be able to approach strangers without any shyness, change your habits, appearance and attitude.

As a result, others will start looking at you with fresh eyes, new opportunities will come your way, your opinion will be heard, you’ll be less shy, etc.

And that’s the very first step of the process of building self-confidence and overcoming shyness – realizing that you deserve it as much as anyone else, understanding that there are steps to take and small things you can do to start increasing your self-esteem today, and most importantly – believing you can do it and taking the decision to become a confident individual.

Yes, things like body language, just telling yourself you’re confident, pretending to be so, and so on, help. But anyone hardly gives them a chance and tries them more than once.

If you still haven’t found your way, but are dying to let the confidence within out and stop being shy once and for all, then check out the tips I’m offering here:

3 Steps to Take to Increase Confidence, Stop Being Shy and Feel Good About Yourself

1. Look people in the eyes.

look people in the eys to stop being shy

Believe it or not, that can be the one thing you can learn to do that will help you overcome social anxiety and thus change your whole life.

So many people can’t handle this, feel so uncomfortable around people (strangers or not) that they walk with their head down just not to meet their eyes.

And if you think about it, that’s ridiculous. But it’s a fear too many people share.

It’s connected to insecurity – thinking you’re not good enough and knowing others will start judging you. That’s why you prefer to avoid any contact and attention.

But life goes on, and it passes the passive people by. You can’t go on like that.

I used to be like that some time ago.

But then, while trying to change other things in myself and realizing that there will always be someone to judge me no matter what, I understood that their opinion doesn’t really matter.

Also, you can never know how unsure of themselves others are. Most are just not showing it.

What helped me overcome such shyness and insecurity the most was becoming aware of something – I had figured my goals out, knew exactly what I wanted and was doing something about it (trying to turn my passion into a career, getting fit, making some changes to my attitude towards life, etc.).

And that gave me a confidence boost – I felt good about myself and realized that even if people don’t like me, judge me, say stuff about me, I’d still be okay with who I am and where I’m heading.

And that was enough to let me walk with my head up, stop being shy, and be able to look people in the eyes for as long as I wanted (not too long, of course, as it gets creepy).

So give this a try.

Start with accepting yourself. Know that you’re the best version of yourself in this very moment, but can always do something to improve your future self. This way you’ll feel comfortable in your own skin.

Then, start practicing. Look one person in the eyes for longer every day.

It may feel awful, but just trust yourself and do it. Don’t think too much. No one will even notice.

But soon you’ll be able to do it while walking on the street. And, believe me, it’s an awesome feeling to walk around being okay with who you are and not keeping your head down scared to look when you’re alone and a group of 10 cool people passes you by.

And the good news is that this will make you more and more confident and you’ll stop being shy and start seeing improvement in every other area of your life too.

Related: My 10 Best Confidence Habits

2. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations.

get better at life management - let's reach success

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
Brian Tracy

Comfort is the enemy of achieving more, improving yourself and moving on.

Your comfort zone feels great – I know – but nothing new or exciting will ever happen there.

Here’s what this post on EliteDaily says about that:

“One of the best ways to grow and experience what life can offer is to try something new. But for many of us, “new” is unfamiliar and unfamiliar is uncomfortable. So, we willingly trap ourselves in the incapacitating cage of a monotonous nine-to-five grind.

We become disillusioned as our boring days turn to boring nights. When things become routine, our expectations drop. We no longer expect to live bold, exciting lives. We no longer look forward to our futures because we’ve spent so much time in limbo, doing the same, mundane things every day.”

And here’s what Leo from Zen Habits advises:

“The way to master discomfort is to do it comfortably. That might sound contradictory, but it’s not. If you are afraid of discomfort, and you try to beat discomfort with a really gruelling activity, you will probably give up and fail, and go back to comfort.

So do it in small doses.

Watch yourself as you get a bit uncomfortable — are you starting to complain (internally)? Are you looking for ways to avoid it? Where do you turn to? What happens if you stay with it, and don’t do anything?”

Related: The Comfort Zone Conundrum

3. Try the Mirror Technique.

Last but not least, do this simple exercise that doesn’t require you to go out or meet any people.

The Mirror Technique is something that sounds silly if you hear it for the first time, but is a practice all successful people respect and have tried.

All you have to do is stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes (preferably with confidence) and say (out loud or in your mind) positive affirmations.

They must be optimistic sentences that have something to do with your abilities, believing in yourself, beating shyness and anxiety, unleashing your true potential and reaching success in life.

A great way to start and build the Mirror Technique as a habit is to include it in your morning routine. Doing it in the bathroom right after you brush your teeth will make it easier not to skip a morning.

Soon, you’ll feel comfortable doing it. You’ll get used to the way you look (as most people don’t feel okay with that), stop being shy, and behave naturally when communicating with others.

Try it. It helps.

If you still aren’t sure what the Mirror Technique is all about, check out this guide I wrote.
Also, there’s a mini eBook I created that is a collection of all the confidence hacks you need, and an audiobook with 100 affirmations for self-esteem.

So which of these 3 simple, but powerful ways to build self-confidence and stop being shy would you try today? What else has worked for you?

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How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money

How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money - Interview with R.J. Weiss from

This is an interview-style post with R.J. Weiss from The Ways to Wealth.

Hey R.J. What’s your background and what do you do?

I blog about all things personal finance at The Ways to Wealth.

Before I went full-time into blogging, I spent ten years in the financial services industry. Specifically, helping families buy the right type of life insurance.

During my time with a full-time job, I’ve always had different side hustles going on. From freelance writing, Amazon FBA, conversion rate optimization, to website design — there were many projects I pursued outside of work.

How did you start your career in finance?

I got started in finance straight out of college working for my the family insurance business. As I love the financial planning side of things, I choose to specialize in life insurance planning. This led me down the path to obtaining the CFP® Certification.

What made you start blogging?

The Ways to Wealth, which I started in 2016, has been my 5th blog.

The others mostly fizzled out most due to a lack of interest. But, in 2009 I started a personal finance blog called (no longer around) that had some success.

The idea was to write about what I was learning about studying to take the CFP®. The blog was, by all means, a success. I was able to gain valuable knowledge, pass the CFP® exam, earn some extra money and build up a good community.

I then took this knowledge and started a business blog, which allowed the insurance agency I was working for to generate leads.

I started The Ways to Wealth because my passion is personal finance–from investing to travel hacking, I love the challenge of optimizing my finances.

How was The Ways to Wealth born?

I didn’t have much of a plan for starting The Ways to Wealth when I purchased the domain name.

I was actually thinking it would be a niche site, which was inspired by Pat Flynn’s niche site duel. Then, I came across the income reports of Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and wisely changed direction to a more traditional blog.

This change came about 6-months after starting to blog.  I did a timeline of the site in one of my income reports.

What worked best when trying to grow the site?

I had a decent knowledge of SEO. So at first, I started growing the site with email outreach. One of the first posts I had about best investing books of all time, had about 15 links to it.

This was nice to start with but was quite slow to build up, as it can take a while to earn Google’s trust.

The big turning point came when I started to understand Pinterest. I spent a few frustrating weeks on the platform, then it finally started paying dividends.

I went from about 100 sessions a day to 1,000, which was huge for me at the time.

How did you get to 3 million monthly viewers on Pinterest?

the ways to wealth pinterest 3 million monthly views

I lay out my Pinterest strategy here. But at the core the idea is to:

1) Write high-quality content that Pinners want to click through, read, and share.

2) Pin to my own and high-quality group boards, with a keyword-rich description.

3) Continue to Pin my best pins across my own boards/group boards, ruthlessly eliminating Pins that don’t perform well.

One thing to keep in mind is impressions don’t mean much on Pinterest. What counts are clicks to your website. So, you want to design not for impressions but clicks.

What aspects of the online business are you outsourcing or automating and how?

The first thing I outsourced was Pinterest design. I’ll design about 30-40 pins a month, so this was big time saver for me.

Of course, it took some work to get going. At first, I hired 5 or so people on Fiverr. I found one decent designer but the work quality deteriorated over time.

I then went to Upwork and posted a job for a  graphic designer. I found a great team down in Argentina, who I’m very happy with.

I’m currently experimenting with working with a ghostwriter. A few of my latest posts have been transcribed from my recording, with the ghostwriter making sense of it all.

I can compile about 3 posts in 90 minutes, then take another 90 or so minutes to prepare them. Saving me around 3-4 hours per post this way.

What’s your main income stream and why do you think it works for you?

My main source of income for the blog is affiliate revenue. It works because the partners I do have are high-quality businesses, who deliver value and solve real problems. This makes it easy to naturally link to such a partner.

When did you start making more than $10K/month and what was the turning point?

My first month over $10K was in January of 2018. In December of 2017, income was around $3,000 and in July of 2017 around $500. So, it was definitely a jump.

What happened then in January?

First, personal finance is at its peak interest in January.

Second, I had multiple Pins go viral.

Third, in November I started driving traffic via Facebook to the site. So, in January I could take campaigns I’d been fine-tuning for a few weeks and scale them.

How do you balance work and family life?

I have a routine I stick to Monday through Friday.

When inside of my designated working hours, I work. When outside of these hours, I’m not.

This is a lot easier said than done. But the thing important for me is not to take work everywhere I go. This means I don’t have any apps on my phone that are work-related (email, analytics, etc..)

What are you 3 best finance tips for newbies?

  • Focus on your savings rate. How much you save is the most important decision you’ll make.
  • Small incremental improvements add up over time. My favorite example is increasing your savings rate 1% every quarter, means you’ll be saving 20% of your income in just 5 years.
  • Study happiness. Become a student on how to increase your level of happiness. The natural result is you’ll want less overtime, making the game of personal finance a lot easier to win.

What books, blogs or podcasts help you stay motivated along the way of growing an online business?

I read a fair amount to keep fresh ideas in my head.

My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show.

Two blogs I enjoy reading are:

Farnam Street
Barking up the Wrong Tree

And as far as books. I try to read one a week. A few books I would recommend to online entrepreneurs would be:

Deep Work by Cal Newport
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Pin this post if you enjoyed the interview.

Check out my interview with R.J. from TheWaystoWealth to see how he entered the finance niche, started making money blogging, began bringing traffic from Pinterest and monetizing it with affiliate marketing, and is now making $10,000/month from his online business. #blogger #interview #blogtraffic #incomeideas #income