LRS 094: How to Accept What We Can’t Change

How to Accept What We Can’t Change - the let's reach success podcast

On this episode of the Let’s Reach Success podcast I’ll talk about acceptance. Haven’t had a zen episode in some time now, so decided it would be great to talk about mindfulness and learning to live with what we can’t change in order to be happy.

One of the main reasons why there’s no balance in life is that most people are desperately trying to change everything. But life has limits, and when we don’t accept that, we end up being constantly disappointed and are taught lessons the hard way.

We often want to control everything.

But there are moments in life – be it when someone doesn’t love us back, we lose a loved one, a project at work fails, an accident happens, or else – when we need to be okay with things the way the are and move on. If not, we’ll be stuck, overthinking the situation, thinking how we could have done it differently, and blaming ourselves, other people or even life for things not working out. That’s a wrong approach and it makes us miserable.

The nature of life is to change, everything is impermanent and that’s how it’s supposed to be. 

It’s a comforting thought if you think about it as it guarantees that all bad moments are temporary and we just need to do what we do, and wait for better times to come.

But the problem comes when we hold onto something.

Be it a person, an object, who we are at this stage of life, what we’ve achieved before but can’t anymore, a place, or a mental state even. We are attached and want the same feeling of comfort, the same outcome. But something has changed, and it just can’t be that way. That’s when we need to gather our willpower and patience and be okay with things in order to keep living our life and be happy in the present.

That is a hard skill to develop if you’re somebody who’s stuck in the past, are negative, like blaming and judging, or always expect more.

I’ll now talk about acceptance a bit more, and hope that with the steps I’ll give you later on you’ll learn how to accept life and anything unexpected the moment it happens, how to be okay with change, and even find peace in the chaos around us.

Show Notes:

  • Why the way we live is a matter of choice, and what’s the right one [3:15]
  • How acceptance leads to powerful behavioral changes [5:21]
  • What is radical acceptance and how to avoid suffering with it [6:59]
  • 5 simple steps to being okay with things we can’t change [10:15]

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Signs You’re Stuck in a Rut (and How to Get Out)

signs you're stuck in a rut and what to do about it

Life has its ups and downs for all of us, but sometimes those downs creep up and take hold without us noticing. All of a sudden we look around and realize that we’ve found ourselves stuck deep in a rut. If you don’t know you’re in a rut, it can be very difficult to get out and this can lead to lasting negative effects on your health and happiness.

So how do you know when you’re in a rut?

And, more importantly, what can you do to get back on track?

One of the biggest red flags that demonstrate that you might be drifting listlessly through your own life is that you spend most of it daydreaming of being somewhere else.

It’s perfectly normal to spend some time in the office wishing you were lying on a beach instead, but if this is a permanent state of affairs, it’s a sign that you’re dangerously bored. Try adding some spontaneity into your life to liven things up a bit, at least until that next vacation.

If you don’t have an exotic location to jet off to, you need to make sure you still have some things to look forward to. If the only thing you have any anticipation for is getting into bed at the end of every day, then you’re definitely in a rut and need to start finding enjoyment in the little things in life, appreciating all of the things that come in between waking up and going back to bed again.

Social media is a great tool for lots of things in our lives. But it can also have a very damaging effect on your mental health because it’s easy to be fooled by the edited highlights of their lives people put on there. This can leave you feeling envious because the day to day reality of your life doesn’t look like what you assume everyone’s life is, so stop obsessing over other people and shift your focus back to yourself.

Doing this shouldn’t come at the expense of actually ever seeing other people or doing anything, of course. So if you’re finding that you are spending all of your time at home rather than getting out and seeing friends, or claiming that you don’t have time to do anything (when the reality is quite the opposite), these are all also signs that you need to think hard about changing your habits.

Nobody ever wants to get stuck in a rut, but in a world where work-life balances are getting ever more hard to maintain and technology is eating into face to face interactions, it’s easy to find yourself wondering where your life went. These tips from NetCredit will help you identify whether you are living yours in a rut and will help you start to find your way out again.

More tips on how to get unstuck:

How to Get Your Motivation Back
How to Boost Your Energy and Vitality for a Successful Life
How to Embrace Acceptance in Life
How to Deal with Indecisiveness