The following article is a guest post.
Breakups can hurt even for the strongest of beings. You are not alone in this.
For how could anyone not when one receives pain and rejection in return for love and care? You invest your shared dreams and aspirations and your partner shatters your edifice of dreams with few cruel words.
Surely your reaction is not out of place if you cry, shout or beat your head in frustration.
As much as it is difficult and seemingly impossible, you have to move on and get it over.
Why waste your youth, beauty and energy over someone who is totally not worth it? You are special and therefore you will treat yourself as one.
Part of you agrees with whatever I am saying now, but there is a great difference between agreeing and doing something. Surely it will be no less a herculean task to do all this on your own, therefore you need help from others. Talk to people who are close to you, or have a relationship advice chat with experts who will immediately understand your situation.
It takes real courage to move on in a situation like this but it is the best and only option available for you. You simply can’t crouch back into your depressed life, that’s no choice at all.
So, try the following tips that might prove instrumental in your recovery process.
1. Cry in order to fortify.
Many resist the urge to weep or cry. They are strong and hardy, they say. They won’t admit their weakness even to themselves.
Better to keep your pain welled up inside than to look weak? Not a good option.
For once you cry, you release your emotional energy and reduce your stress. So, you are not crying to succumb to weakness, you are actually doing it to fortify and strengthen yourself.
There is no shame in crying. Therefore, cry your heart out.
Cry alone, cry with your family or cry with one of your close friends.
Now off course, it does not mean to suggest that you can cry in-front of anyone and everyone, instead that it is no shame to reveal this vulnerable side of your personality in-front of your loved ones.
2. Don’t take out your breakup anger on your body.
When you go through such a shock, you start doing just the very things that you should absolutely refrain from.
You drink alcohol, you eat less and you miss a lot of sleep, you take out all your anger and frustration on your poor body.
Know that you are special and so is your body.
Once addicted to this relief-giving alcohol, it will be a problem of its own later. Miss the required nutrients and you will not function for your daily activities. Less sleep and you will be dull and lethargic for the whole day because sleeping soundly gives you a refreshing break from all your anxieties, and makes you ready for any sort of productive work.
3. Others’ support for your breakup retort.
Lock your door, draw your drapes and shut yourself from the outside world. That is how people mostly respond to their breakups. No surprise when the pain lingers for quite a while.
If you don’t want pain, don’t go after pain-inducing behaviors. Take control of your life.
Do the complete opposite of what most people would do. Instead of isolating yourself, surround yourself with your loved ones. Seek them out when you need them most. They will be more than happy to help you. They will advise you, scold you, pity you but they will get you back on your track.
Or if you think you need special care then have a relationship advice chat with experts.
4. Clean breakups.
How hard is it to check your ex’s Facebook account or see if he has updated anything on his Instagram even though you have vowed that you will forget him once and for all?
But just getting a peek on his online activity doesn’t count, does it?
The thing is we all make promises to ourselves and then we all fall short of those promises.
But once you have made a decision about a breakup, then that breakup should be clean. Unfriend him, un-follow him and delete his number. If he calls or try to contact in anyway, don’t respond.
Not only that, rid yourself of all the things that remind you of him. It will be very hard to get ahead, if you get stuck in your past memories along the way.
5. Breakups should not make you alone.
Just after the breakup it is helpful to grieve alone, but only for a little while. Don’t lock the door and shut yourself out from the outside world. Don’t deprive your friends of your company if they demand it.
Go have coffee, play any game and watch movies with them.
That way you won’t be grieving about how your life should have been different but actually be feeling grateful for the people who actually care about you.
6. Busy for even grieving.
Keep yourself busy.
Learn to cook different food, do your laundry or volunteer for any social cause, anything that prevents you from going back to your bed and grieve.
7. Exercise away your pain.
Who thinks of exercise when your whole world is upside down? Actually you should, because according to researches, exercise releases chemicals which reduce your stress and anxiety levels.
Additionally, exercise and workout will keep you in shape which will be a great boost for your self-esteem at a time when you need it the most.
8. Treat yourself.
Take some time for yourself; after all you are very special.
Buy some stuff for yourself, take leave from your work and go see a movie. This will all have a medicinal effect on you.
9. Pour out your emotions on paper.
Writing is also a great way to release your emotional energy. Keep a journal and pour out all your pain and anguish on the paper. When no-one is around, your journal could be your great companion.