How to Embrace Insecurity and Live the Life You Deserve 369

How to Embrace Insecurity and Live the Life You Deserve

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
John Allen Paulos

Most people spend their lives trying to reach financial stability, to feel safe at the place they live, to have a job they won’t get fired from, to have loyal friends, a faithful partner and so on.

These things are hard to find and even harder to keep, not to mention all the fears, doubts and inner fights we have while trying to do that.

The conclusion then is that security, if we assume we have it, is never certain and can be gone, which makes us realize that we never actually had it in the first place.
Because I’m sure you will agree that the money we have now can be gone tomorrow, the company we work for can go bankrupt, we can lose friends, realize that our relationship is fake or find the love somewhere else.

Let’s see what makes security pointless to worry about and not at all that important:

1. Everything in life is transient.

Many consider that a depressing and sad fact but it’s actually what should make us appreciate the present, this very moment and the things and people that are around us at this stage of our lives.

2. We don’t really own things.  

Never forget the fact that we are only temporary owners of the material things we have. We use them (our house; clothes; books; computer…) when we need them, they are supposed to play their role in our lives (to entertain us, help us with our job, make us feel comfortable…) and that’s all. And the moment we start getting too attached to them, we are in a trap.

3. What is secure is familiar and old.

We feel safe only around things and people we know, doing the tasks we’ve always been doing, having the same habits, living in the same environment and having the same old dreams and goals we want to reach one day (although that ‘one day’ scares us to death because it’s so distant and different from the comfort zone we’ve established for ourselves). All that makes us live either in our past or makes us afraid of the future and the big changes it will bring.

4. Feeling secure won’t make us grow and evolve.

Does a Minimalist Lifestyle Decrease Your Stress Levels?

It means staying in one place, not moving forward and not improving.

So instead of constantly worrying and looking for security and safety, let’s accept the fact that it’s a utopia, an illusion we love living in only because it prevents us from taking serious decisions, making changes, moving on and letting go.

And once we understand that, once we go out of our comfort zone, feel the emotional freedom and all the other benefits of living consciously and happily, we will be able to embrace insecurity.

Only then will everyone feel powerful enough not to get attached to things, not to feel devastated when he loses his job or doesn’t yet have the money for a nice place to live. Only then will he have the energy and mindset to grow spiritually and mentally, to appreciate everything, to actually feel love, success, happiness and inner peace.

Here are the benefits of insecurity in its deepest meaning:

  • living in the moment, not in the past;
  • letting go of regrets, fear, doubts and expectations;
  • becoming more confident, powerful and in control of your life;
  • emotional freedom;
  • enjoying life;
  • living at a higher level, where emotions, feelings and thoughts are stronger than objects, positions and places;
  • trying new things, meeting new people, welcoming new opportunities;
  • get better at school, work, your hobbies, with the projects and plans you have and in your relationships;
  • leaving your comfort zone (because we all know that life starts at the end of it).

Maybe you’ve noticed a few paradoxes.

For example, somehow insecurity means that we will have control of our life.

Now we consider it scary because it’s something unfamiliar but only when we feel it, have it and know how it works, do we become stronger, do we feel the inner power that tells us we can do anything we put our mind to. And, in the end, we come to the conclusion that insecurity is actually… security.

So if you, like many others, don’t feel satisfied with your life, if you think you are meant to be more, always strive for security but see that with every step you take, it gets further and further, then you are ready to embrace insecurity.

But take your time. This is one of the biggest and most important steps in your life.
So do it slowly and steadily.

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How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business 25

How to Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Business

Perfection in your work is amazing – but perfectionism is a trait that can prevent you getting anything done.

If you find that you frequently miss deadlines, alienate your teammates, or develop stress symptoms as a result of your fear of less-than-perfect, it is likely a good idea to recalibrate your efforts.

This harmful breed of perfectionism is known as maladaptive perfectionism. It’s a problem because pushing yourself to reach unattainable results is a lose-lose situation.

Whether it is time limitations, restricted resources, or your own physical limits that hold you back, continuing to strive for perfect work when the conditions aren’t right will harm the work and will harm you.

But how can you temper your perfectionism without compromising your standards? As it happens, there are plenty of ways that have been scientifically demonstrated to be effective.

In Brazil, for example, researchers have shown that using visualization techniques to put your worries into perspective can help you to form a more realistic strategy to proceed. When you catch yourself stressing over a detail or panicking over a deadline, put a couple of minutes aside to sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of everything that’s going right with your project, and everything that’s going wrong. This way you will get a more objective idea of what you’ve achieved and what is still possible.

Perfectionism also has a social aspect.

This has become acuter with the rise of social media since we are bombarded with constant reminders of just how well our friends and rivals appear to be getting on. You may find you have a particular friend (or more than one!) who loses their social filter when they get online and has a tendency to leave unasked-for and negative ‘feedback’ on anything you share.

Social media is not reality. If you find yourself competing with the heavily-mediated expectations that come with life on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, then do yourself a favor and simply log off.

Even a one-month social media detox can help you get a little more of that precious ‘perspective’ that perfectionists so dearly need.

But perhaps the most valuable lesson at all is to learn to embrace flaws and mistakes.

The world is not perfect; even nature has its glitches and shortfalls. Deliberately integrated into your work, through clever design or just through learning from your mistakes, imperfection can make what you do more resonant and more beautiful.

The Japanese have a name for this: wabi-sabi. Learn to enjoy that which you cannot control, and the world will become a less intimidating place.

Sounds like a good place to start? You’ll find nine great tips on how to make the most of your perfectionism in this new visual guide from Saving Spot.