How to Embrace Insecurity and Live the Life You Deserve

How to Embrace Insecurity and Live the Life You Deserve

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
John Allen Paulos

Most people spend their lives trying to reach financial stability, to feel safe at the place they live, to have a job they won’t get fired from, to have loyal friends, a faithful partner and so on.

These things are hard to find and even harder to keep, not to mention all the fears, doubts and inner fights we have while trying to do that.

The conclusion then is that security, if we assume we have it, is never certain and can be gone, which makes us realize that we never actually had it in the first place.
Because I’m sure you will agree that the money we have now can be gone tomorrow, the company we work for can go bankrupt, we can lose friends, realize that our relationship is fake or find the love somewhere else.

Let’s see what makes security pointless to worry about and not at all that important:

1. Everything in life is transient.

Many consider that a depressing and sad fact but it’s actually what should make us appreciate the present, this very moment and the things and people that are around us at this stage of our lives.

2. We don’t really own things.  

Never forget the fact that we are only temporary owners of the material things we have. We use them (our house; clothes; books; computer…) when we need them, they are supposed to play their role in our lives (to entertain us, help us with our job, make us feel comfortable…) and that’s all. And the moment we start getting too attached to them, we are in a trap.

3. What is secure is familiar and old.

We feel safe only around things and people we know, doing the tasks we’ve always been doing, having the same habits, living in the same environment and having the same old dreams and goals we want to reach one day (although that ‘one day’ scares us to death because it’s so distant and different from the comfort zone we’ve established for ourselves). All that makes us live either in our past or makes us afraid of the future and the big changes it will bring.

4. Feeling secure won’t make us grow and evolve.

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It means staying in one place, not moving forward and not improving.

So instead of constantly worrying and looking for security and safety, let’s accept the fact that it’s a utopia, an illusion we love living in only because it prevents us from taking serious decisions, making changes, moving on and letting go.

And once we understand that, once we go out of our comfort zone, feel the emotional freedom and all the other benefits of living consciously and happily, we will be able to embrace insecurity.

Only then will everyone feel powerful enough not to get attached to things, not to feel devastated when he loses his job or doesn’t yet have the money for a nice place to live. Only then will he have the energy and mindset to grow spiritually and mentally, to appreciate everything, to actually feel love, success, happiness and inner peace.

Here are the benefits of insecurity in its deepest meaning:

  • living in the moment, not in the past;
  • letting go of regrets, fear, doubts and expectations;
  • becoming more confident, powerful and in control of your life;
  • emotional freedom;
  • enjoying life;
  • living at a higher level, where emotions, feelings and thoughts are stronger than objects, positions and places;
  • trying new things, meeting new people, welcoming new opportunities;
  • get better at school, work, your hobbies, with the projects and plans you have and in your relationships;
  • leaving your comfort zone (because we all know that life starts at the end of it).

Maybe you’ve noticed a few paradoxes.

For example, somehow insecurity means that we will have control of our life.

Now we consider it scary because it’s something unfamiliar but only when we feel it, have it and know how it works, do we become stronger, do we feel the inner power that tells us we can do anything we put our mind to. And, in the end, we come to the conclusion that insecurity is actually… security.

So if you, like many others, don’t feel satisfied with your life, if you think you are meant to be more, always strive for security but see that with every step you take, it gets further and further, then you are ready to embrace insecurity.

But take your time. This is one of the biggest and most important steps in your life.
So do it slowly and steadily.

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How to Look and Sound More Confident

How to Look and Sound More Confident

We associate confident people with success. But does confidence lead to success, or does success lead to confidence?

It’s a bit of a chicken and egg scenario. But there is plenty of evidence to suggest that working on your confidence levels will indeed boost your achievements in the workplace.

The thing about confidence is that it works two ways.

On the one hand, exude confidence and your clients and colleagues will have confidence in you – self-belief is very reassuring to others!

In fact, for better or worse, the mere appearance of confidence can be more likely to get you a promotion than your actual ability! When you think of some of the dubious phonies who’ve leapfrogged you in the past, it kinda makes sense, right?

And on the other hand, confidence builds confidence within yourself. When you adopt the look and the sound of the self-assured, you begin to feel bolder on the inside. You take risks and put yourself forward for opportunities you might otherwise not have. You begin to work with clear, bold strokes rather than inching ahead in half-measures.

Great – so how to create that feeling? Well, in the long-term, you can use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to deal with the underlying causes of your indecisiveness and lack of confidence. But in the short run, getting the aforementioned look and sound of self-belief is a fairly simple matter of adjusting the way you speak, listen, and move.

If you’re particularly shy, try starting with your hands.

Keep them out of your pockets.

Burying your hands in your pockets instantly gives the (possibly correct) impression that you are nervous or uncertain.

And even the (hopefully incorrect) impression that you are dishonest or lazy. Keeping your palms open and faced upwards is a way of opening up to those around you and exuding trust.

Likewise, a firm handshake of around two-five seconds communicates warmth and self-assuredness. A limp handshake, on the other hand, might create the impression that you feel out of your depth. And an over-strong handshake always feels like the giver is trying to prove something!

The next steps are to work on your eye contact and the way that you intone your sentences.

This can be a bit much to think about when you’re struggling with what you actually want to say. Which is why it’s best to start with the other stuff first.

But take it one stage at a time and you can gradually build a confident manner that will start to perpetuate itself by making you feel strong on the inside. For a full guide to the remaining tweaks, you can make to get that feeling, run through this new infographic from Poundplace.

 

Build your confidence back up, and success will surely follow.

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Build your confidence back up, and success will surely follow. Here's an infographic on how to look and sound more confident: #confidence #selfesteem