6 Simple Ways to Experience the Thrill of Becoming Emotionally Independent

become emotionally independent

Last Updated: April 18, 2018

We all know the unpleasant feeling of being dependent on someone or something.

You remember all the times your parents gave you money for something, you needed to take the bus (and thus had to comply with its schedule), borrowed something from a friend and so on.

You felt uncomfortable and a little disappointed by the fact that you had to rely on others to survive your day.

Then, as you were growing up, you realized that you can do most things yourself. You gained knowledge, started a job, found your own place, increased your income and got out of debt, bought a car and everything you needed… and became independent.

Or at least you thought so.

You settled down and everything was looking great at that time. But then many thoughts started popping up in your head. Many unpleasant memories, unsaid words, feelings and emotions you didn’t enjoy, even people from the past.

It was all in your head, that’s for certain. But it became much more important and crucial and suddenly you couldn’t enjoy all the things you’ve accomplished and worked so hard for.

Maybe you abandoned your inner world because you were concentrating too much on the outer stuff – with its material objects, people, circumstances and primary needs. Suddenly, all that was inside started to affect what was outside and the balance was lost.

At that moment, you became emotionally dependent. Mentally dependent. And spiritually dependent.

And worse, you realized that you’ve always been that way.

Emotional dependence is a state of mind which we have all experienced at some point. It’s when your mind is full of uncertainty, you are indecisive, other people manipulate you and affect you in some way (usually negative), you let everyone treat you the way he wants and feel vulnerable, dependent, weak and confused.

It is often said that with all the things going on in the world today, we just can’t become fully independent. But there are some things to work on that can keep it to a minimum and let us be free and enjoy life.

Here’s your quick guide to emotional independence:

How to Become Emotionally Independent

Hunt Down Your Goals and Become Fearless Like a Lion

1. Accept yourself.

Stop denying who you are or who you were. It’s nice to have a great desire to improve yourself and become that new ‘you’, but first you have to get to know the one you have now.

Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses

2. Let go of the past.

In my opinion, one of the worst ways to live your life is to be stuck in your past.

To constantly get back to it, remember past events and people and to be full of regrets. Some people always think that they could have done better if things had been opposite. They wish they hadn’t done this, or said that.

It’s a vicious circle and once you’re in it, you forget to live your life and soon end up being a sad person with no joy and dreams. Please, don’t do that.

Here is what you need to do:

  • accept your past with all the failures, mistakes, wrong decisions and regrets;
  • let it go – there is no place for it in your bright future;
  • forget the unessential – have a minimalist approach to life, eliminate the non-essential things and set your mind free;
  • forgive others, forgive yourself, forgive life for all the bad circumstances it put you in (but also be thankful);
  • learn from it – draw a lesson from every mistake you’ve ever made.

Check out my book This Moment: How to let go of what was and will be so that you can find peace and contentment in the present moment.

3. Decide for yourself.

Living consciously and being emotionally independent requires making reasonable, logical decisions, and most importantly – ones you take on your own.

Stop relying on others to do things for you, or manipulate you only because they are more decisive, sociable or in control of the situation.

Define exactly what you want from life and don’t be afraid to say it out loud. You will also need to trust yourself and become more confident in what you say, do or think.

Think for yourself and even if you make mistakes, accept that and just try to do better next time. But don’t let others push you, change your mind and decide for yourself.

4. Don’t get too attached to people.

Everyone loves his family, kids, friends, pets and relatives, but some people tend to get too attached to others and that rarely ends well.

We do our best when we act as individuals and have our own point of view. So spare some time to analyze your relationships with the people in your life and decide whether you are too dependent on someone.

If you see the world through someone else’s eyes you most probably depend too much on them.

It’s better to expect less from others so that they won’t disappoint you, because that will hurt your feeling and won’t bring peace to your mind.

5. Take full responsibility.

How to Green up Your Morning Routine

This is something you’ll have to do one way or another if you are willing to reach success, happiness, mental stability and emotional independence.

It means that you are completely aware of your thoughts, actions and feelings and accept them as they are. Take responsibility for how you feel, because no matter what, you are the one who chose to feel that way.

Realize that you are the only one who is responsible for everything that has happened to you. You are in charge of what you say, how you look, how you react to things, how you feel and how you behave.

Understand that, take responsibility and move on to become emotionally independent. It will be much easier this way.

6. Accept judgement and criticism.

People love to talk about others and to point out their bad sides. They do it all the time. But how you are going to react is up to you.

Whatever you do, there will be someone to judge it. So don’t try to please everyone and answer people’s expectations. I know that every human being wants to be accepted by others and we feel good when they like us… but we are dependent on people’s opinion.

To start living a free and peaceful life, you need to stop yearning for attention and acceptance and to just do what you think is right.

It’s better to trust your intuition and heart rather than relying on what society thinks is right.

The best way to react to criticism is with understanding.

Try to put yourself in the position of the one judging you and who knows… maybe he has a point there and you are doing something wrong. Or by judging you, he is actually expressing how he feels inferior to you. Or maybe he has some issues and this is the only way he can let all the anger he keeps inside go.

Express compassion, be kind and show love. Most of the times this is all people need and the minute they receive it from someone, they give the same in return.

What about you? Do you consider yourself emotionally independent in some way?

Emotional independence will give us freedom, happiness and success. Here are my best tips (all simple and easy to follow) to learn how to become emotionally independent:

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How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money

How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money - Interview with R.J. Weiss from TheWaystoWealth.com

This is an interview-style post with R.J. Weiss from The Ways to Wealth.

Hey R.J. What’s your background and what do you do?

I blog about all things personal finance at The Ways to Wealth.

Before I went full-time into blogging, I spent ten years in the financial services industry. Specifically, helping families buy the right type of life insurance.

During my time with a full-time job, I’ve always had different side hustles going on. From freelance writing, Amazon FBA, conversion rate optimization, to website design — there were many projects I pursued outside of work.

How did you start your career in finance?

I got started in finance straight out of college working for my the family insurance business. As I love the financial planning side of things, I choose to specialize in life insurance planning. This led me down the path to obtaining the CFP® Certification.

What made you start blogging?

The Ways to Wealth, which I started in 2016, has been my 5th blog.

The others mostly fizzled out most due to a lack of interest. But, in 2009 I started a personal finance blog called GenYWealth.com (no longer around) that had some success.

The idea GenYwealth.com was to write about what I was learning about studying to take the CFP®. The blog was, by all means, a success. I was able to gain valuable knowledge, pass the CFP® exam, earn some extra money and build up a good community.

I then took this knowledge and started a business blog, which allowed the insurance agency I was working for to generate leads.

I started The Ways to Wealth because my passion is personal finance–from investing to travel hacking, I love the challenge of optimizing my finances.

How was The Ways to Wealth born?

I didn’t have much of a plan for starting The Ways to Wealth when I purchased the domain name.

I was actually thinking it would be a niche site, which was inspired by Pat Flynn’s niche site duel. Then, I came across the income reports of Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and wisely changed direction to a more traditional blog.

This change came about 6-months after starting to blog.  I did a timeline of the site in one of my income reports.

What worked best when trying to grow the site?

I had a decent knowledge of SEO. So at first, I started growing the site with email outreach. One of the first posts I had about best investing books of all time, had about 15 links to it.

This was nice to start with but was quite slow to build up, as it can take a while to earn Google’s trust.

The big turning point came when I started to understand Pinterest. I spent a few frustrating weeks on the platform, then it finally started paying dividends.

I went from about 100 sessions a day to 1,000, which was huge for me at the time.

How did you get to 3 million monthly viewers on Pinterest?

the ways to wealth pinterest 3 million monthly views

I lay out my Pinterest strategy here. But at the core the idea is to:

1) Write high-quality content that Pinners want to click through, read, and share.

2) Pin to my own and high-quality group boards, with a keyword-rich description.

3) Continue to Pin my best pins across my own boards/group boards, ruthlessly eliminating Pins that don’t perform well.

One thing to keep in mind is impressions don’t mean much on Pinterest. What counts are clicks to your website. So, you want to design not for impressions but clicks.

What aspects of the online business are you outsourcing or automating and how?

The first thing I outsourced was Pinterest design. I’ll design about 30-40 pins a month, so this was big time saver for me.

Of course, it took some work to get going. At first, I hired 5 or so people on Fiverr. I found one decent designer but the work quality deteriorated over time.

I then went to Upwork and posted a job for a  graphic designer. I found a great team down in Argentina, who I’m very happy with.

I’m currently experimenting with working with a ghostwriter. A few of my latest posts have been transcribed from my recording, with the ghostwriter making sense of it all.

I can compile about 3 posts in 90 minutes, then take another 90 or so minutes to prepare them. Saving me around 3-4 hours per post this way.

What’s your main income stream and why do you think it works for you?

My main source of income for the blog is affiliate revenue. It works because the partners I do have are high-quality businesses, who deliver value and solve real problems. This makes it easy to naturally link to such a partner.

When did you start making more than $10K/month and what was the turning point?

My first month over $10K was in January of 2018. In December of 2017, income was around $3,000 and in July of 2017 around $500. So, it was definitely a jump.

What happened then in January?

First, personal finance is at its peak interest in January.

Second, I had multiple Pins go viral.

Third, in November I started driving traffic via Facebook to the site. So, in January I could take campaigns I’d been fine-tuning for a few weeks and scale them.

How do you balance work and family life?

I have a routine I stick to Monday through Friday.

When inside of my designated working hours, I work. When outside of these hours, I’m not.

This is a lot easier said than done. But the thing important for me is not to take work everywhere I go. This means I don’t have any apps on my phone that are work-related (email, analytics, etc..)

What are you 3 best finance tips for newbies?

  • Focus on your savings rate. How much you save is the most important decision you’ll make.
  • Small incremental improvements add up over time. My favorite example is increasing your savings rate 1% every quarter, means you’ll be saving 20% of your income in just 5 years.
  • Study happiness. Become a student on how to increase your level of happiness. The natural result is you’ll want less overtime, making the game of personal finance a lot easier to win.

What books, blogs or podcasts help you stay motivated along the way of growing an online business?

I read a fair amount to keep fresh ideas in my head.

My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show.

Two blogs I enjoy reading are:

Farnam Street
Barking up the Wrong Tree

And as far as books. I try to read one a week. A few books I would recommend to online entrepreneurs would be:

Deep Work by Cal Newport
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Pin this post if you enjoyed the interview.

Check out my interview with R.J. from TheWaystoWealth to see how he entered the finance niche, started making money blogging, began bringing traffic from Pinterest and monetizing it with affiliate marketing, and is now making $10,000/month from his online business. #blogger #interview #blogtraffic #incomeideas #income