Should You Share Your Goals with Others or Keep Them to Yourself 263

keep your goals to yourself

Many people wonder whether they should tell their big goals and plans in life to others.

It depends, of course, but what I can say is how I handle this.

I choose not to tell others what I’m working on.

And there are some good reasons why I do this:

1. People jump to conclusions.

Once you share your ideas, even if it’s something you think might work and are just planning to do some day, people will start connecting you to it.

Now when they see you, they’ll be asking how it’s going.

That means too much pressure, considering you don’t really want them to know every single detail of the project, as it’s just not important to them.

2. They won’t really know what you’re talking about.

Whatever it is that you’re working on, whatever your big plan for the future is, whatever ways of making money you’ve found, it’s something you’ve researched, thought through, analyzed and this has been growing in your head for some time.

Mentioning it in front of others can’t even give them a vague idea of what you’re actually talking about.

So, if you ask me, it’s better left unsaid.

Digital nomads are the best example. They quit their jobs, leave everything behind, and go to another continent to work on something they’re passionate about. Which is great and works pretty fine if that’s your calling.

But for every other person in their lives, it’s just a sign of going crazy. Often people assume that these individuals don’t know what they want to do with their life and just chose to leave it behind and move to another place.

They pity them, worry about them, try to change their mind, and almost never actually try to understand them.

When, in fact, these people are following their dreams (like the story of Roc I shared a few days ago), doing what they love, making money from it, trying new stuff in life, having a direction and being in peace.

And these are all things the average person has never tried.

3. People will expect too much.

Try saying you want to make money online once, or that you’re planning on working a better job in a year, and if that doesn’t happen any time soon, or the amount of money or improvement isn’t impressive, people will consider you a failure.

And you may start feeling like one.

Which is awful and may make you give up.

But, actually, it all means that you haven’t found what really works yet, haven’t created a system, haven’t been patient enough.

Life-changing goals take time, a lot of effort, many sacrifices and working much harder that you’re used to.
And if you try to skip any of these, the results will come much later.

So for now, don’t share it with others. They will expect too much. And that will bring pressure in your life.

4. People judge.

People will judge you no matter what. We all know that.

Even if they like us, there will be a few that don’t approve, that disagree with what we say, think and do.

But when we start dreaming bigger, when people start seeing us changing, they start judging even more.
They criticize, want to know more, get involved in our goals, and take our energy.

They do it not because of us, but because they have their own issues. That shouldn’t be taken personally. But still, it’s unnecessary.

So you can save yourself and them unneeded worries and stress by just keeping your dreams to yourself for now.

5. They get jealous.

You’ve probably seen a really inspiring story somewhere on the Internet. About people who achieved a lot, became rich, made a dream of theirs a reality, fell in love and traveled the world together, or else.

It’s usually a beautiful story, with breath-taking pictures. And we smile in front of the screen and secretly wish we were like them.

And your scroll to the bottom and see the first comments. And they are awful.

These are the haters. What they say is usually meaningless, and the jealousy can be felt from afar.

After all, they are at the office working a job they hate and being average, while some people are not only happy, living the dream and doing what they love, but also famous because of that.

And the only thing they can do is leave a comment.

Sadly, these are also the comments that get most likes.
But that’s another story.

So the point is that people are jealous. And if they are in your surroundings, you’ll feel the negative energy. Which is something that can only make you feel bad, and maybe even feel sorry for others.

But if you look at it from another point of view, here’s what you’re doing:
You’re sharing your dream with your friends. Some of them are so dissatisfied with their lives and don’t want to see others being happy because this only reminds them of how powerless, weak, indecisive, average and lazy they are.

And instead of supporting you, they become more miserable, and thus make you feel bad.

Is all that necessary? Of course not.

6. They distract you from your goal.

Once they learn that you’re working on something, they’re interested.

They want to know more, to see your work, to know how it works.

They also say what they think about it. Start talking about what they’ve heard about others doing the same thing, and so on.

All that becomes a distraction.

And even if they are friendly and just curious, it becomes a burden for you as it takes your attention away.

And as we all know, our goal deserves all our attention. If we aren’t completely focused, we won’t get much done.

So these are the main reasons why I don’t share personal goals (especially big ones) with the people in my life.

What’s your approach?

See also:

Keeping quiet may help you achieve your goals
Keep your goals to yourself
Announcing your plans makes you less motivated to accomplish them
Rule #1: You do not talk about your goals

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9 Ways to Handle Change in Your Life [Infographic] 3

9 Ways to Handle Change in Your Life [Infographic]

When a big change happens in your life, it doesn’t have to be a negative change to have a huge impact on you.

Change causes uncertainty and our brains and bodies react to uncertainty by trying to protect us with the release of fight or flight chemicals and hormones.

The downside to this is that living with these for an extended time results in elevated heart rate and affects your digestion, immune systems and blood flow.

But there are ways you can regain control over your life even in the midst of big changes.

The first is to take a step back and reflect on what’s actually happening and what your involvement is, which will help you to understand and find perspective on the situation. Hopefully, this will enable you to find the opportunities that every change in your life brings, rather than obsessing over any short-term negative impacts.

It may also help you to allow yourself a transition period where you adjust to the changes. But with a firm deadline by which you expect to have moved on and settled into the new routine. Even if it doesn’t quite work out that way, it will still push you towards visualizing the end of the uncertainty, which will prepare you to make it happen sooner rather than later.

On a more basic level, you need to remember to look after yourself during this time of change and the related stresses.

It can be too easy to fall into bad habits like neglecting your own simple needs, like a good night’s sleep and staying active and eating right when you are going through something like this. Having a day in your pajamas eating ice cream out of the tub is fine. But your body needs sleep, exercise and nutrition to keep you healthy.

Routine can be a comfort when it feels like everything in your life is changing.

So try and stick to some simple ones like walking your dog every morning or going to a regular gym class to give your life some stability and consistency.

You also need the help and support of those around you. And having a strong support network is crucial when it comes to coping with big changes in your life. This means family and friends, but you could also seek out people going through similar experiences by looking online. There may well be communities who you can talk to and get helpful tips from.

Most importantly of all, you need to be aware of when you need more than just the love and support of other people to help you cope with stress and uncertainty. If you start to feel like your mental health is really suffering, or you have been feeling the symptoms of stress for more than a couple of months, you need to go and talk to a health professional to get the help you need to bounce back.

You can read more practical tips about dealing with change and the symptoms it causes in this infographic from Pounds to Pocket.