Working hard makes you feel accomplished, allows you to participate in fun leisure activities such as travel, plus it pays the bills. There is no denying that you have to work in order to live and bear both essential and leisure expenses. But with both partners working full-time to achieve a certain lifestyle they put their relationship at risk.
Learning to balance “us time” with work time is important for building a healthy romantic relationship.
That said, actually finding that balance can feel impossible when you are both working long hours. Feeling tired and drained from work makes it difficult to give your partner your best.
Here is how to balance “us time” with work time in order to get the best of both: A happy relationship and a thriving career.
Make Time for Your Spouse.
The ultimate way to balance “us time” with “work time” is to carve out space for your partner each day.
You may choose to settle in with a glass of wine and talk or to go out for an extravagant date if you are game for some indulgence. Your goal for the evening should be to flirt, build sexual tension, talk, laugh, and have fun together.
Call it “date night”, or a “marriage check-in”, whatever that be. Just make sure you are setting aside time each day or each week to reconnect with your spouse.
You may both be tired from a long work-week. But post this evening, you will both be thankful that you set aside time to relax and rejuvenate together.
There is also another aspect of making time for one another that is equally important in a relationship. Making time for each other in the bedroom.
Couples who connect with physical intimacy and sex on a regular basis experience a stronger bond, increased love and trust, and enjoy spending time together more than those who do not have sex regularly.
Consider Your Schedules.
One easy way to strike the perfect work/life balance as a working couple is to compare and contrast your schedules.
Maintaining a happy, healthy relationship is going to be very difficult if one of you is working night shifts while the other is working days. This creates a rift or a vacuum in your relationship and can leave one or both of you feeling lonely and vulnerable.
Talk to your employer and see if there is a way for one of you to change your permanent shifts to that is coincides better with your mate’s schedule. This can do wonders for relieving any exhaustion you might feel. It will also give you more time to relax and enjoy your life with your mate.
If you cannot find a way to make your schedules work and feel that your jobs are interfering with the success of your marriage, it might be time to find different employment.
Leave Work at Work.
One way to balance us time with work time is to endeavor to leave your business mindset at the door. Even if you love your job, work is still work. It can leave you feeling tired, stressed, or preoccupied.
This can be especially troubling when both you and your spouse are working full-time to achieve a certain lifestyle. The more exhausted you feel, the less likely you are to try and connect with one another at the end of the day.
When you begin to have obsessive thoughts about work, breathe slowly and pay attention to the air going in and out of your lungs.
Search your mind and see if there are any deeper issues happening. Perhaps you are upset or anxious about something and that is why you keep distracting yourself with thoughts of work.
Firmly tell yourself that you acknowledge these thoughts but that you will deal with them later. It sounds like a silly mind-game, but it works for many people struggling to shake off the day!
Set Mutual Goals and Priorities.
One way to balance us time with work time is to sit down as a couple and create a list of mutual goals and priorities.
Your goals may consist of spending more time together without your smartphones, to refrain from taking work calls or emails while you are at home, or to stop having so much overtime. Your priorities may be to listen and communicate more effectively or to be more patient with one another.
Whatever your list says, be sure to work towards the goals listed on the page. This will give you both something beneficial to work towards to better your marriage.
Be Open about Your Finances.
Not only does being open and honest about your finances help you balance your work/home life, it will also cut back on any arguments you’ve been having about money.
While you are both working full-time to achieve a certain lifestyle, you may want to take a step back and consider how much money you must be making in order to live comfortably. It could be that one or both of you do not need to be working as many hours as you currently are.
Create a budget that works for your relationship and you might find that one of you is able to take more time off to devote to family life.
Don’t Relegate Your Work to the Last Priority Status.
Making time for your partner and ensuring that you have a healthy relationship with both of you working a full-time job is sweet and definitely beneficial for your bond. After all, your marriage is the most important thing in your life and you want to nurture it.
Just remember that being rich may not be important in the grand scheme of things, but paying your bills definitely is.
Don’t spend so much time focusing on your relationship that you forget about your job. You want to be a good employee that your boss can count on. That means showing up on time, getting your work accomplished, being reliable, and doing your best.
Discovering how to balance us time with work time is important to maintaining a happy, healthy relationship while seeking to achieve a certain type of lifestyle.
Leave your work-life at work and focus on spending regular, quality time with your partner each week to maintain a strong relationship. With you and your partner showing willingness to do that, that’s already half the battle won!
About The Author
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.