This post was written by Sebastian Harris.
Hi, I’m a world traveler, writer, and dating coach. And a couple of years ago, I couldn’t even leave the house.
“How can you work as a dating coach when you can even leave the house?”
That’s a good question. As you can already guess, I didn’t always work as a dating coach. In fact, at that time I didn’t work at all. I was too scared to talk to people and too terrified to look them into the eyes.
Every conversation felt like an internal battle. The simple word “hi” made me feel insignificant. Sometimes I think back to this time and ask myself if that was really me. I changed, a lot. But it didn’t happen overnight.
Developing true and authentic confidence takes time.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. But once you reach the finish line, you’ll know that the journey was worth it. I hope that this article inspires you to start your own journey to more self-confidence, happiness, and freedom.
Mine started at a point that I wish you never reach…
The Day I Reached My Lowest Point
“Please God, end my suffering. Kill me, kill me!”
These were the words I screamed on my way back from the lake. All I wanted was to go there to have fun with friends and to belong. But my mind had other plans. The moment I arrived at the lake, my heart was beating faster than a techno song from the 90s.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I had tears in my eyes.
Looking at all these beautiful people with their flawless body made me feel inferior. Looking at myself and the huge scar on my chest made me feel sick. Yes, I was sick of myself. The little confidence I had was pushed down by self-hate.
On my way back I cried. I wanted to die so bad. That’s why I rode my bicycle as fast as I could. I hoped that I would get a heart attack.
Today I am so thankful that I survived.
The Day I Made a Contract with Myself
On the next day I woke up feeling dizzy. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I was exhausted and my thoughts were racing.
“Is that my life? Is that it?”
I asked myself this question over and over again. When I looked into the mirror, I felt the tears coming.
I cried for a couple of minutes.
Then it hit me. I realized that I couldn’t continue like that. Deep inside I didn’t want to die, but I also didn’t want to continue to live like that. I needed to change and I knew that if I didn’t do anything about my situation, I would end up killing myself.
That’s why I took a piece of paper and wrote.
I wrote down my thoughts, my dreams, and my hopes for the future. Then I signed the document. It felt so stupid to do that. Back then I didn’t know that this simple act had a huge impact on my life.
This piece of paper was a contract that I now had to fulfill.
The Day I Met My Mentor
I did what everyone does who wants to solve a problem. I asked Google for help.
I typed “how to become more confident” and “how to get over your fears” and all kinds of other phrases into Google. It took a while until I stumbled upon a YouTube video from a guy who did all kinds of crazy things to step out of his comfort zone.
He waved at strangers. He asked strangers if they want to marry him. He did all kinds of things that seemed impossible to me. I was convinced that he was on drugs…or an alien.
I was curious.
“What if I could do that? What if I had this confidence?”
I couldn’t stop thinking about how my life looked like if I had the confidence to do what I want and be what I want. And again, I had tears in my eyes…tears of joy and hope.
The Day I Felt Confident for the Very First Time
Long story short, he became my mentor.
I booked a coaching with him and I even flew to another country to learn all the things that he could do so effortlessly. The moment I boarded the airplane, my heart was racing. One part of my brain told me that this is the biggest mistake of my life.
Thank God I listened to the other part.
Over the next couple of days my mentor taught me life-changing lessons about confidence, life, dating, and success. Yes, it was hard and yes, I was terrified when I stepped out of my comfort zone for the very first time.
But it was totally worth it.
It turned out that seeking help from a mentor was the best decision of my life, not the worst. After two days with him, I felt unstoppable.
With the right guidance, change can happen fast.