Today I want to share with you the real reasons why I started a business, and how they motivate me to keep working on it every single day.
This might hit differently.
Maybe it’s too intense for some, maybe it comes as a shock to others, or maybe it helps you in a way I can’t even predict. Maybe it gives you the permission to be who you truly are, to finally say no to factors or people or just things in your life that seemed like they are part of who you are and defined you and your reality, but they actually don’t.
You’re in charge and you’ve always been in charge. So let’s dive in.
Defining your deeper why and using it to gain momentum.
See, I’m not your average blogger and business owner, and it’s no coincidence that I first got into personal growth and then into business.
There are always deeper reasons for why we do what we do, and I’ve chosen to live a life of self-awareness and clarity, so I like to get to the bottom of it, especially when it’s about me and my life. If you’ve been following me for a long time now, opening my newsletters, if you’ve read my About page and maybe listened to some of the podcast episodes where I share some musings, lessons, a bit about my childhood and where I come from and some of the issues I’ve been dealing with, you might have an idea of where this will go. If not, you might be surprised.
But at the same time, it’s not surprising. I always say that you need a very, very good reason for starting a big project, such as a business. It will cost you so much of your time and effort and will probably last for the rest of your life. So, things like, “I want to make money.”, or “I want freedom.”, or “I want to be my own boss.”, simply aren’t strong enough.
Many people say that and yet they don’t mean it. They don’t really have those needs or those desires in their heart, or they aren’t very specific.
We all say we want freedom, but freedom from what? Or freedom to do what? And why?
This exercise – defining your deeper why and using it to gain momentum – can be one of the most powerful practices.
It can also be the reason you stay in business. If the why is so strong, a day won’t go by without having it on your mind. It’s the thing that’s on your mind when you wake up and when you go to bed.
It’s what you can put above everything else. It’s what motivates you to avoid short-term pleasure and put long-term results first instead. It also often has to do with the impact you provide, with something bigger than you.
And it’s something that might be connected to pain, shame, anger, discomfort, guilt, or any other of the strongest emotions that we can use to our advantage and turn into fuel for growth.
This is usually the case with the business owners I’m following online and learning from. I like the self-made people, the ones who struggled and knew nothing about business, but who had a vision and still do.
Also, those who wanted to make money, but at the same time, it was never for the money.
Most of the real reasons why I started the business have to do with where I come from and how things are in my family.
I want you to know that I chose to not be defined by my country and by my family.
I read a quote the other day saying something like that: “You can love your family, but still choose to reject their toxic patterns.”
And I had tears in my eyes when I was writing down the notes for this episode. Because I feel these reasons in every cell of my body and because I know that a big part of my mission is to lead by example.
So, thank you to anyone who has ever contacted me over the years after reading my About page or checking out any of my content. Who emailed me saying that it inspired them to read how I had a vision and it allowed me to leave my home country, how I left the toxic environment and started a new chapter, how I designed different aspects of my life strategically and how I found a way to do what I love for a living and have been doing it for a decade now.
A promise I made to myself a long time ago
But here’s the thing. In my eyes, there was no other way. This is what I want so bad that it was a non-negotiable.
It’s why economic uncertainty doesn’t scare me. My motivation since moving away has always been to maintain what I have, to also grow it of course, but it’s far from what I wanted to be in terms of income. That’s not the point though because a long time ago, I made a deal with myself.
I promised myself that I take 100% responsibility for anything that happens and doesn’t happen in my life. And that while I will always aim higher and my vision will grow together with me, I’m also fine if things stay the way they are and I’ll forever be grateful for what my business has given me.
So now, let me dive deeper into the actual reasons why I started a business. Please keep in mind that none of this is to complain or blame anyone. I’m sharing it from an empowering place and I hope it empowers you regardless of what your current reality looks like.
Also, it’s important to note that I know that I’m still privileged. I might not come from the best country, economically speaking, but it’s part of the European Union. It’s safe and many people would even prefer it over the one I moved to.
I’m also privileged enough to be born into a family that always provided for me and are there for me in case I need them.
Also, in no way am I thinking that I have it all figured out. I’ve got my issues like anyone else, so no need to compare or to judge.
If you’re in any way triggered by this, good. Triggers show us where we need to heal and what we need to focus on, so then it was definitely helpful for you to read this. Whether you take the hint and do the inner work though is totally up to you.
Finally, before we begin with the reasons, know that the main goal of this piece is to inspire you to make the most of the cards you are dealt with in life. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t know what your cards are and how you’re supposed to make the most of them, but I do believe you can.
I’m an idealist and I can sound delusional to you sometimes. There are always two options for this. It’s either correct or you’re thinking too small.
I want to challenge you to think bigger. Nothing is out of reach if it’s a desire that’s placed in your heart. It’s there for a reason.
Now that I’ve warmed you up, here are the reasons why I started a business.
Why I Started a Business
1. My Daddy Issues
I could have sugarcoated it, but I like calling things by their real names. I like putting things on the table.
Most of my inner work these years has to do with my daddy issues. It used to be only about forgiving him and letting go of the need to change others, which I saw a lot of progress with.
Now, it’s mostly about getting to the bottom of it. Him being an alcoholic, him treating my mom badly, him being a narcissist, him being emotionally immature.
And at the end of the day, he’s still a dad who loves his child. However, it’s my responsibility to heal in the exact ways that I need in order to unleash my full potential.
I built a lot of resilience and mental toughness thanks to things I’ve seen and experienced, how I felt and what I haven’t been given by the main male figure in my life. I’ve chosen to study each issue – literally with a book or two on each topic – and see why he is the way he is, but also how that has affected me and especially how that has affected my adult relationships.
A lot of growth is happening when I focus on that. I also practice trigger management all the time. I’ve learned how to regulate my nervous system around him and on topics related to him that deeply hurt me and have found new, more effective and simpler ways to communicate with him without the need to expect anything or to have a strong emotional connection.
I found ways to coexist, mostly when I’m visiting family back in my home country, so he can get to see me and so that I never yell at him or get triggered or angry as I used to back in the days.
How does this relate to business? Simple. I had to get myself out of that environment, away from my dad and how the relationship of my parents is and also to make sure I don’t rely on him in any way, financially or legally.
That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken. Of course, moving thousands of kilometers away didn’t solve the problem, but it took me away from it physically, so I can have a fresher perspective and keep working on this from a distance.
I’ve set strong boundaries with him and I keep doing it every next year.
He hasn’t changed, but I have. Things back at home haven’t gotten better in any way, they’re actually worse, but I’m not making them worse.
I’m not in the role of the daughter trying to save my mother or to be my father’s opponent or to fight for equality or to seek emotional connection with him, something that he simply isn’t capable of. Or to want to make him stop drinking or to keep family secrets and hold on to guilt and shame.
That’s the family role I used to play, though. I’ve now found ways to feel safe in my body and no matter where I am, no matter who’s around me and no matter what life brings. I consider that one of my biggest accomplishments in life.
Also, leaving that situation is a massive step forward in terms of breaking generational curses and paving the way for the next generations, healing traumas so my kids won’t have to deal with those exact issues.
As for why I started a business, it was my way out of this. It was the how. It was the way I was going to earn enough to be independent from my family so I can create the life I want.
It was how I was going to move away from my home country and never come back. It was how I was going to have freedom and independence. And it worked.
How I changed my reality
I’ll never forget the period when I was still living with my parents but knew exactly what I wanted to do next and was working on growing the business.
Every day I would wake up super early and get to work. I’m not an early bird but when you’re on a mission like that and want to make something happen sooner, waking up earlier isn’t a challenge anymore.
I had a clear vision and was mentally already away from that home. I was just waiting for the reality to catch up.
I also paid less attention to what was happening at home then because I was busy and I was inspired and I loved the work I was doing and I was excited by the idea of where it could take me. But every next unpleasant evening at home was motivating me to work even more strategically.
I was then freelancing for clients and learning more about blogging so I could monetize my blog. Once I was earning enough online and had some savings, I got a one-way ticket to Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
I couldn’t sleep from the anxiety and uncertainty of what’s next, although technically it wasn’t that scary as in the worst case I would come back. Also both countries are in the European Union so legally it’s no effort at all. Still though, I had to take the leap and I knew that I wouldn’t allow myself to not make it work.
Which brings me to the next big reason why I started a business and what followed next.
2. The Country I Come From
That’s the country I come from, Bulgaria. It’s simply not for me and to this day I don’t enjoy going back there. Everything is the same and it can bring me back to a state of mind I was in 10 years ago as if nothing changed.
I heard someone talk about that on a podcast episode once. It’s Alex Hormozi, a wildly successful entrepreneur. He said he doesn’t visit family for the holidays anymore and the reasons resonated with me so much.
I still do, out of guilt mostly and because it feels like I have to. But I can tell you this, I don’t enjoy a single second of it.
I know this sounds unpleasant to most people, they judge me for it.
I try not to discuss this topic unless someone really wants to know how I feel about it. But I’m here today to say things the way they are and that’s the reality.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to move to another country and it took a while to know which one. But once I knew the answer, I had no doubt that’s where I want to be, the Netherlands.
To this day, over 7 years later, I feel more certain in my choice than ever. This is where I want to live and this is the culture I prefer to be part of rather than the one I grew up being part of. I hope you too can give yourself permission not to be defined by your country.
Know that I don’t really want to hate on my home country, though. It’s beautiful and cheap, it has amazing nature and people can be warm and many foreigners move there and love it. But it’s not for me, it never was and it never will be.
To this day, after every time I visit family and after I come out of the plane, after it lands back in the Netherlands, I feel pure joy, deep gratitude and can sometimes even shed a tear for the chance of living where I want to, having my freedom and being away from my home country and not having to depend on my family.
That sounds harsh to some and it is harsh, but it’s also the reality.
It’s not something I decided on a whim or feel just every now and then, it’s something I know deep in my soul. That I had to leave my home country, and that I had to move to the Netherlands.
So again, my business was my way out of there and I also really wanted to be self-employed and have this figured out before I leave.
So the business happened first, then the relocation. That’s my lifestyle design story. Now, let me share the third big reason why I started a business.
3. Women Oppression
One of the keywords in my life is freedom. I craved it ever since I can remember. The freedom to do what I want, when I want, but also to be whoever I want, that’s emotional freedom.
This is related to the fact that my dad was overprotective as a parent. I don’t judge this, it’s how he coped with other things in life, but that affected me and I felt suffocated.
Also, I wanted freedom from society’s expectations. I didn’t want to live for others, I wanted to live for myself. I wanted to feel like an individual and I didn’t want to feel oppressed. And here’s the thing, I couldn’t ignore the fact that women are still oppressed by men in Bulgaria.
I can’t stand that, especially the fact that it’s not talked about there and it’s turned into the norm. That applied to the relationship of my parents too. I couldn’t do anything about them and the freedom of others, but I could do something about mine.
The day I moved away from my home country is the day I became a real adult and started breathing more freely. It’s my personal liberation day. Since then, I’ve done anything I felt like doing, have traveled to the other side of the world – spontaneously even. I’ve met people, I’ve started and ended relationships, I dove into personal growth, grew my business, worked on different creative projects and became more of who I really am.
One little known way to manifest
My mom once told me that I’m living the life she always wished to live and that she’s living it through me, sort of.
Do you know that sometimes you can manifest things in a different form and through others? So while in this lifetime she won’t, or at least hasn’t yet, experienced the kind of freedom she dreams about, she manifested it through me. I broke that cycle in my family because other women in the family tree are also oppressed.
Being the cycle breaker in your family
Keep in mind no one in my family actually talks about this. I’m using those strong words with ease because that’s what I see and I can’t ignore it. Every family tree needs a black sheep, one person that breaks the rules and breaks the patterns.
So this is one of my missions in life and it goes together with a lot of discomfort, guilt, offending others, loneliness often and other things, but it’s the right thing and I know it deep in my soul.
A long time ago, I decided I will never feel oppressed in a relationship and I’m very picky about the potential partner. Too picky maybe but I know the consequences of ending up with the wrong person.
Oppression still exists.
Also, I moved to a country where I feel like there is a lot of equality between men and women and I really like that.
When I do notice injustice in that aspect, it deeply hurts me. I have a lot of compassion for all the women that are somehow controlled by men, be it for religious reasons, financial or any other factor that led to a situation they can’t get away from.
This goes back to the witches being burned at the stake. They were simply women who were spiritual. They were also powerful and intuitive and rule breakers that scared others. So the only thing authorities could do back then was to burn them alive so others can see that and never dare to do anything similar.
We’re lucky to not live in times like that anymore but in so many countries some pretty ancient practices are still happening and oppression exists. Some women don’t know life outside of it. They don’t even know they can have it any other way.
This is such a serious topic but for now, I just wanted to share that it’s another one of the big reasons why I left my home country, started a business and stopped being controlled in any way by other people, especially by men.
My business allowed me to have the safe space to be whoever I want to be and to stand in my power.
Many people in my family and in my home country in general are triggered when they see how I live or when they hear me express a stronger opinion. I can see they feel uncomfortable but I also know they wonder how that’s possible and whether they can ever become like that.
I don’t tell them how to live, it’s none of my business. But don’t forget that just by going after your goals and living the life you want, you allow others to question their existence, to dream bigger, to break the rules. First in their mind, and one day maybe in real life. So these are the three big reasons I just had to start a business.
I didn’t know how I was going to make money or if it was ever gonna work or if it was gonna be enough to move to an expensive country like the Netherlands. But I allowed myself to believe it can happen and I worked on it every day until it happened.
People often call me silly for leaving a cheap country like Bulgaria and paying high taxes in the Netherlands but now you know why that’s the least of my concerns in life.
Final words
So these are the 3 big reasons why I started a business. I hope you enjoyed this topic.
It’s how I stay true to myself, it’s part of my legacy to speak my truth, to not care about perfection or worry about how my accent sounds. I’m here to share my message and the satisfaction I feel while creating this content is my sign that I’m working on exactly what I need to be working on right now. This is an example of creative freedom, one of the many types of freedom, all of which I love so much.
If any of the reasons why I started a business resonated with you, let me know what you think.
Reach out if you need some encouragement or just want to chat. You can always email me at lidiya [at] letsreadsuccess.com.
If you know someone else who can benefit from this story, please share it with them.
And if you’re building a blogging business and want support on your journey, join us inside our membership and community for bloggers. That’s the place where we don’t stay away from raw conversations around blogging and business and discuss the different ways to grow your traffic and income. It’s where I share behind the scenes content, my latest strategies, I update you on what’s going on with the blogging industry and what the latest Google algorithm updates are, and where you can ask any question you have and share your content so you can get my feedback on it.
That’s it for today. I hope this article lit a fire inside you. Freedom is not overrated.
Even if you had one new small idea in your mind today thanks to this post or added a new element to your vision, I’ve done my job well because that’s how revolutions begin.
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