3 Brutally Honest Reasons Why I Started a Business

Today I want to share with you the real reasons why I started a business, and how they motivate me to keep working on it every single day.

This might hit differently.

Maybe it’s too intense for some, maybe it comes as a shock to others, or maybe it helps you in a way I can’t even predict. Maybe it gives you the permission to be who you truly are, to finally say no to factors or people or just things in your life that seemed like they are part of who you are and defined you and your reality, but they actually don’t.

You’re in charge and you’ve always been in charge. So let’s dive in.

Defining your deeper why and using it to gain momentum.

See, I’m not your average blogger and business owner, and it’s no coincidence that I first got into personal growth and then into business.

There are always deeper reasons for why we do what we do, and I’ve chosen to live a life of self-awareness and clarity, so I like to get to the bottom of it, especially when it’s about me and my life. If you’ve been following me for a long time now, opening my newsletters, if you’ve read my About page and maybe listened to some of the podcast episodes where I share some musings, lessons, a bit about my childhood and where I come from and some of the issues I’ve been dealing with, you might have an idea of where this will go. If not, you might be surprised.

But at the same time, it’s not surprising. I always say that you need a very, very good reason for starting a big project, such as a business. It will cost you so much of your time and effort and will probably last for the rest of your life. So, things like, “I want to make money.”, or “I want freedom.”, or “I want to be my own boss.”, simply aren’t strong enough.

Many people say that and yet they don’t mean it. They don’t really have those needs or those desires in their heart, or they aren’t very specific.

We all say we want freedom, but freedom from what? Or freedom to do what? And why?

This exercise – defining your deeper why and using it to gain momentum – can be one of the most powerful practices.

It can also be the reason you stay in business. If the why is so strong, a day won’t go by without having it on your mind. It’s the thing that’s on your mind when you wake up and when you go to bed.

It’s what you can put above everything else. It’s what motivates you to avoid short-term pleasure and put long-term results first instead. It also often has to do with the impact you provide, with something bigger than you.

And it’s something that might be connected to pain, shame, anger, discomfort, guilt, or any other of the strongest emotions that we can use to our advantage and turn into fuel for growth.

This is usually the case with the business owners I’m following online and learning from. I like the self-made people, the ones who struggled and knew nothing about business, but who had a vision and still do.

Also, those who wanted to make money, but at the same time, it was never for the money.

Most of the real reasons why I started the business have to do with where I come from and how things are in my family.

I want you to know that I chose to not be defined by my country and by my family.

I read a quote the other day saying something like that: “You can love your family, but still choose to reject their toxic patterns.”

And I had tears in my eyes when I was writing down the notes for this episode. Because I feel these reasons in every cell of my body and because I know that a big part of my mission is to lead by example.

So, thank you to anyone who has ever contacted me over the years after reading my About page or checking out any of my content. Who emailed me saying that it inspired them to read how I had a vision and it allowed me to leave my home country, how I left the toxic environment and started a new chapter, how I designed different aspects of my life strategically and how I found a way to do what I love for a living and have been doing it for a decade now.

A promise I made to myself a long time ago

But here’s the thing. In my eyes, there was no other way. This is what I want so bad that it was a non-negotiable.

It’s why economic uncertainty doesn’t scare me. My motivation since moving away has always been to maintain what I have, to also grow it of course, but it’s far from what I wanted to be in terms of income. That’s not the point though because a long time ago, I made a deal with myself.

I promised myself that I take 100% responsibility for anything that happens and doesn’t happen in my life. And that while I will always aim higher and my vision will grow together with me, I’m also fine if things stay the way they are and I’ll forever be grateful for what my business has given me.

So now, let me dive deeper into the actual reasons why I started a business. Please keep in mind that none of this is to complain or blame anyone. I’m sharing it from an empowering place and I hope it empowers you regardless of what your current reality looks like.

Also, it’s important to note that I know that I’m still privileged. I might not come from the best country, economically speaking, but it’s part of the European Union. It’s safe and many people would even prefer it over the one I moved to.

I’m also privileged enough to be born into a family that always provided for me and are there for me in case I need them.

Also, in no way am I thinking that I have it all figured out. I’ve got my issues like anyone else, so no need to compare or to judge.

If you’re in any way triggered by this, good. Triggers show us where we need to heal and what we need to focus on, so then it was definitely helpful for you to read this. Whether you take the hint and do the inner work though is totally up to you.

Finally, before we begin with the reasons, know that the main goal of this piece is to inspire you to make the most of the cards you are dealt with in life. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t know what your cards are and how you’re supposed to make the most of them, but I do believe you can.

I’m an idealist and I can sound delusional to you sometimes. There are always two options for this. It’s either correct or you’re thinking too small.

I want to challenge you to think bigger. Nothing is out of reach if it’s a desire that’s placed in your heart. It’s there for a reason.

Now that I’ve warmed you up, here are the reasons why I started a business.

Why I Started a Business

1. My Daddy Issues

I could have sugarcoated it, but I like calling things by their real names. I like putting things on the table.

Most of my inner work these years has to do with my daddy issues. It used to be only about forgiving him and letting go of the need to change others, which I saw a lot of progress with.

Now, it’s mostly about getting to the bottom of it. Him being an alcoholic, him treating my mom badly, him being a narcissist, him being emotionally immature.

And at the end of the day, he’s still a dad who loves his child. However, it’s my responsibility to heal in the exact ways that I need in order to unleash my full potential.

I built a lot of resilience and mental toughness thanks to things I’ve seen and experienced, how I felt and what I haven’t been given by the main male figure in my life. I’ve chosen to study each issue – literally with a book or two on each topic – and see why he is the way he is, but also how that has affected me and especially how that has affected my adult relationships.

A lot of growth is happening when I focus on that. I also practice trigger management all the time. I’ve learned how to regulate my nervous system around him and on topics related to him that deeply hurt me and have found new, more effective and simpler ways to communicate with him without the need to expect anything or to have a strong emotional connection.

I found ways to coexist, mostly when I’m visiting family back in my home country, so he can get to see me and so that I never yell at him or get triggered or angry as I used to back in the days.

How does this relate to business? Simple. I had to get myself out of that environment, away from my dad and how the relationship of my parents is and also to make sure I don’t rely on him in any way, financially or legally.

That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken. Of course, moving thousands of kilometers away didn’t solve the problem, but it took me away from it physically, so I can have a fresher perspective and keep working on this from a distance.

I’ve set strong boundaries with him and I keep doing it every next year.

He hasn’t changed, but I have. Things back at home haven’t gotten better in any way, they’re actually worse, but I’m not making them worse.

I’m not in the role of the daughter trying to save my mother or to be my father’s opponent or to fight for equality or to seek emotional connection with him, something that he simply isn’t capable of. Or to want to make him stop drinking or to keep family secrets and hold on to guilt and shame.

That’s the family role I used to play, though. I’ve now found ways to feel safe in my body and no matter where I am, no matter who’s around me and no matter what life brings. I consider that one of my biggest accomplishments in life.

Also, leaving that situation is a massive step forward in terms of breaking generational curses and paving the way for the next generations, healing traumas so my kids won’t have to deal with those exact issues.

As for why I started a business, it was my way out of this. It was the how. It was the way I was going to earn enough to be independent from my family so I can create the life I want.

It was how I was going to move away from my home country and never come back. It was how I was going to have freedom and independence. And it worked.