Why & How I Quit Alcohol: The Best Decision I Never Saw Coming

Now that’s an article I never thought I’d write in my early 30s. But it happened.

I quit alcohol, and I never felt better. The temptations are only starting to come now, but I’m positive about this. It’s been only 3 months, but for years now I’ve been considering this. 

And while this started as a simple ‘break from drinking and nightlife’ and a ‘sober start of the new year’, it turned into something more.

I became more focused, empowered, healing and personal growth began happening faster, I achieved more than ever, and I opened my eyes to how much alcohol was ruining my life.

In this post, I’m going to share why and how I quit alcohol, how I feel about it, and what’s next on this journey for me.

A quick note before we dive in: I wasn’t an alcoholic, and technically I didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Maybe I had in my early 20s with my excessive partying. But later it simply turned into social events, a festival here and there, a fun night that started with 2 beers but turned into more and lasted till the morning, etc. 

It didn’t make me happy. I was always disappointed the day after, this felt totally out of alignment with the version of me I want to become, I lacked energy and motivation for many days after drinking, and sometimes I relied on alcohol to have fun, be more social or confident.

So it was an issue in my life. But if you rely on it to fill an emotional void, drink daily, also alone at home, and can’t control it, then it’s best to seek professional help. 

This article just shares my latest personal growth and new habits (kicking a bad one – drinking – and building new, better ones as a result). I’m not an expert in this, I don’t even have much experience with it yet, it’s just a new area of life I’m exploring and which I want to share my progress about.

Hopefully, this inspires you to quit alcohol too in case you were consuming it weekly or had a party every now and then but didn’t feel good afterwards.

Let’s dive into why and how I quit alcohol.

Why I Stopped Drinking

Here’s a list of the many reasons why this simply wasn’t working for me and I was better off without it:

1. Often, one drink led to many. 

Which meant that under certain conditions (nice atmosphere, social gatherings, new and fun people around me, feeling extra good, a sunny day outside at a bar, meeting with specific friends, etc.), I couldn’t really control my drinking. 

I drank more than I initially planned to, and that led to emotional consequences. Such as breaking a promise to myself, feeling weak, not having willpower, lacking discipline, not trusting myself, not listening to my intuition, not setting boundaries with myself, not loving myself enough. 

This is enough to keep you in low energy for weeks, which can be detrimental to your personal growth journey.

2. Alcohol was only feeding my ego. 

We either operate from the heart or from the ego. And while the ego is there to protect us so we can survive, it also takes us in the wrong direction if we follow it. 

For example, any time I was drinking, I felt more confident, social, and on top of the world. But that was fake. It was the wrong kind of energy, because the day after I simply won’t act like that. 

I liked some parts of that version of me so that’s why I kept having drinks any time I get together with friends, or for a party, or when it’s evening and we go to a bar. These things just went together very well, they became patterns. But I don’t like the person I become when I drink. I was attached to that version of me and that’s why I had reasons to keep having drinks every now and then – so others can see me in this ‘powerful’ state again.

Now, I feel powerful in a good way, in a humble way, without any substances.

3. I smoked cigarettes when drinking.

I never identified as a smoker, and I can’t even stand it when someone’s smoking in my face. But after a few drinks, I can light a cigarette and then a few more, and enjoy it.

I feel ever worse because of it the next day. I am simply not made for this, and my throat feels bad after it. 

So by quitting drinking, I also quit smoking (even though it was occasional and I never, ever did it without a few drinks).

4. It feels like the Universe is inviting me to step into the next chapter of my life.

I feel that in many ways. I heal a lot lately. I got into the most mature relationship of my life, and just now started living with my partner.

All this, while amazing, also brings up all the issues, subconscious limiting beliefs and unhealed stuff that I left for ‘one day’. 

It’s time for it now, and I need a sober mind to feel any feeling that comes up, and release it naturally. 

I want to heal anything that I’m invited to heal (which is usually shown by what triggers me). 

All this gives me a whole new sense of confidence, empowerment and responsibility.

Because of that, alcohol simply doesn’t fit in my agenda anymore. It brings me many steps back in my personal growth, it makes me get triggered more easily, it makes my relationships worse, and it lowers my confidence and self-trust in the long-run.

Now, I’m invited to step up my game. 

A long time ago I asked the Universe for an ‘ego death’. I’m always connecting to my desires and the future version of me who lives the life I want and who feels good about it. To get to her, I have many things to do, habits to ditch, new ones to start, patterns to break, and changes to make.

One of them – that I feel certain about – was quitting drinking.

I want my goals and vision so much and I cherish my personal growth and healing journey so much, that they simply became more important than alcohol, and anything it was bringing to my life.

5. My dad is an alcoholic, so by giving up alcohol, it feels like I’m doing a favor to my whole family tree.

This is a reason I feel deeply. As I write this from a cafe now (in my new city in the Netherlands – Maastricht – where I just moved in with my boyfriend), I’m tearing up.

My dad is not just an alcoholic. He is the opposite of everything I aspire to be, and he is hurting everyone in his life in many, many ways. 

Things are very bad back at home, and this always invites me to heal more, to accept more, to forgive more, and to let go of control more and more.

I always have this urge to do something about it. I’ve tried it all, and nothing worked out. There are many factors involved and this is a very complex situation, so getting myself out of it (literally, by leaving my home country) was somehow one of the best things I could do for everyone involved.

I couldn’t change anything or help anyone, but I could create the life I wanted and live it on my own terms. 

I didn’t escape, as you carry the pain with you wherever you go. But it’s easier to heal it from a distance.

Recently, I had a revelation – stopping alcohol was related to that too. Somehow, on an energetic level, stopping alcohol was healing my whole family tree. Doing what my dad isn’t able to do in this life takes some burden off the generations before me and the ones after me. This ends with me. I’m breaking another generational pattern, and it all makes sense now.

I swear I didn’t see this before.

But when I relied on alcohol to feel in a certain way, couldn’t control how many drinks I had, or felt disappointed in myself the day after, I was actually experiencing what my dad is (even if it’s 1%).

The other men in my family are big drinkers too, by the way.

So that’s a deep reason why this all feels like the right move for me. It’s very interesting and very new to me, but my intuition led me here. 

6. I’m ready to unleash more of my potential.

Once I quit drinking, I started waking up earlier and getting more done.

I started making more money with my business.

I stayed connected to my vision more and took action on it.

I became more and more ready for the next steps in my life, such as buying a house and having kids (even if it takes a year or a few).

I started making better choices.

I had more energy and motivation.

I now love myself more than ever. 

I feel more disciplined and in control than ever, and quitting alcohol only reminds me that I can change any other behavior too.

My goals are simply more important than my bad habits and the comfort they give me. 

Now, let’s dive into the how. 

How I Quit Alcohol 

There’s no specific step-by-step process I can give you. But here are a few factors that were present, and what I did and didn’t do about it.

It was the right time.

Regardless of how strong your reasons to stop drinking are, it probably won’t happen until the time is right.

Truth is, I was planning to do it some time next year. I planned to read a book about it. And I will still do that, but I quit before even reading anything about sobriety and how society influences us to drink more, and how alcohol damages our body, etc.

The right time came, and I knew it in my soul. So that made everything easier.

I realized that the only times I felt disappointed in myself, were when I was drinking. And by stopping it, I simply won’t be disappointed in myself anymore. How awesome is that!

This and other realizations about it were coming to me all the time. I opened my eyes to all the damage alcohol was causing and how it was getting me further away from my goals, so I got tired of it.

I didn’t think about the big picture, I just stopped ‘for a while’.

That really helped. I didn’t need to discuss it with others, make a plan, or anything else.

The last time I drank alcohol was on December 27th, on someone’s birthday. A few days after that was New Year’s Eve. And because I already had plenty of drinks a few days prior, and because 31st was in the middle of the week, I decided not to drink.

I brought alcohol free champagne and really enjoyed it.

It also wasn’t a party, just a cozy evening with 2 more couples in their home, so that made it easy.

The next day I felt better than ever, and ready to smash my goals in January.

It was easy not to have any occasions for drinking for the next few weeks, as most people don’t do much in January, are on a diet, or getting back into a routine after the holidays.

So that’s the month when I was waking up early every morning and being more productive. I loved that lifestyle. I also began doing 10K steps a day, listening to audiobooks, and my personal growth accelerated.

I couldn’t let this momentum go so I planned not to drink in February either (even though it’s my birthday then).

Month 2 of not drinking

February 14th came, but my partner was sick so we skipped that. I was thinking that would be the first temptation to drink (even if it’s a glass of wine at home). But luckily, it wasn’t.

Then, the week after was my birthday. I set some boundaries and shared I don’t actually want to drink. So we did other activities the whole weekend. It was more meaningful than ever.

I then realized not drinking was the biggest gift I could give myself and my body. Other years I’d just go out with friends and have drinks because it was expected. Now, I realize it wasn’t.

So month 2 of not drinking passed, and I felt so good. I was also meeting friends for daily activities or for coffee, instead of at bars or for drinks. 

If my partner asked about drinking, I said I’d probably drink a little during our trip to Morocco in March.

As it came closer, I decided I want to treat this as an experiment. Let’s see how it is if I don’t drink.

Month 3

The trip went really well, and I experienced things more intensely than ever. Normally, when traveling or during romantic dates, I’d have alcohol, continue the night in bars, etc. Not now.

Sober travel is amazing. And while there were more temptations, each time I avoided them, I also felt more and more in control of my life.

So that’s how I quit alcohol.

Now that I’m back from the trip, settling in in my new home, getting my new home office ready, and month 3 of not drinking has passed, I’m mentally preparing for what’s next.

More temptations are coming now. Summer will be here soon, more social events, people noticing that I don’t drink and asking why, some being triggered by it, maybe experiencing a party or festival sober for the first time.

It’s all an experiment, let’s see how that goes.

I have a lot more to share about this, so stay tuned. I already have some topics prepared, such as the deep questions I asked myself for the first time in my life (after quitting drinking), how I resist temptations, what happened after I stopped alcohol, and so much more.

I’m obsessed with the idea of sharing this and – of course – want to start a new blog about it. But I probably shouldn’t. I have new ideas all the time, and not each is something I remain passionate about.

But the desire is in me – the desire to help others stop drinking, to bring awareness to how alcohol is damaging our lives, to make this part of my legacy (especially as I see my dad’s inability to stop it and the consequences of that). 

This new mission is forming within me, and it needs to be released.

Maybe I can post more about it on socials, TikTok for example. And, of course, it’s easy to write about it here on the blog. There’s a lot more I will learn during this journey of sobriety. The actual temptations haven’t even started yet.

Final words

But let me tell you this – others are looking at me with respect I haven’t seen before, even my partner. My family doesn’t even know this yet, and the relatives who drink might be really triggered when they see how easily I stopped and that I’m serious about it and don’t even accept a drink to say cheers (which is sort of mandatory in the country I come from). But being triggered is part of their healing journey. 

I won’t be telling anyone in my life to stop drinking or to change anything else. But as we all know, actions speak louder than words.

And remember – any time you hit a milestone, feel better about yourself, and take another step in your personal growth, you’re giving others the permission to do the same. But whenever they are ready.

I hope you enjoyed this post on why and how I quit alcohol. Needless to say, this is a little uncomfortable to share, but also liberating and empowering. I feel like a whole different person than the version of me 3 months ago. I feel more like the woman I want to become. Like the future me. 

And that’s how we manifest our vision and reach our goals – by operating like the person we want to become but today, even if it’s for 1 minute or in 1 little way.

Let me know if any of this resonates, if you also want to quit alcohol or if you’ve already done it. I’d love to start a discussion around this.