Can Marriage Counseling Help Prevent Divorce 43

Can Marriage Counseling Help Prevent Divorce

This is a guest post by Christopher, an avid blogger from Tulsa, Oklahoma who is passionate about encouraging healthy family values for all communities while working with the Gorospe & Smith Tulsa Divorce Law Firm in his own community.

As much as we may wish for the best outcome in love and marriage, some marriages can be quite a struggle.

In a struggling marriage, one or both parties might find themselves wondering whether they should call a divorce attorney or a marriage counselor. Marriage counseling is frequently considered as an option for preventing divorce and mending broken marital relations.

However, many people wonder if marriage counseling really works.

Will marriage counseling actually save their marriage?

There isn’t one right answer to this question but are many factors to consider.

Sooner is Better.

If one person is already considering filing for divorce, it’s likely their spouse probably is too.

Maybe one of them has already contacted a divorce attorney. The effectiveness of marriage counseling can be greatly effected by how soon counseling is sought. Couples that wait too long might have issues too far ingrained in their relationship to ever fully recover.

The general consensus among therapists is that couples who seek therapy sooner, rather than later, see better results, and their relationships are more likely to recover.

The alternative is trying to break learned behaviors that have been the long time norm in the relationship and may even be abusive.

Also, the longer the relationship is suffering, the higher chance that one individual has already given up and therefore therapy would ultimately not fix the relationship.

The Right Therapist

Choosing the right therapist can have a profound effect on the results of marital counseling.

Both spouses need to feel like the therapist is the right choice and is fair. Sometimes one spouse may feel that the therapist is showing consistent favoritism or simply does not connect with the therapist, which can have a negative impact on the overall goal of fixing the marriage.

A therapist who is qualified is also an important consideration when choosing a marriage counselor.

Couples may wish to seek a therapist that specializes in marriage and family therapy to ensure they find the best qualified individuals for helping mend their relationship.

Couples should also feel consider to asking for references, checking credentials, and even requesting a free informational interview with prospective therapists to make sure both spouses feel the therapist is qualified and fits their needs.

Continuing Therapy

The unfortunate truth is there is rarely a quick fix for couples considering separating.

The most effective marriage counseling is going to take more than a couple sessions in most cases. A common mistake that couples make when in marriage counseling is quitting too soon.

When both partners are committed to change and to fixing the marriage, couples may enter a blissful period where they’re moving forward and the relationship is improving.

However, continuing this trend is key and couples may be more likely to backslide into old habits without the guidance of their marriage counselor.

Couples should aim for 6 months or more in therapy before considering quitting it.

There are many factors to whether or not marriage counseling will be successful. The commitment of all parties is key. However, even when this is the case, some couples realize in marriage counseling that divorce truly is the right decision for them.

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The Five Elements of Flawless Customer Experience 10

The Five Elements of Flawless Customer Experience

Providing a flawless customer experience is the ultimate goal for any business.

There’s a lot that goes into creating a customer experience that keeps your clients coming back for more. In fact, there’s so much involved that it can almost seem overwhelming.

However, providing a flawless customer experience becomes much easier when you approach the task through these five distinct elements:

Ownership of Emotions
The Unexpected


When it comes to your customers’ satisfaction, time is essential. Think of how a great experience at a new restaurant quickly sours if you’re left waiting for your food to arrive. Think of how your excitement over a great department store sale turns into frustration as you stand in line for what seems like hours.

Time is your most valuable resource and it is up to you to make sure you’re using your customers’ time wisely.

This is why restaurants have comfortable waiting areas with drinks and appetizers, or why airports have lounges with restaurants, shops, and even bars.

If your customers are being forced to wait for a service, make them feel as if their time spent is not wasted. The more positive drivers you offer customers, the less likely they are to grow dissatisfied with their experience.

Think of how you can implement this in your own business. Are there places where you can help fill customers’ time? Are there places where technology can be used to cut down on the time it takes to complete a task? Remember, it’s the customers’ time that should be valued, not your own.


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You must understand what your customers want, when they want it, and how.

While this may seem daunting, getting a better understanding of your customers doesn’t take millions of dollars, complex data analytics, and a degree in psychology. Instead, all it takes is a simple look. Watch their process, engage with them, ask them questions, and listen to them.  

How are customers interacting with your product? What’s the first thing they do when they enter your store? What’s the last thing they do before they leave? How long are they spending in each department? Do you notice anything that hampers their experience?

Take a look at your competitors. How are your potential customers interacting with them? What does this business offer that you don’t or vice versa? What is your, as Harvard Business School professor Clayton M. Christensen says, “job to be done?” What are your customers hiring your product or service to accomplish? Understand why your users are turning to your products.

Ownership of Emotions

Many companies have already taken hold of their customers’ emotions, though cynically. Subliminal advertising is a key example. However, the ownership of emotions does not have to be cynical. When used correctly, it can be the “holy grail” for companies.

Owning emotions begins with the aforementioned ability to understand. When you truly understand a customer’s choices and then act to make the experience better, you’re building a relationship of trust. That trust is the foundation of emotional ownership.

One way to build this trust is to reduce the “emotional” noise that surrounds your customers. Let them know that, even on their worst day, your business or product is there for them and that it will be a constant in their lives.

Think of restaurants and the long wait times you have to endure when they’re busy. Think of how angry—or “hangry”—you feel as you stand around, waiting for your table, and listening to your stomach growl. However, think of how some restaurants are able to reduce that emotional noise by serving you finger foods and drinks as you wait.

Also, seek to understand what emotionally motivates your customers.

Why should they be motivated to visit your store or use your product? To feel confident? Free? Unique? Secure? Successful? Research shows that all human beings are motivated by one of those factors.

The Unexpected

Experiences become stronger and more memorable when they’re accompanied by an element of surprise. Surprise can be addictive, which will only keep your customers coming back for more.

Think about mailing your customers or clients small packages with gifts and swag. Everyone loves to get mail and everyone loves free stuff, especially when it’s least expected.

A surprise doesn’t have to be a huge flash mob (though it could be!). Hand out snacks at your store. Is it a cold day? Give your customers hot chocolate or warm punch. Is it a client’s birthday? Send a card! Even a small note of thanks for a customer’s business is a nice little surprise.

The most important thing to remember: simply be sincere and don’t become predictable. Chocolates on hotel pillows were once a great surprise for guests. However, now that their wow-factor has faded, hotels are continuously trying to get back to the “unexpected.”


You’ve made promises and established goals. The only thing that’s left is to follow through on them. This starts with creating your mission statement, one that you, your employees, and your customers can commit to it. This will define your customer experience.

Your mission statement must promise to impact yourself/your business, the community, or the world. It may commit to impacting one, or all three. However, whatever it promises, you must follow through on. Your customers’ trust, and thus their experience, depends on it.

More about these five elements can be discovered in Unforgettable: Designing Customer Experiences that Stick, to be published in 2018.

Kyle H. David has made a career in technology and entrepreneurship for nearly 20 years. In 2001, he formed The Kyle David Group, now KDG. Over the past 16 years, KDG has grown at a rapid pace, attracting clients ranging from the United States Senate to major financial institutions, international nonprofits, and Division I universities.