This is a guest post by Christopher, an avid blogger from Tulsa, Oklahoma who is passionate about encouraging healthy family values for all communities while working with the Gorospe & Smith Tulsa Divorce Law Firm in his own community.
As much as we may wish for the best outcome in love and marriage, some marriages can be quite a struggle.
In a struggling marriage, one or both parties might find themselves wondering whether they should call a divorce attorney or a marriage counselor. Marriage counseling is frequently considered as an option for preventing divorce and mending broken marital relations.
However, many people wonder if marriage counseling really works.
Will marriage counseling actually save their marriage?
There isn’t one right answer to this question but are many factors to consider.
Sooner is Better.
If one person is already considering filing for divorce, it’s likely their spouse probably is too.
Maybe one of them has already contacted a divorce attorney. The effectiveness of marriage counseling can be greatly effected by how soon counseling is sought. Couples that wait too long might have issues too far ingrained in their relationship to ever fully recover.
The general consensus among therapists is that couples who seek therapy sooner, rather than later, see better results, and their relationships are more likely to recover.
The alternative is trying to break learned behaviors that have been the long time norm in the relationship and may even be abusive.
Also, the longer the relationship is suffering, the higher chance that one individual has already given up and therefore therapy would ultimately not fix the relationship.
The Right Therapist
Choosing the right therapist can have a profound effect on the results of marital counseling.
Both spouses need to feel like the therapist is the right choice and is fair. Sometimes one spouse may feel that the therapist is showing consistent favoritism or simply does not connect with the therapist, which can have a negative impact on the overall goal of fixing the marriage.
A therapist who is qualified is also an important consideration when choosing a marriage counselor.
Couples may wish to seek a therapist that specializes in marriage and family therapy to ensure they find the best qualified individuals for helping mend their relationship.
Couples should also feel consider to asking for references, checking credentials, and even requesting a free informational interview with prospective therapists to make sure both spouses feel the therapist is qualified and fits their needs.
The unfortunate truth is there is rarely a quick fix for couples considering separating.
The most effective marriage counseling is going to take more than a couple sessions in most cases. A common mistake that couples make when in marriage counseling is quitting too soon.
When both partners are committed to change and to fixing the marriage, couples may enter a blissful period where they’re moving forward and the relationship is improving.
However, continuing this trend is key and couples may be more likely to backslide into old habits without the guidance of their marriage counselor.
Couples should aim for 6 months or more in therapy before considering quitting it.
There are many factors to whether or not marriage counseling will be successful. The commitment of all parties is key. However, even when this is the case, some couples realize in marriage counseling that divorce truly is the right decision for them.