Why Everyone Must Work on Improving Their Confidence Today 41

Why Everyone Must Work on Improving Their Confidence Today - let's reach success

From what I’ve seen and experienced myself, and from what people have shared with me, lack of confidence seems to be the main thing that’s stopping us from taking action towards our goals.

There’s more to that, though. We also don’t approach new people, aren’t social because we don’t feel comfortable in our skin and thus miss out on what can be the next great relationship.

We are also too insecure to express our opinion. And, sadly, in life we can’t get what we want if we don’t ask for it. Confidence in our abilities is what helps us do it.

Lack of self-esteem makes us sabotage our own happiness and success as well. We consider failure an option, don’t believe we’ll make it this far and often don’t even start because of that, or give up early on.
Be if we were sure of our success, things would be different.

So without confidence, we can’t get far. But just imagine what we can achieve if we have it.

What if you were so confident in yourself and your abilities, that you never listened to the naysayers, didn’t care what others or society think of you, had no doubts, didn’t need any help or support, and could just get out there and take action towards your desires?!

I think that’s absolutely possible. What’s more, it’s a must if we want to live a life of abundance, and be happy with who we are and what we got.

But how do we gain confidence?

Two things must be done:

1. You should eliminate the things in your current life that are making you insecure and with low self-esteem.
2. You should be making small changes in your life and learning new behaviors in order to make confidence your second nature, just like you do with any other new habit you’re building.

So let’s take a look at each.

Eliminating What’s Making You Less Confident

In 8 Ways Other People and Stuff Suck The Self-Esteem Out of You I talk about the people in your life, and out of it, plus some other outer factors, that are making you doubt your abilities and be insecure.

In a nutshell, here are the 8 things I mention:

1. Parents.

Your parents make you believe you’re not good enough.

Solution: You don’t need anyone else’s approval or opinion in order to feel good enough. You’re already a unique individual and the only barriers stopping you from living the ideal lifestyle are the ones in your head.

2. Past failures.

Many people don’t believe they can succeed only because they’ve made mistakes in the past. But failure is a learning experience and no successful people have reached the top without experiencing defeats many times. It’s how we learn and grow. And how we eventually find what works.

Solution: Let go of the past. It has nothing to do with your present or future. Once you leave it behind with peace, you’ll see that it has nothing to do with your level of confidence. And you’ll be able to just give your new idea a try without comparing it to a project in the past that failed.

3. Society.

I talk about the fact that society gives us a wrong perception of what confidence consists of. According to others, a good-looking, rich, popular and busy person is allowed to have high self-esteem.

But in reality, such a person is rarely truly happy.

We can be confident right in this moment, even before we’ve achieved anything. Because this belief will help us build momentum and stay consistent when going after a dream.

You don’t need to change anything about yourself either, in order to be confident. You don’t need to make anyone like you. Those who respect you and appreciate you for who you are, however, will stick around. And they are the only ones you need.

“The moment you let go of insecurity, doubts and shyness, you can give everything in life a try without fearing it, can approach even the most unapproachable person and can see what life is all about.

So free yourself from everything society wants you to believe. And do what feels right, follow your own path, do more of what works for you and ignore what everyone else says.”

4. Comparison.

Comparing yourself to others is a habit most people share, but which makes them miserable and is a sign of insecurity and desperation.

If you think about it, it’s pointless. You have no right to compare yourself to others, as you don’t know what they’ve been trough. Also, no two people are like. You see the world differently and don’t have similar plans or goals. Which means you’re walking different paths. And why lose focus and lead astray from yours] just to compare your life to someone else’s?

Solution: Stop comparing. Appreciate what you have and who you are, and work on becoming a better version of yourself.

5. Environment.

As I’ve said before, environment is a big part of how successful you are. It affects your confidence, or the lack of it, too.

Solution: Start dressing for success, take care of yourself. Eliminate toxic people from your life – those how lower your self-esteem and make you doubt yourself. Get rid of things that remind you of who you were when you were insecure in the past.

6. Vocabulary.

Successful people use powerful and positive words. The rest, complain, are negative and always in doubt.

The words you use shape your identity and affect your thoughts and actions.

Solution: See how confident people speak, and start using their vocabulary. Remove negative words. Stop telling others that you want to be more confident. Instead, say that you already are.

I’m sure there are many other outer factors that have a negative influence on our self-esteem. But there’s a way to ignore or eliminate each. Don’t hesitate to analyze all these and do something about them today.

Making Confidence a Habit

First, decide that you’ll work on it and make it a priority. That means dedicating a little time daily to practice being more confident (by affirmations, meditation, talking to yourself in the mirror, watching someone you admire and imitating him, reading about the psychology of confidence, etc.)

Make a plan. Break it down to small steps.

Consistency is key, together with starting small. So I suggest you think of simple actions that take no more than 5 minutes to do 2-3 times daily.

Before you go out, tell yourself in the mirror how confident you are. Fake it by breathing deeply, smiling to yourself, standing straight and enjoying what you see.

When you’re out, focus on walking and talking with attitude, even if you don’t feel it in the beginning.

When in public, approach new people no matter how hard it is. It’s best to simply start a small talk without thinking too much. Do a few of these and you’ll feel much more comfortable the next few times.
That’s how you overcome shyness and deal with social anxiety too – by doing the one thing you’re scared of.

I believe gaining confidence can change your life. And if you haven’t seen progress for some time, it’s because you don’t believe in yourself enough to ask for more, to get out there and speak up, to take action, to connect with influencers, etc.

How confident are you in your opinion? And what can you do today to improve that?

Get The Lifestyle Designer's Digest
Directly into your inbox every Monday.
Previous ArticleNext Article

Becoming Your Own Boss: Tips on Getting a Business Off The Ground 8

How Writing a Blog Can Help You Live the Life You Dream About

Becoming your own boss is a complicated process, and not everyone does it the same way.

I got lucky. I was still working when I got my business off the ground, so I had a source of income while I was working the kinks out of my business. I did most of my work for the new business when I got home or on the weekends. I asked for a change in job responsibilities at the office so that I didn’t have as much on my plate.

This all gave me a chance to start earning money without going into debt. When it was feasible, I stopped working my regular job and transitioned into working for myself full time. It took about a year and a half.

Establish clear boundaries.


Sometimes people don’t take you seriously when you tell them that you work for yourself. They think you are always available to chat or have lunch.

I had a number of friends that would call me at all hours, assuming I was available because they wanted to talk. Granted, it was nice to have that freedom at first. But, I soon realized that if I was going to be successful, I couldn’t let those kinds of distractions interrupt my workday.

Save before you start working for yourself full time.

I was in pretty good shape when I made the transition, but looking back, a few more months with a paycheck would have been wonderful.

When you start your own business, money can be very tight. You never know what you are going to make month to month.

I had one customer that initially made up most of my revenue. That customer only paid on a quarterly basis, which meant that times were tough in between payments.

I had to spend money to build the business, which meant there wasn’t a lot left over. If I didn’t get a payment right on time, it was very difficult to deal with.

There were times when I had to ask for a loan from family members simply to pay my bills.

Reach out and build a support network.

4 Tips to Track Your Remote Employees' Progress Without Demoralizing Them

It can be really difficult to adjust at first. You have great days and you have terrible days. You meet goals some months, while other months you are left wondering where you went wrong.

If you make a mistake, you alone are responsible for it and your business and reputation can suffer. It is easy to feel depressed at times. You may even start to feel like you can’t handle running a business and that you made a big mistake when you left your office job.

Remember that you are not alone. All entrepreneurs have these moments, which is why it is so important to connect with others in the field.

Take time for yourself.

I had a honeymoon period of about half a year. It was really exciting to see the business get bigger. Each milestone that I met was a reason to celebrate.

However, heading into the second year, it was more difficult. I was tired. Things weren’t as exciting because they weren’t new anymore. And then, year three came along. I was done with working such long hours.

I was done with having no time off. Burnout is certainly an issue in this business, so you have to figure out how to balance your personal and your professional needs.

It took me a long time to get where I am today. I had to do a lot of research. I had to educate myself on business. I had to find an SEO expert. I had to figure out who my main competitors were and keep an eye on them. I also had to stay current with what was happening in the field so that I didn’t fall behind.

No matter how hard I worked, it seemed like I could never get caught up. Running a business is a big responsibility.

If you are interested in starting your own business, you want to set yourself up for success. Try to cut back on your living expenses. Make sure you have substantial savings. Set up an area in your home where you can work, free from distractions.

If you are married, get your spouse on board. He or she can help pay bills while you are getting your business off the ground.

Your business is only as good as you are.

Make sure you have a support system of other business professionals. These people can help you acknowledge your weaknesses, encourage you to keep moving forward and advise you on common mistakes.

You can try and go it alone, but it will be very difficult for you. As with anything else in life, your support network has a lot to do with your success. You are probably strongly invested in your business; after all, it is something that you created. Make sure you have people that you trust to help you along the way.


Grace Lee has been practicing in the field of digital marketing for several years now. She has already brought numerous sites in search engines’ first pages in search results. In her spare time, she loves listening to podcasts about Google algorithm updates and other matters related to SEO.