Your Plans Are Not Yours, Nature Decides 101

Your Plans Are Not Yours, Nature Decides

This is a guest post by Joseph Chukwube, a self-improvement writer and an experienced digital marketer.

A lot happen in our everyday life.

At some points, the situations will require us to make bold decisions that will determine what happens next in our lives. Such decisions are often never the easiest to make, but we still have to make them anyways.

While pondering over some of my growing up memories, I vividly remembered an experience that’ll undoubtedly teach you a thing or two about why to not get all tensed up or anxious whenever it’s time to make that “big” decision that’ll either take you to the next level in your life, or bring you down.

Backforward a bit to my early teens and in high school, I never really gave life that much of a big meaning.

All that really mattered to me was the fun I derive from almost everything.

Go to school mainly to hang out with friends, play games and enjoy the attention from the counterparts. I had really wished life would just go on this way for ever, without me having to deal with some back-breaking responsibilities like “working for money.”

I wished this moment would be infinite. Sadly, and yet fortunately, it wasn’t.

With time, the reality that life is really not a bed of roses started unfolding.

Without even realizing it, finishing high school that I always viewed as “a distant future stuff” was just around the corner.

Reluctantly, I embraced the fact that I had to plan for my life after high school and beyond.

But, with that childish mindset of mine that simply wanted to hang around with friends for eternity and enjoy the ladies attention, how do I go about this? Yet another huddle.

I wasn’t the best fan of books. I’d rather play video games with friends till dawn than sit alone with a book all day long.

So, I know for a fact that, besides the knowledge I grabbed hold of whenever I’m less playful in school, I don’t have enough knowledge to navigate through life on my own. But then, with my very busy siblings as guardians, my life and whatever I choose to do with it was basically on my own hands. Meaning, I had to take charge.

Where do I go from here?

5 Types of College Friendships That Matter for Student Success

Should I seek a consultant’s counselling? Nahh.. it’ll probably not go well because he/she don’t know me well enough, besides, there wasn’t any within my reach anyways.

“I’ll just go talk with friends to see what plans they have with their lives, perhaps, I could get good ideas for mine upon hearing theirs,” This was the only temporary solution I could come up with at this point.

Having had some of the smartest friends, they all seemed well-organised and well-informed of what they want to do with their lives.

I asked a couple of them about their plans. They did tell me and it was all good and seemed perfect for them. But, none of their plans was a thing I would want to go into myself. Not because it was bad, but because, long story short, I know my limits and I didn’t have what it takes to really follow any of my friend’s path. Or better still, so I thought.

So, consulting an expert is a no go and meeting friends didn’t turn out well, where’d I go from here?

Meanwhile, time was not a thing I had plentifully at this point.

A lot of the final exams (4 exams in total) were fast approaching, and the pace was so close, one exam after the other with no breathing space whatsoever.

Perhaps, surfing the net for self-realization tips could help.

So, I gave it a go and I was guided to some pretty basic questions that will, expectedly, help me discover what to do with my life.

The questions I could remember were:

  • What is my passion? I wasn’t sure about this because I literally just like stuffs that’ll give me little or no stress and make me happy. Is playing games and hanging out with friends really my passion? I couldn’t decide.
  • What is my special skill? Again, this didn’t go well — I had a couple of physical and intellectual skills, but I never really focused on or tried to master any — so, I wasn’t sure either.

As a result, the self-realization tips didn’t do much good. And I still haven’t figured out where I was headed at this point.

Fast forward a bit, I wrote the exams, excelled excellently in some, had some little issues in others, but it was all good.

Without having any special reasons to pursue any course yet, I decided to just apply for medicine.

Why? Well, because, doctors are often pretty neat, smart, well-paid, and they all probably lead their desired lifestyle.

A korean movie I saw at that age, Doctor Stranger, also depicted this, making “being a doctor” seem really cool.

With a result that I wasn’t sure if it was good enough to grant me admission into the course, I applied to study medicine, not highly expectant of anything.

The freedom I always desired is what I wasn’t sure if I would still have in abundance upon becoming a doctor. But so far, medicine seemed like the best option so, medicine it is.

Everything falls in place just in time.

What’s My Word for 2017 and Why You Should Have One Too

Before I could or could not get admission to study medicine, another path, which would happen to be the best I could ask for, opened up for me.

I was introduced to an Uncle of mine, Master Bamidele Onibalusi, a successful and renowned digital marketer, writer and blogger with years of experience and proven-credibility in the field.

At this point, I still don’t know my passion, but digital marketing seemed really promising. Without really seeing myself as worthy to venture into the field, I pushed through thanks to my Uncle’s persistent counselling, motivation and teachings.

Meanwhile, I had cancelled my school application to enable me fully focus on the Digital marketing for at least a year or two to see what happens.

Fast forward a bit and just like that, myself, who was short of ideas, confused about what I want, ignorant of what degree is best for me and left alone to discover all these by myself, is gradually becoming better and better off as a digital marketer.

Enjoys the freedom I crave so much. Gets to work with great brands like Colorlib, which was founded by experienced and successful theme builder and internet entrepreneur, Aigars Silkalns. And also try to make as much positive impact I can in the world through my blog.

Plans become clear when the time is right.

This brought me to an instant realization that, though it’s important to plan ahead, nature always have this superior and somewhat most befitting plans for us.

Most often, we fight so hard to make things happen. We get so distressed and depressed when things don’t happen as we want, we lose hope when things don’t seem to be working out fine. But this isn’t right.

With that little growing up experience, I was made to I believe that whenever our plans are not working out as planned, it’s because those plans are not befitting enough for us. If we push through with such plans, the end result will often not be a very good one.

Key Takeaway

Plan for your life as much as you can. As a matter of fact, the only person that can save you is you.

However, when you’ve tried your possible best and nothing seems to be working out, nature probably has another, and arguably, most befitting plan for you. At this point, pause and remind yourself that, “Que Sera Sera” (Whatever will be, will be.)

Though I’m still thinking of what degree to pursue once the gap year I took from school to work is over, I still haven’t decided any degree yet. But I’m certain of the fact that, when the time is right, I’ll get the idea of what degree to study.

Why? Que sera sera.

Get The Lifestyle Designer's Digest
Directly into your inbox every Monday.
Previous ArticleNext Article

9 Ways to Handle Change in Your Life [Infographic] 19

9 Ways to Handle Change in Your Life [Infographic]

When a big change happens in your life, it doesn’t have to be a negative change to have a huge impact on you.

Change causes uncertainty and our brains and bodies react to uncertainty by trying to protect us with the release of fight or flight chemicals and hormones.

The downside to this is that living with these for an extended time results in elevated heart rate and affects your digestion, immune systems and blood flow.

But there are ways you can regain control over your life even in the midst of big changes.

The first is to take a step back and reflect on what’s actually happening and what your involvement is, which will help you to understand and find perspective on the situation. Hopefully, this will enable you to find the opportunities that every change in your life brings, rather than obsessing over any short-term negative impacts.

It may also help you to allow yourself a transition period where you adjust to the changes. But with a firm deadline by which you expect to have moved on and settled into the new routine. Even if it doesn’t quite work out that way, it will still push you towards visualizing the end of the uncertainty, which will prepare you to make it happen sooner rather than later.

On a more basic level, you need to remember to look after yourself during this time of change and the related stresses.

It can be too easy to fall into bad habits like neglecting your own simple needs, like a good night’s sleep and staying active and eating right when you are going through something like this. Having a day in your pajamas eating ice cream out of the tub is fine. But your body needs sleep, exercise and nutrition to keep you healthy.

Routine can be a comfort when it feels like everything in your life is changing.

So try and stick to some simple ones like walking your dog every morning or going to a regular gym class to give your life some stability and consistency.

You also need the help and support of those around you. And having a strong support network is crucial when it comes to coping with big changes in your life. This means family and friends, but you could also seek out people going through similar experiences by looking online. There may well be communities who you can talk to and get helpful tips from.

Most importantly of all, you need to be aware of when you need more than just the love and support of other people to help you cope with stress and uncertainty. If you start to feel like your mental health is really suffering, or you have been feeling the symptoms of stress for more than a couple of months, you need to go and talk to a health professional to get the help you need to bounce back.

You can read more practical tips about dealing with change and the symptoms it causes in this infographic from Pounds to Pocket.