The Truth About Finding Your Purpose: It’s Not What You Think
Finding our purpose in life is one of the most important things we can do with our time. I’ve definitely devoted a lot of time on that, and it involved a lot of confusion, overwhelm, hopelessness and time wasted on the wrong things.
My definition of purpose has changed more times than I can count, and I was just recently reminded that it can evolve. It’s not meant to be a one-time discovery. And that’s the secret about finding your purpose.
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How Purpose Evolves as You Grow
In a recent post, I shared that I stopped drinking alcohol and that opened a whole new world of possibilities and personal growth to me.
I have a lot to write about it, and it already feels like my next mission, or a part of my mission (as it can include more than one thing).
I feel like helping others (not alcoholics, but just people who drink due to peer pressure, out of habit, because it’s so socially acceptable, or because they think it’s just the right thing to do).
I want to do that by leading by example, sharing my journey, dealing with the challenges on the way, and introducing this lifestyle change and its amazing benefits to whoever needs to hear this.
It feels like that will make the world a better place. Right now, it feels like this is more important than everything else I teach.
It has purpose. But it also could be that it’s directly related to what I’m going through right now. I feel it deeply. I’m shocked at what has always been available to me had I quit alcohol earlier, and I want that for others too.
So what does this mean about my purpose in life?
You Won’t Find Your Purpose Once – You’ll Keep Finding It Forever
A long time ago, that truth would have disappointed me. But in a not so black and white mentality, it actually feels liberating.
That’s my truth, of course. It doesn’t need to be yours.
It’s hard for me to stick to just one niche in business. I feel limited.
I cover personal growth and business, two massive topics that have so many subcategories (each of which can be a niche on its own).
When I start a family, my mission will change drastically. I will become a different version of myself. I will have so much more compassion for other parents, and especially moms. I will want to help mostly them (be it with my business advice or all my content).
I might start sharing my parenting journey then.
And while this happens for many things in my life, it doesn’t necessarily happen for everything.
For example, even though sports are important to me and the gym contributes to my life a lot, I never felt the need to talk about that. Not even to friends. I also don’t consume content on that topic. I just go to the gym, join group lessons, and enjoy the benefits.
I also like beauty hacks and constantly learn about relationships and the psychology behind them. But I don’t really create content around that. It’s something that’s a big part of my life, and even of my daily life, but it doesn’t need to be documented. I don’t feel like it’s what I should be teaching, and I don’t feel like I know enough about it.
It’s for personal use. There’s no sense of purpose in it.
Technically, anything you see progress with and know a lot about can be taught online and turned into a business. But if the deeper desire and passion for it are lacking, then it’s probably not your mission. Your purpose is in something else.
Life Happens in Chapters—So Does Your Purpose
Think of life like a book with many chapters. What drives you in your 20s might not fulfill you in your 30s and 40s.
Each stage brings new lessons and directions, and it’s totally okay to feel like a whole new version of yourself and as if your whole purpose changed.
Others around you may not get it, and that’s okay.
You may feel like you don’t fit in anymore, that you need new friends, a career change, or to move elsewhere. If your heart is telling you this, you can listen to it and take action.
When things feel stuck (especially when you’re finding your purpose and don’t see any progress), action beats overthinking.
Just do something. Mark Manson calls it The Do Something Principle.
For example, I only discovered this (sober living) as my new purpose after quitting alcohol. It came to the new version of me, to the person who was ready to share that, felt confident about it, and wants to learn all about it and then teach it online.
First came the action, then came the purpose.
Maybe that would be the case for you too. And that’s tricky too. Sometimes you’ll know with clarity what the next right move is. And other times your intuition will be quiet, you will be distracted, and everything will feel messy and meaningless. But you still need to take action.
This way you let your purpose reveal itself to you.
Give it as long as it takes. In the big picture, it won’t really matter if it took a few more months or years.
And you may think you’ve found your purpose now, but in 10 years your mission can change completely. Then it can feel so big and so right, that you’ll realize this was your true life purpose, not what you thought that was before.
Don’t forget that multiple purposes can exist at the same time. If 2 or 3 big topics are on your mind all the time, if you can combine them in a unique way, if your heart is leading you in multiple directions, maybe you’re not meant to be limited by one mission in life.
You don’t need to have a fixed role in life. You don’t need to stick to one thing if it doesn’t feel aligned.
Your path is unique and no one else but you knows how that looks and where it takes you.
Finding your purpose can continue forever.
What a beautiful thing to know.
All you need to know is what the next step is, the next chapter. You don’t need to know how or when the book ends, or where your journey will ultimately take you.
Discovering yourself is the journey of a lifetime, and your next purpose is just around the corner. It could also be your first one, and that’s totally okay. It doesn’t matter if you’re 40 or 60 and have never defined it before. It’s never too late.
So these are the thoughts I wanted to share with you today. I hope that inspires you.
Let me know if you’ve found your purpose, and whether it was once or multiple times. I’d love to hear that. You can email me at lidiya [at] letsreachsuccess.com.
