How to Define What You Want in Life (+ The 23 Keys to Success) 91

How to Define What You Want in Life (+ The 23 Keys to Success)

This is a guest post by Carmen Jacob, co-founder of She is the creator of several personal growth programs, courses, and books, which focus on using what you already have to improve your life and the life of those around you.

Do you know what you want to achieve in life?

There are a handful of people that know exactly what they want in life, but most people have only idealistic ideas about that..

“Idealistic ideas” means to aspire and dream to accomplish what you feel that you should work for or what you might get in a perfect world.

The world is not perfect, and your dreams and goals need to be something that you desire and not something that you should achieve because this is what society expects from you.

What could happen to you to get to a point where you feel you don’t want anything?

  • First, you might believe that you are ungrateful for what you already have/ accomplished;
  • Second, you feel pressured to work for goals that are not coming out of your passion, needs, desires, and aspirations but from what someone else wants from you;
  • Third, you might lack the confidence to dream, aspire and wish out of the fear that you can’t achieve them.
  • Fourth, you’ve been disappointed too many times in the past wanting things that never came to fruition.
  • Fifth, you might have low self-esteem and think that you don’t deserve to get more of what you already have.

Related: The 10 Confidence Habits That Helped Me Increase Self-Esteem

What can you do to get out of not wanting (truly) anything?

1. Understand that being grateful for what you already have means not wanting even more.

Wanting more and more is not greed, it is a necessity. It is the way you stay alive. It is not about owning more and more stuff; it is about holding more and more dreams and goals. Because having dreams and goals to accomplish and aspire to gives an added purpose to your life.

Having no dreams and goals pushes you into apathy and apathy is the last step towards losing the desire to live.

2. Set your own goals and pursue them.

People that love you want the best for you, and sometimes, their desire to help is misguided and misguiding.

Growing up, almost everything I want to accomplish was received with the “[that] is not for you” from my parents. The tone wasn’t saying the I couldn’t get that something, but that something never seemed good enough for me. My goals and dreams never seemed worthy enough of the effort needed.

When other people feel the need to dream for you, that could come from three reasons:

  • Either they expect you to accomplish something that they’ve dreamed and couldn’t achieve
  • Either, they feel that you have no dreams of your own,
  • Either, they believe, strongly that you are much more capable than you think.

Improve your interpersonal skills so that you can start dreaming for yourself without alienating the people that love you.

3. Stop limiting yourself.

The 4 Most Powerful Realizations We Need to Come To

Your dreams and aspirations should know no boundaries. Allow your imagination to fly because imagining what you want gives you a great insight of how to get there.

Motivation and confidence, in my view, are overrated. Instead of being tools to achieve what you want, if you wait to have them before even daring to start dreaming, you might feel stuck.

It is a shame to have all those talents, abilities and knowledge that you have and not give yourself the chances to use them.

Stop conditioning your dreams and aspirations by how motivated or confident you might feel. Start putting a foot in front of the other and walk!

The road is yours, the dream is yours. And when you don’t feel confident or motivated for your goal, crave the experience of getting there no matter how far you believe you can get.

4. Dream big and dream small.

Set for yourself big goals and small goals so that you are in balance. Make sure that your dreams and goals depend only on you to achieve them.

5. Improve your self-esteem, acknowledge that you are a valuable person.

You are as worthy and as deserving to dream as the next person is.

If you still don’t feel that you want something more, something better, start by asking yourself:

  • What is missing right now from your life?
  • What would be the simplest, easiest goal you can achieve today?
  • What was the biggest dream in your childhood that you never get to achieve? No matter how childish could sound now, do it.

Related: Defining What You Don’t Want in Life and The Path to The Ideal Lifestyle

Remember, you have the right to dream and dreaming provides an added purpose to your life.

In case you need some inspiration to get started, here are the 23 keys to success that will get you where you want to be in life:

The 23 Keys to Success in Life

Source: How to be Successful: 23 Keys to Success in Life

What about you? Have you defined what you want in life? What’s the next step to getting there?






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What the Richest People in the World Have in Common 4

What the Richest People in the World Have in Common

Getting rich is something everyone dreams about.

For those facing financial hardships, getting rich seems the only way out to tide over shortage of money. For the bourgeoisie – the working class – getting rich conjures up visions of stuff they want to buy for luxury or higher social status. Millionaires also wish to get rich: they want to become billionaires and enter Forbes List of the world’s wealthiest people.

Unless you inherit a fortune or get lucky at lottery or sweepstakes, getting rich can be quite tough.

Yet, there are countless rags-to-riches stories around the world. Enterprises such as Amazon, KFC, Facebook or SpaceX have become runaway successes within a short span. The reason: their founders have several things in common, which is rare among other people.

Here we look at various traits that the world’s richest and most successful entrepreneurs have in common.

The Common Traits of The World’s Richest People

The Common Traits of The World's Richest People

1. Serving People.

“If your only goal is to become rich, you will never achieve it,” said John D. Rockefeller, who laid the foundation stone for America’s giant petroleum industry and his own enterprise, Standard Oil. The same adage holds good today.

Facebook, for example, was launched by Mark Zuckerberg and his roommate, Eduardo Saverin to allow Harvard University students to share profiles and pictures

There are countless such examples of ordinary people striking rich. However, they share one thing in common: serving people. The main objective of launching these enterprises was to make life easier or enjoyable for people rather than earning money.

2. Reading Books.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates, celebrity TV show host Oprah Winfrey, SpaceX and Tesla CEO Elon Musk, Berkshire-Hathaway CEO Warren Buffet and several other extremely rich people of the world have one more thing in common: they are avid readers.

Bill Gates reads at least 50 books every year – an average of nearly four and a half books per month.

Elon Musk owes his success at SpaceX, the project to open space tourism to his love for books and the knowledge he gained from them about rocketry. Oprah Winfrey attributes her success to dozens of books, including some 70 top titles she read on her way to success while Warren Buffet spends about 80 percent of his day reading books.

3. Long-Term Financial Strategies.

A report by CNBC states, all wealthy people depend upon long-term financial strategies rather than short-term gains. They utilized their earnings and savings to invest in safe stocks that would assure gains in the long run rather than indulging in risky trading that can offer high returns.

Such financial planning and decisions ensured they do not lose money. Further, they invested money in their enterprises without the hope of immediate returns.

These wealthy people first focused on building a brand, offering value for people to identify with the brand. And later, popularize the brand through word-of-mouth publicity, which is more effective than traditional advertising.

4. Never Say Die.

Yet another common character trait shared by the world’s richest people is, they are not quitters.

Like every other human on Earth, these wealthy folks also witnessed ups and downs in life. Some of these were so overwhelming most ordinary people would have called it quits and gone in search of easier ventures.

Brian Chesky, Joe Gebbia and Nathan Bleckharczyk, founders of Airbnb, the world’s largest hotels and accommodations aggregator were plagued with financial problems.


Heavily encumbered with debts, bankruptcy was staring at these entrepreneurs in the very eye. Yet, they did not budge. They innovated their service that made Airbnb the world leader in its field today.

Another excellent example is Colonel Harland Sanders, whose recipe for fried chicken was rejected as many as 1,009 times before it was accepted. Col. Sanders is the founder of global chain Kentucky Fried Chicken or KFC.

5. Accepting Criticism.

Most people flee from criticism of any sort. Rather than learning from negative comments arising out of their behavior or work, they take umbrage rather quickly. Yet, they do not bother to amend their behavior or work pattern.

All wealthy people, however, are different. They are willing to be criticized for introducing new ideas or thoughts.

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, rightly says that those who will try and do something new must be willing to draw criticism.

Steve Jobs, founder, Apple, Inc. puts it in even stronger words: “If you want to make everyone happy, do not become a leader; sell ice cream instead.”

The success of Amazon and Apple proves their founders were right when it came to accepting criticism.

6. Out of The Box Thinking.

how regular life looks like and why it won't make you happy

Thinking outside of the ‘box’ or a typical mindset is often impossible for most people. Understandably, because everyone draws their mindset from factors and circumstances they are raised and educated in.

This mindset eventually becomes a formidable fetter for anyone wanting to become an entrepreneur. Generally, most people follow the flock and take professions they falsely believe as best suited for their skills. Others try to follow footsteps of their parents.

The wealthiest people in the world never followed flock or took lucrative professions of their parents.

Mark Zuckerberg’s father was a dentist and mom – a psychiatrist. Bill Gates’ dad was a banker father while his mother was a lawyer.

Despite coming from wealthy families, they chose to follow their passion rather than confine their thinking to the proverbial boxed mindset. Col. Sanders had lost his parents at a young age of six years and had to shoulder responsibilities of his siblings.

Other Examples of What The Wealthiest People Have in Common

As we can see, these qualities or personality traits are common to the world’s richest people. It sets them apart from others. Most of them launched small enterprises with the sole purpose of bettering the lives of people. Their products or services gained popularity because money was never their consideration. Widespread use of their technology, products, and services eventually led them to become wealthy.

These traits are not typical to the US or the western world, as one may mistakenly come to believe. A glance at some richest people in India and elsewhere also reveals, they share the same characteristics with their American counterparts. This amply proves that richest people around the world share something in common, regardless of where they live and flourish.

Another common trait that all rich people share in common is philanthropy.

Since childhood, they believe in giving back to the society and helping the underprivileged. They practiced charity when they were not so rich and continue to donate money for the betterment of the society even after becoming billionaires.

These richest people on the planet never waited to become wealthy. Instead, they were philanthropists since childhood – a trait most other people pathetically lack or try to foist upon themselves to gain popularity.

In Conclusion

It is not easy to become wealthy. Or everyone would become a millionaire. People who do make it to the top have a different way of thinking combined with an undying zest for learning new things and educating themselves.

They do not consider conventional learning at universities as the end of their education. Instead, they try and acquire new skills every day and find ways and means to become better humans rather than focusing on fattening their purses.

The world’s wealthiest people also share one common trait: they are not people pleasers, despite their generosity and willingness to serve the society. Because they know, trying to please everyone will get them nowhere and could mean possible failure.