The Importance of Give and Take in Relationships

Learn the importance of give and take in relationships, and tips on how to improve your relationship

“Give and take” is a mechanism inherent to all personal relationships – you cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn. Once the balance between give and take is broken, difficulties arise and partners feel they are not getting too much from their relationship.

The real problem is, in fact, not giving enough – you reap what you sow, as the biblical saying puts it.

Have you ever been in a relationship where one person did nothing but give and the other only received selfishly?

In some cases, those who give all the time don’t allow themselves to receive anything in return – this problem needs to be addressed as well.

Let’s consider an example:

Joe and Sarah are a married couple. Sarah does the housekeeping by herself, runs errands, and makes sure Joe has everything he needs, from preparing his breakfast to ironing his shirts.

She also joins him at sporting events and action movies, even if she doesn’t really enjoy them. One time, Sarah asks Joe to join her at a play she wanted to go to for ages, but he refuses.

Sarah feels very disappointed and starts complaining about all the times she never received anything in return.

In other couples, the situation is slightly different:

Alice has had a very busy week. One of the children got sick, she had to finish an important project at work, and her friend asked her to take care of her dog while she was away from town. Her husband, John, offered to clean the house for the weekend, but she refused replying that he would not do it the right way.

On the other hand, Alice is so tired every evening that she falls asleep as soon as she jumps into bed and they never have time to talk to each other or spend time together.

In both cases, “give and take” doesn’t function well.

In the first example, Joe needs to become less selfish and learn how to give. While in the second story, Alice should stop being a perfectionist, delegate some of her work, and learn how to receive.

Is your relationship similar to one of the two cases? Here are some ways to fine-tune daily interactions with your partner and achieve a perfect balance between give and take:

5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

how to give and take in relationships

1. Conversation.

Conversation is not just about exchanging information. People talk to each other to share feelings, to get relief, and to re-assure themselves when they are dealing with problems.

Common mistakes in a conversation are talking only about yourself and not being an active listener.

Speak about your problems and concerns, but also offer the other person the chance to talk as well and really listen to them, instead of interrupting and focusing again just on your person.

2. Mutual help.

Has your wife prepared your favorite dish last weekend? If she asks you to help her buy a new dress, join her and be patient while she tries on every outfit.

A relationship where one partner does all the efforts and the other always refuses to provide help to the same extent is misbalanced and unfulfilling.

3. Giving compliments.

Compliments are a vital part of a healthy relationship.

Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – on top of the pyramid we have self-actualization.

Oftentimes, your partner needs you to observe their personal growth and recognize their achievement or qualities. From telling your spouse how great they look before going out to dinner to showing your admiration for their results at work, a well-thought and honest compliment every day can make wonders in your relationship.

4. Accepting flows.

Nobody is perfect, that’s for sure, but some people react more negatively to their partner’s mistakes.

Each time you get angry because your spouse left home this morning without washing the dishes, think about a similar situation where you didn’t meet their expectations either, but they reacted less violently. Is the fight worth it, after all?

5. Giving space.

Being involved in a relationship doesn’t mean you should be together 24/7 and not accept your partner’s decision of spending time separately.

Understand that people in a relationship can have their own hobbies or do activities with other people as well, and also enjoy your time alone – it will do both of you good!

Putting these pieces of advice into practice may be difficult in the beginning, or make you feel awkward. But, if you feel your relationship needs improvement, doing things the same way as you always have won’t make a difference.

Find your missing part of the equation and learn how to be both a giver and a receiver!

Covey, Stephen R. (2013). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Principles of empathic communication 263-270
McLeod, Saul (2014). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

About The Author

That’s a guest post by the Couples Clinic, an organization of Winnipeg relationship therapists (

Learn the importance of give and take in relationships together with 5 simple and effective tips on how to have a give and take relationship with your partner:

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4 Tips for Newlyweds to Manage Their Finances Flawlessly

4 Tip for Newlyweds to Manage Their Finances Flawlessly

June is around the corner!

What does it remind you?

Isn’t it the smell of champagne and roses?

Yes! It’s again the time to rejoice the cheerful wedding bells. So, if you are planning to tie the knot soon, congratulations!

Howbeit, preparations for the wedding day might be making you worried over these months. Whether it is about picking up the wedding dress or booking a caterer for the wedding feast, your finance is moving upside down!

But, wait!

Don’t think that such monetary hotchpotch will come to an end after the wedding day. There’s still a long way to go! You and your partner are going to spend your entire life together. So, both of you have to practically start thinking about how to manage money.

No! I am definitely not scaring you! It is just that the approach in which you’ve been handling finance till now have to change now. After marriage, it’s not just you, it’s about you and your partner living together.

So, it is required for you to understand the basic know-hows effectively.

Read on to get an idea. 

1. A Serious Talk on Pecuniary Goals and Habits

You both are staying together, it’s essential to know each other’s financial point of views. Especially, you can remind your parents in such a situation. For example, how your parents used to manage money, when they used to pay the bills, what have been their successful financial decisions, and so on. It will let you both curate your financial life perfectly.

Also, you need to discuss your habits when it comes to managing money. Whether you are a saver or spender, how you usually decide on purchasing something, what your reaction will be if there is a sudden financial loss etc.

Once you are done with understanding each other’s habits, figure out a suitable way to manage money, and that’s it!

2. Stick to Your Budget.

When it’s about spending money, be cautious and stick to your plan. Let no any indulgence drive you towards unnecessary expenses. You and your partner both should cultivate this habit to save remarkably.

Moreover, you’ve to always look for smarter ways to save your hard-earned dollars. For example, learn how you should use things limitedly for household chores, how you can save on shopping etc.

One of the smartest ideas could be grabbing the lucrative discounts and coupons while purchasing everything, whether it is a small household stuff or any prominent furniture or jewellery. Additionally, there are a number of such exhilarating websites now which can let you always fetch the right discount at the right time!

Browse through the websites like Dealslands and many such others present around, you’ll definitely start believing in what I mentioned above. 

3. Numbers Are Important.

When it comes to managing finances together, you and your partner should share every related information. You should start with tallying up your asset and debts. Next, just subtract the debts from assets to determine your self-worth. Most importantly, don’t hesitate to inform your income to each other.

The conversation between you both should be open and honest. There should remain no scope for any hidden fact. The more transparently you will talk, the more perfect your financial plan will be.

4. How Do Your Budgetary Habits Differ from Your Partner’s?

It is very important for you to figure out the difference between how you and your partner think about money.

Try to find out the agreeable amount of saving for you both. You should understand what his/her priority is when it comes to paying off the debts or spending on quality things, what money saving traditions that he/she thinks are absolutely non-negotiable, and so on.

Once you have a clearer idea, an impeccable plan for managing your bucks will be ready! 

This is how you need to start planning your finances together to attain unparalleled results. Initially, it might be quite unnatural for you to understand the aforementioned facts. Well, it’s nothing wrong with that! You are new to this life.

However, don’t lag behind in following these tips in future. Thus, to manage finance as a family will not be tough at all!

About The Author

Arina is the marketing manager at DealsLands, coupons and discounts provider company. She is passionate about fashion, make-up, beauty treatment and lifestyle. In addition, Arina also supports non-profit agencies that provide healthcare solutions to handicapped and disabled people.

You and your partner need to discuss your habits when it comes to managing money. Once you are done with understanding each other's financial habits, you can figure out a suitable way to handle savings, expenses, budgeting, and more. Here are four great tips for newlyweds: #moneymanagement #newcouple #newlywed #moneytips