5 Steps to Fixing Your Relationship with Yourself

5 Steps to Fixing Your Relationship with Yourself - letsreachsuccess.com lidiya k

Next on your way to loving yourself comes an important step-by-step process – reconnecting with your inner self, finding reasons to appreciate yourself for who you are and fixing the bad behaviors that lead to suffering, lack of confidence and not taking action to find your life’s purpose and follow your dreams.

Here’s what you need to pay attention to:

1. Forgive yourself.

You can’t be happy or find meaning in your days or peace of mind unless you have forgiven yourself.

To forgive is to know that it was what it was but it doesn’t have to be what it will be. It’s to understand that all the mistakes you made in the past, the times you didn’t take action, the words you didn’t say, the goals you never achieved, all this was just as it was supposed to be. It doesn’t mean you won’t perform better in the future.

Not forgiving means carrying the burden of the past. It’s when you’re blaming yourself for all the things that went wrong, all the people who left you, all the times you lost hope, or didn’t take opportunities. But remember that at that exact moment, it was what you wanted. You were a different person then and you should respect your past decisions. Because of them you are who you’ve become.

Blaming is self-destructive. Don’t bring any negative emotions from the past to your present. Instead, enjoy what you’re doing now and who you are today, and look forward to who you’ll become.

2. Appreciate yourself.

Here are some things we usually forget but which can let us be thankful for who we are. And that appreciation can soon turn into love:

– all the small wins so far – we remain blind for our past successes and often choose to look only at the defeats. But what about all the times you exceeded in your career, learned something new, got a good grade on a test, showed courage when things were difficult, spoke up when no one else could, refused to settle down for less than you deserve, took a chance and made the most of it, etc?

These are the things you should smile about. What’s best, these successes can be replicated and you can accomplish much more if you’re determined enough. The past proves that you can do it. So what’s stopping you from succeeding again?;

– the compliments we received – a great exercise that will lift you up and remind you why you’re worth it is to list all the compliments you’ve ever received from other people. Others are able to notice good qualities of ours when we refuse to, and that’s encouraging;

– the good deeds – go back in time and think about all the times you helped others, gave advice, motivated someone to take action, did favors, etc. These are part of your good personality, don’t ignore that side of yours.

There’s plenty of stuff to appreciate about yourself already. Sometimes we’re just looking in the wrong direction.

3. Take care of yourself.

Habits Are The New Goals: Why Habits Matter and Where to Start

In order to create self love in your life again, you’ll have to show that to yourself. If you’re constantly neglecting your health, appearance, feelings and peace of mind, you’ll be negative, discouraged and in a bad shape.

That’s why living a healthier lifestyle, having some special rituals, making time for what matters, doing things you enjoy and having some me time is crucial for your physical, spiritual and mental health.

You’ll see what some of these good habits to develop are in the last chapter of the book. Turning them into daily practices will let you feel energetic, be in a good mood, be calm and peaceful, unleash your positivity and creativity, and be productive and get things done.

For now, just know that you should be taking care of yourself more.

Begin by resting properly. A good night’s sleep, taking regular breaks during work, spending some time alone and in silence, and meditating – all these are great ways to get the rest you need.

Most people are keeping themselves busy all day and that makes them stressed out and exhausted. When they get home, they keep thinking about what happened during the day, bring their work and problems with them, or are overwhelmed with what must be done the next day.

That ruins their sleep and they wake up in a bad mood and start the day in a negative way. Such a vicious circle.

Having some peaceful me time can help a lot here. A great way to get it is to wake up a bit earlier and enjoy the early morning. It’s quiet, no one else is up at that time, it’s perfect for some inspiring and creative activities like writing, reading, getting some focused work done or brainstorming new ideas for your business. In the end of the book, you’ll learn how to create a whole morning ritual like that to set yourself up for a successful and productive day.

4. Trust yourself.

If you’ve let yourself down a couple of times, and haven’t taken the steps above to fix your relationship with yourself, you probably don’t trust yourself.

That’s when you don’t try again after failure because you don’t believe you can do it, when you let others take decisions on your behalf, or don’t follow your dreams because you don’t listen to your true desires and don’t trust your guts.

All this is how you show disrespect to your soul, body and mind and get even further from loving yourself.

So stop these. Instead, start to actively listen to your inner voice, go with the flow and believe that whatever happens, you’ll be fine, do the things you enjoy, take decisions fast without overthinking, listen to your heart and do what it says even if it’s against all odds.

Communicate with yourself more often by spending some time alone, asking yourself questions and trying to answer them honestly, noticing your feelings and the emotions that arise in different situations. Your body and such inner conversations can tell you a lot about yourself that you may have missed over the years.

Say yes to things you feel like doing even when it doesn’t make sense, and learn to say no to others when they want you to go against your nature.

This will help you be your true and best self.

Build self-trust and see how your life transforms in more than one way.

5. Things to stop doing to yourself.

Now, let’s see what bad behaviors you should avoid to live in peace and improve your relationship with yourself:

– giving up on your dreams – if you think about something often, it’s worth pursuing it. Don’t give up early on, there’s always another way to get there. Only after you’ve tried all possible options, can you move onto another goal;

– criticizing –  instead, you should be your biggest motivator. Don’t be too harsh on yourself, be alright with the mistakes, accept them as part of the journey to success, and go try again or something else;

– not staying true to yourself and your values – this happens when you listen to others just to please them, or do what you’re supposed to do even though it’s not something you want;

– lying to yourself – that’s an awful thing to do. So many people live in an illusion, don’t ever express their true feelings, pretend to be happy, try to convince themselves that they are doing the right thing, or else. But deep inside, you always know that this is not true. And you won’t be satisfied or able to forgive yourself and move on peacefully if you don’t put everything on the table and start from there;

– not keeping your promises – when you make a promise to yourself, be it to change an aspect of your lifestyle, stop letting someone treat you badly or go after something you’ve wanted for so long, you should do everything you can to keep it. Otherwise, you’re letting yourself down, which results in lack of self trust and thus you become even unhappier;

– doing things you don’t like – it may be your job, spending time with people you don’t want around you, taking up a sport you don’t enjoy or else. None of this is necessary. You can decide to ditch it at any moment, and instead do things you enjoy, which you’re good at, and which bring you results;

– feeling bad about your weaknesses – that’s a waste of time. Even trying to improve them isn’t the best choice. Because there are so many other things you feel confident in, which come naturally to you and even skills you can master. Take a look at your strengths and work on them even more. That will help you build self-esteem too.

So these are the actions you should take and the practices you should adopt early on to start building a bridge to your heart.

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How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money

How This Family Guy Makes $10,000/Month Online Teaching Others How to Make, Save and Invest Money - Interview with R.J. Weiss from TheWaystoWealth.com

This is an interview-style post with R.J. Weiss from The Ways to Wealth.

Hey R.J. What’s your background and what do you do?

I blog about all things personal finance at The Ways to Wealth.

Before I went full-time into blogging, I spent ten years in the financial services industry. Specifically, helping families buy the right type of life insurance.

During my time with a full-time job, I’ve always had different side hustles going on. From freelance writing, Amazon FBA, conversion rate optimization, to website design — there were many projects I pursued outside of work.

How did you start your career in finance?

I got started in finance straight out of college working for my the family insurance business. As I love the financial planning side of things, I choose to specialize in life insurance planning. This led me down the path to obtaining the CFP® Certification.

What made you start blogging?

The Ways to Wealth, which I started in 2016, has been my 5th blog.

The others mostly fizzled out most due to a lack of interest. But, in 2009 I started a personal finance blog called GenYWealth.com (no longer around) that had some success.

The idea GenYwealth.com was to write about what I was learning about studying to take the CFP®. The blog was, by all means, a success. I was able to gain valuable knowledge, pass the CFP® exam, earn some extra money and build up a good community.

I then took this knowledge and started a business blog, which allowed the insurance agency I was working for to generate leads.

I started The Ways to Wealth because my passion is personal finance–from investing to travel hacking, I love the challenge of optimizing my finances.

How was The Ways to Wealth born?

I didn’t have much of a plan for starting The Ways to Wealth when I purchased the domain name.

I was actually thinking it would be a niche site, which was inspired by Pat Flynn’s niche site duel. Then, I came across the income reports of Michelle Schroeder-Gardner and wisely changed direction to a more traditional blog.

This change came about 6-months after starting to blog.  I did a timeline of the site in one of my income reports.

What worked best when trying to grow the site?

I had a decent knowledge of SEO. So at first, I started growing the site with email outreach. One of the first posts I had about best investing books of all time, had about 15 links to it.

This was nice to start with but was quite slow to build up, as it can take a while to earn Google’s trust.

The big turning point came when I started to understand Pinterest. I spent a few frustrating weeks on the platform, then it finally started paying dividends.

I went from about 100 sessions a day to 1,000, which was huge for me at the time.

How did you get to 3 million monthly viewers on Pinterest?

the ways to wealth pinterest 3 million monthly views

I lay out my Pinterest strategy here. But at the core the idea is to:

1) Write high-quality content that Pinners want to click through, read, and share.

2) Pin to my own and high-quality group boards, with a keyword-rich description.

3) Continue to Pin my best pins across my own boards/group boards, ruthlessly eliminating Pins that don’t perform well.

One thing to keep in mind is impressions don’t mean much on Pinterest. What counts are clicks to your website. So, you want to design not for impressions but clicks.

What aspects of the online business are you outsourcing or automating and how?

The first thing I outsourced was Pinterest design. I’ll design about 30-40 pins a month, so this was big time saver for me.

Of course, it took some work to get going. At first, I hired 5 or so people on Fiverr. I found one decent designer but the work quality deteriorated over time.

I then went to Upwork and posted a job for a  graphic designer. I found a great team down in Argentina, who I’m very happy with.

I’m currently experimenting with working with a ghostwriter. A few of my latest posts have been transcribed from my recording, with the ghostwriter making sense of it all.

I can compile about 3 posts in 90 minutes, then take another 90 or so minutes to prepare them. Saving me around 3-4 hours per post this way.

What’s your main income stream and why do you think it works for you?

My main source of income for the blog is affiliate revenue. It works because the partners I do have are high-quality businesses, who deliver value and solve real problems. This makes it easy to naturally link to such a partner.

When did you start making more than $10K/month and what was the turning point?

My first month over $10K was in January of 2018. In December of 2017, income was around $3,000 and in July of 2017 around $500. So, it was definitely a jump.

What happened then in January?

First, personal finance is at its peak interest in January.

Second, I had multiple Pins go viral.

Third, in November I started driving traffic via Facebook to the site. So, in January I could take campaigns I’d been fine-tuning for a few weeks and scale them.

How do you balance work and family life?

I have a routine I stick to Monday through Friday.

When inside of my designated working hours, I work. When outside of these hours, I’m not.

This is a lot easier said than done. But the thing important for me is not to take work everywhere I go. This means I don’t have any apps on my phone that are work-related (email, analytics, etc..)

What are you 3 best finance tips for newbies?

  • Focus on your savings rate. How much you save is the most important decision you’ll make.
  • Small incremental improvements add up over time. My favorite example is increasing your savings rate 1% every quarter, means you’ll be saving 20% of your income in just 5 years.
  • Study happiness. Become a student on how to increase your level of happiness. The natural result is you’ll want less overtime, making the game of personal finance a lot easier to win.

What books, blogs or podcasts help you stay motivated along the way of growing an online business?

I read a fair amount to keep fresh ideas in my head.

My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show.

Two blogs I enjoy reading are:

Farnam Street
Barking up the Wrong Tree

And as far as books. I try to read one a week. A few books I would recommend to online entrepreneurs would be:

Deep Work by Cal Newport
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

Pin this post if you enjoyed the interview.

Check out my interview with R.J. from TheWaystoWealth to see how he entered the finance niche, started making money blogging, began bringing traffic from Pinterest and monetizing it with affiliate marketing, and is now making $10,000/month from his online business. #blogger #interview #blogtraffic #incomeideas #income