Welcome to episode 30 of the Free and Fearless podcast. This is Lidiya and I’m releasing this episode in the last day of 2021. I didn’t plan for it, but felt inspired to talk about one of my favorite topics – manifestation – and review some of my biggest lessons related to it and what progress I’ve seen, mainly in terms of mindset and reframing limiting beliefs.
Tune in below:
- How spending time with family during the holidays can be an opportunity for growth
- To take time off your business or not
- What does manifestation really mean
- How to use the ladder of believability to reframe your beliefs
- Examples of limiting beliefs around money that I changed in the last year
- The key part of manifestation most people skip
- What I’m doing in my business now vs a year ago
- How the Ego works
- What happened when I faced my biggest issues
- How leaving the How and When helps you attract what you want faster
- Why it might actually be a good sign when everything’s going wrong
- How your low standards are blocking your manifestations
- How the Universe tests you before giving you what you want
- My final advice for you this year
- The Blog Sponsorship Boss [course]
- How Hailey Noa Went from a Burned-Out Lawyer to an Aligned Soul Purpose & Business Coach
- How to Go from The ‘Hustle’ Phase to The ‘Alignment’ Phase [episode]
- Manifestation Babe
- Gala Darling
I’m looking at most things in life in a totally different way than I did a year ago. I’ve expanded my consciousness and trained my mind to believe new things that are aligned with my vision for the next stage of my life. In theory, this was hard. Once it became my new reality, I’m seeing the benefits and it feels so good.
Let me share a few quick updates too. Since the last episode, I launched my new course The Blog Sponsorship Boss which is all about making money from sponsored blog posts, finding and pitching brands, negotiating and getting paid every time. I’m now releasing one module per week, Module 3 is in the works now and will be released on Monday. This kept me productive during the holidays as I gave my word to the students who enrolled that a new module will be waiting for them every Monday.
So regardless of how I felt, the traveling, the time I spent around family back in my home country and what else happened unexpectedly, I showed up. I created the content, designed the presentations, recorded the lessons, edited what needed editing, added bonuses and little details to make sure each module serves students well. This is an example of how my business keeps me disciplined and teaches me a whole new level of responsibility and self-trust.
This time of the year can bring many unresolved issues, so here’s what I have to say about that.
You are not responsible for the programming you received as a child, but now, as an adult, you’re 100% responsible for fixing it.
As most people visit family (or spend more time with them) during Christmas, all the unresolved childhood issues of each generation come to the surface. That makes this period of the year powerful for self-reflection, practicing your willpower and seeing all the inner work you did in the last year in action.
Not dealing with the feelings isn’t a solution. The point is to deal with everything without reacting to others. To turn within, see what you’re projecting, where that trigger is coming from and what you can do about the real cause.
It also helps to look at others as little children. Our parents, grandparents, partners, etc. They all carry their pain and if they aren’t into personal development and spirituality, they probably don’t know a healthy way to transmute that negative energy into positive. They are carrying the burdens and traumas of previous generations in their cells, brain and soul, and that’s heavy.
So whatever we’re feeling towards them, compassion is the way to go.
To take time off your business or not?
A big topic for entrepreneurs is working on your business vs taking time off. I’m happy to see that this year, a lot of the advice is to take time off ONLY if you feel like.
Before that, it felt like a responsibility to leave the laptop for a week or at least a few days and be present with family. But that doesn’t work for me.
In fact, working on my business keeps me sane these days when I’m back in my home country and being exposed to all the things I consciously chose to leave. It’s my only reminder of the lifestyle I built for myself in another country where I’m the boss, and where every element is exactly how I want it, where everything is structured for growth and joy.
So what keeps me going these weeks is creating another module for my new course The Blog Sponsorship Boss every next week, showing up for my people on the blog and with a weekly newsletter, and creating my vision for 2022. When I’m with family, I’m present. But the rest of the day, my mind is where my passion goes (business, personal growth, and healing).
What’s coming up for you these weeks? What triggers you around family and during the holidays, and how are you dealing with it? Do you need to take time off your business, or do you truly want to?
I also sent the last newsletter for the year these days and felt emotional. Thanks to everyone who stuck around and opened my emails in 2021. It means so much. Sending you a newsletter every Tuesday with new content, updates in my biz, freebies, inspiration, announcing new products, etc, is yet another thing that kept me accountable and gave me joy no matter what else was happening with the world or in my life. Thank you for giving me access to your inbox and following my journey, I’ll keep showing up and providing value in the new year.
Now, let’s talk about manifestation:
What does it mean to manifest?
To manifest is to consciously create the reality of your dreams, first in your mind before you see any changes in the outer world. It’s related to the law of attraction as well as a few other universal laws, and you have to believe in energy and be open to the universe assisting you on your journey, to explore your deepest limiting beliefs, get them out to the surface and change them.
This process also involves detachment from anything holding you back, such as your Ego, distractions, your past, desires that don’t come from your heart, other people’s opinions, society’s expectations, what you’ve been taught as a kid, and so much more.
It’s a lot of work and that’s why most people never start. I’ve chosen this to be my normal though and it will continue forever. I will always dig deeper into my childhood traumas, what I’ve been made to believe for the wrong reasons, what I have in my life which doesn’t feel aligned and why it’s there, and so on.
Awareness is the first part of the process, though. Next comes the moment to be bold in the way you dream. That means to not just understand that we live in a limitless Universe, where all your desires already exist in the quantum field and can be yours, but to also believe it with 100% conviction. To the point where when you state it to other people in your life, they’d think you’re delusional because what you want is so big and so different from your current reality, that it doesn’t seem achievable.
The ladder of believability
There’s something called the ladder of believability in manifestation. It’s the process of slowly going from not believing you’re worthy of a better life and being afraid to want the best of the best, to getting to a state where you feel comfortable wanting a bit more than what you currently have. Then slowly going up the ladder until you reach the point where you now have no doubt what you want is coming your way, and you aren’t worried about when or how it will happen.
It’s already yours, it just hasn’t materialized in your current reality.
An example would be the fact that I was once afraid to believe I’d ever reach 6 figures in my business. I was literally sabotaging myself as I wasn’t selling products, launching with confidence, investing in better programs to learn the ins and outs of my business model, and I wasn’t treating my blog as a business or increasing my rates.
Now, things look different. I still make $50K a year but $100K is a sure thing. It could have happened this year. If not, it will be in 2022. If not, the year after that.
When working on reframing that belief, I explored all the possibilities of what could sabotage it.
I found out that I have a fear of getting more attention online, of the fact that other people in my life might find and treat me differently or that I’d just feel uncomfortable around them. More money meant more responsibility and even more problems for me once.
Now, I’m not afraid to have it.
Another big thing is that I thought it could only happen with more work. The hustle mentality was a huge part of my life and I gotta say – it helped me a lot because this discipline to keep going no matter what came with the hustle. You can check out one of the previous episodes of the show where I talk about my process of going from the hustle mentality to the stage of alignment.
I now know that working less and having fun and flow in my business is a real thing, and I can keep growing my business without struggling.
More money won’t make my life easier or harder, it’s just a byproduct of the abundance mindset I’m forming. Also, I won’t expect it to solve my problems.
Money solves only money problems. The point is that it will allow me to invest more in my business, donate, be a role model to others who don’t think they are worthy of that, and be even more grateful for my business.
It’s also part of my plan to create generational wealth, and this doesn’t even have anything to do with investing.
That was just an example of how I’ve went from not believing I can earn more, be a 6-figure business owner or handle the responsibility that comes with a bigger income, to forming a belief that it is happening and there’s no sign of that.
Another fun fact is that I know from so many other entrepreneurs in my circle that it doesn’t need to happen in a 12-month period (achieving my revenue goal I mean).
Any next launch I have can lead to having my first $10K month. Then I can replicate that process. This will lead me to a place of boosted confidence that will then allow me to make bolder moves. Such as releasing bigger and better programs, charging more, automating my sales funnel, using paid advertising and outsourcing. All this takes courage. Which brings me to the next point.
Taking inspired action
Another part of the manifestation process, which many people aren’t that excited about, is taking inspired action.
The right circumstances can come your way, you could reprogram your subconscious mind and reframe your limiting beliefs, but nothing will happen unless you take action in the right direction. And I mean action aligned with your purpose, doing what feels right but actually doing something.
You can’t get to 6 figures in business, for example, if you haven’t started your business yet or if you haven’t done anything differently. When I was only a blogger, I knew this wasn’t the way to exponential growth. It was a stepping stone, though.
Then, I entered the online course industry where much bigger things are happening. But still, I wasn’t actively selling, I didn’t have official launches or many products. I was still hiding.
Then, I decided 2021 is the year to finally get to the aspect of business I’ve been avoiding – sales and marketing. In the summer I invested in the best program ever and I even had to increase my credit card limit to be able to buy it. It was $3,000, which for many other people in business might be nothing, but it was my biggest purchase ever.
That itself got me out of my comfort zone and led to growth, especially in terms of developing the right money mindset.
The program is Business by Design by my mentor James Wedmore and I had no doubt this was the most important course I wanted to invest in and dive deeper into.
Since then, I’ve been creating better products, thinking bigger, selling actively and with confidence, planning and executing launches I’m proud of, doing a launch debrief after each and facing the numbers, whether good or bad.
Nothing can bring me down now, even if I have 100 failed launches. It’s a matter of time until I get to the right combination of elements. I mean to combine the right product, launch process, messaging, pricing, promotion method, timing, etc. There’s a lot involved.
But what matters is that I wasn’t even launching a year ago. When I was trying it, there was no actual process in place and I was feeling bad. My energy was just off and that can’t attract people in a program, especially not the right students.
Now, I feel empowered during a launch, even if no one will buy, even if I’m travelling to having personal problems during launch week. I show up with confidence, convinced that what I’m offering is a powerful program, and those who are meant for it will eventually find it and enroll.
So, back to my point – this is an example of taking inspired action. Investing in James Wedmore’s program, going thought it and implementing different strategies, doing multiple launches, analyzing them, learning from each and doing it again, creating more and better products, combining them in different ways to offer even more options to my audience.
Without this, nothing would change. My goal here is to not just get to 6 figures and teach powerful strategies inside my courses, but to also replace my blogging income with that from digital products and officially be a full-time course creator.
A change in a business model takes a lot of inspired action in a totally new direction.
In the next section, I’ll share with you a list of specific things about manifestation I learned that resonated with me and which I turned into my new and improved way of thinking.
1. Letting go of the how and when.
A year ago my need for control was limiting me and I was listening to my Ego way too much. The Ego is often seen as a negative part, but that’s not the right way to look at it as it will always be a part of us, and we shouldn’t be hating anything inside us. Not our deepest fears, not our biggest insecurities, and not out mistakes from the past.
The Ego exists to protect us, but sadly it usually does that by keeping us small, making us chase safety and keep doing what’s familiar. Starting a business or a new relationship is scary. Moving to another country is risky. Being vulnerable can mean someone will hurt us, and a new hobby might mean we won’t be good at it and will fail.
So the Ego doesn’t want any of this. However, no growth happens in the comfort zone. We always know there are bigger things out there and usually end up with regrets for never tasting it.
When listening to my Ego, I chose the easier way for many things, I had the wrong desires, those that made me feel comfortable. I was avoiding facing my weaknesses and dealing with some stuff, when I later realized these were the keys to my healing process, after which comes massive growth.
Facing these was the best thing I could do for my desired future. I became empowered during the painful process of uncovering trauma, forgiving what my Ego couldn’t forgive before, and seeing my biggest betrayers as my solution to the exact things inside me that I needed to bring to the surface and change, and to the most valuable lessons I have to learn in this life.
Now I cherish my issues, problems and challenges. I’m grateful for them as much as I’m grateful for the good stuff around me.
The Ego also wanted me to control everything, including other people. Which as you might guess, didn’t end good. When having a new goal, I was obsessed with the How. I needed to know when it will happen and exactly how. I needed to see logic, to follow a step by step process.
Leaving the How to the Universe
But when diving deeper into the theory behind manifestation, and in particular, after taking a great workshop last December by Kathrin Zenkina of Manifestation Babe, I learned one of the key principles in all this. I gotta leave the How and When to the Universe, my job is just to know the What and Why, and to take inspired action.
What that means is that I need to clearly define my deepest desires and declare them as mine, to also know why I want them and what they will bring to my life. To ensure they aren’t just Ego desires but what I want from my soul.
That I could do. The next step was harder, to say the least. I had to forget about the How, to keep my vision without seeing all the steps in my mind. To only focus on the next step and to take it, without having any proof it will take me in the right direction.
That requires trust, the ultimate trust in myself, in the Universe, and believing that everything is happening for my highest good. That was is meant for me will find me, and that by trying to control the How, I’m only interfering with the natural flow of things.
This took most of 2021 for me. Because changing beliefs in the conscious mind is one thing. But changing them on a subconscious level, which is where the real manifestation is happening, was a much longer process.
Here I am now, exactly where I need to be, with visible progress on all my goals, feeling supported by the Universe and knowing that all my desires are happening, and that I don’t need to control every part of this.
Once this became my ultimate truth, life got easier. I actually needed to do less than I did before.
Life without doubt is an easy life. It lets you sleep peacefully even when it looks like everything’s going wrong. That brings me to the next big manifestation lesson I learned.
2. There is chaos right before everything falls into place.
A year ago I heard something interesting. That things might seem really bad, right before you reach your goal. That’s because the Universe is literally rearranging your whole reality and it might mean removing something to make space for the better things.
It could be that someone broke up with you, you lost your job, missed out on an opportunity, a friend betrayed you, something didn’t happen because of the pandemic, or else.
When a few of these happen in a month or a few, it brings us down. We may lose hope in the process and feel like life is unfair, but that’s exactly the opposite of what we actually need to be doing.
This is when your belief needs to be even stronger and when you need to keep your vision in mind. Things are still happening in your favor, you just can’t see the How of it.
The thing you lost can be replaced with something so much better that you didn’t even know is what you wished for until you received it.
It could be that the big launch you were planning in your business and which was supposed to bring you $50K fails, only for you to change direction soon after and hit $300K in annual revenue in a way you could have never predicted.
That’s how the universe works, my friend, but if you lose hope and try to control everything, you sabotage it all.
Don’t get discouraged if things don’t look good right now. Soon you’ll be smiling about it and sharing with people the fun story of how one month was the worst in your life, and the next one you achieved 3 big goals at once.
Lesson #3. You don’t get your highest desires, you get your lowest standards.
This is something I heard from another one of my mentors, Gala Darling. She is yet another self-made millionaire, living her dream life, and who invested 10 years in healing, reframing limiting beliefs, personal development and failed business ideas before she got to where she is today.
What that lesson means is that it’s not enough to dream big and know what you want. You also need to get rid of your low standards.
A year ago I did set new bold goals, but I also settled down. In terms of relationships, that meant dating people who were the opposite of what I wanted and what I knew I deserve. It meant saying Yes to things that were out of alignment. Charging rates that felt like I was underpricing myself. Publishing content that wasn’t high quality. Explaining myself to people that didn’t actually play a role in my life and who were only keeping me stuck.
I changed all that in the last 12 months and will keep changing it. A hard realization to put into practice for me was this – it might mean like my vision is far away now and I will be waiting for it for a long time. So I might as well keep myself busy and say Yes to something that isn’t exactly my vision but which is good enough for now.
That was a mistake I was making and any time I settled down, I knew pretty well it wasn’t taking me in the right direction.
There are still things about this lesson I can’t fully grasp, mainly related to personal energetics. How lower standards attract more of that and with it, we’re basically telling the Universe this is good enough and we don’t need to receive something better.
But I trust this and saw crazy things changing in my reality, so I got a lot of proof this works.
The world is structured to make you think small. Just the other day in my home country I was talking to a relative, who is a really smart man, but with his own beliefs and perspective in life and which don’t resonate with me.
When we got to the part about the fact that I’m single and turning 30 soon, and I confidently said I have hope that I will find exactly what’s meant for me and it will all work out, he literally told me that this hope won’t get me anywhere and I’m living in a fairy tale.
Years ago, that would have bothered me. Now, not. I understand that his beliefs don’t need to be the same as mine. I’m showing compassion as it only shows he is disappointed in some things, and I still have the privilege of being happy without proof that something will happen and to chase bigger goals with a focused mind.
I also feel compassion for anyone who is negative as the moment they criticize me is the moment they show me what triggers them and what didn’t work out ideally for them.
I’ve been told this, and many other things, a million times in my life. By almost anyone. Which is the next lesson I learned.
#4. The Universe will keep testing you until you get what you want.
When you start trusting the process, go with the flow, define your vision and take inspired action, keep this in mind: you will be tested and the choices you make will decide how soon you’ll be living your dream life.
An example that immediately comes to mind is that you’ll be tempted to get back with your ex or just keep meeting. Especially if there’s nothing else that keeps you busy, if you feel lonely, you just need some attention and intimacy. The easiest choice in this situation is to go back to what was and relive it.
But this keeps you stuck in a vicious circle. You’re not staying true to yourself, you go back to the past, you’re getting more attached to something that isn’t meant for you, you’re busy with that and so you literally miss out on the chance of meeting someone new. And you’re telling the Universe that you’re good for now so you don’t need the ideal partner that you envisioned.
That’s how most people operate.
The same goes for saying Yes to a job that isn’t what feels right, just because it’s what’s expected from you. I have a few examples about this.
2 good ones are 2 amazing women I met through that workshop on manifestation I mentioned and who gave me many reasons for smiles in 2021 and a lot of support.
One recently ended the contract she had with a company she was freelancing for and which was the reason she was earning 6 figures per year, with a bit of that coming from her coaching business.
She’s been meaning to quit the job, even though she was still practically self-employed, to invest all her energy to her business. She dived into the unknown, said No to financial security, and took a risk that 99% of people don’t.
As it’s a coaching business and the income is rarely regular there month after month, she had months with $0. She kept her head up and continued releasing new programs and showing up online, being in integrity and trusting the process.
The other girl, who is at her day job while building her coaching business on the side for 1 year now, said No to a tempting promotion at work and which had a significant salary boost. She did that because she wanted to invest the extra time and attention to her business, trusting that it will soon become a full-time income stream and help her quit her job.
I also have examples of people in my life who made different choices, and who knew pretty well it was against their deepest desires.
These are the ways in which the Universe tests if you’re actually ready to reach a next level in life, if you truly want it, if you are ready for it now.
The moments you say No to something that looks so easy and secure or to something that looks like a quick win and makes sense, is the moment you reject logic, look crazy in the eyes of others, and choose to trust something non-tangible.
This is also how successful people defy all logic and achieve something quickly, and others start asking them how it happened.
Words of encouragement
I can talk so much more about manifestation and give so many other examples from my life and from what I see around, but this episode is pretty long already, so let’s leave it like this.
More about what I did in 2021 will be shared in other episodes. You’ll hear my numbers cause as you know, my life and business are one big experiment and I openly share the results so you can learn from me and see what’s possible.
My final words to you this year are that you gotta stop resisting what’s meant for you and start receiving it. There’s no logic in what we’re doing here. We’re talking about constant personal and spiritual growth, where achieving more doesn’t happen in a linear process and you will only know the How once you get there.
All the bestselling books you read, the life transformations you hear about and the business strategies you learn come from a person who just did things that were never done before.
They probably failed more times than they can count, but eventually found out what works for them, created a process around it so it can be replicated, and started teaching other people how to do the same.
Your journey won’t look like mine or theirs, and that’s totally fine. But from every mentor or book or podcast episode that resonates with you, you get to take one little thing that can turn into a stepping stone to building the life you’re meant to live.
If you stay in the game long enough, one day you’ll be the reason why some people overcome obstacles and keep going, because your life will serve as an example it’s all possible.
2021 was the best year in my life. 2022 will be an even better one. I welcome all lessons, challenges and mistakes, as each is exactly what I will need at that moment, and I don’t need to know that yet.
Have an amazing last day of this year, and step into January empowered as fuck.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode, especially if you stayed till the end. Get in touch with me on Instagram @letsreachsuccess and let me know what you think and what resonated with you. Also, share this episode with anyone you think it can help somehow.
I’ll see you in the new year.