Whenever faced with adversity, friends and family will often tell us to simply “get back on the horse” and carry on.
While this can be supportive, sometimes we need a bit more help regarding how exactly to build up our confidence and be the best version of ourselves.
Successful people probably look like they’ve never had a crisis of confidence at all, but they’ve definitely been through struggles, just like everyone else.
Building up your confidence to the point where little setbacks don’t bother you anymore can take a while. But with the following steps, we’ll provide, you’ll definitely get there and when you do, there will be no stopping you from succeeding and following your passions.
1. Create a to-do list and always tick things off
It’s fair to say that the more we accomplish, the more confident we feel.
When we complete whatever task we set out to do – whether big or small – we get the sense that things are in motion and we’re not stuck in a rut.
By writing down lists in your diary or using apps like Evernote on your smartphone, you can keep track of daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals.
Everything from improving your body shape to sending a few job applications to thinking up some app ideas are all goals when all’s said and done.
Regardless of how long they take, give yourself a number and time limit to reach, and then tick it off!
2. Monitor everything you do
Sometimes, we need to look to the past to prepare for the future. You need to keep track of your achievements and monitor your progress.
Similar to writing down your goals and targets, remember to write down your accomplishments.
Gained a few pounds of muscle? Write it down. Managed to get an appointment with a potential investor? Write it down.
Seeing all the little things you’ve done along the way, even if it doesn’t result in a huge payoff, will still help you to build confidence and keep you on track.
Having a goal like “Become a winner” is a nice target but perhaps too broad for some. You need to remind yourself of all the steps you’re taking along the path to success.
3. Wake up earlier
Start the day off by getting enough sleep and waking up feeling energized. This will help you get up and go for a morning run or stretch.
Instead of sleeping late and waking up even later, opt to create a nightly ritual and sleeping schedule. This will help revitalize yourself and make you ready for your day. It also lessens cravings and has you move more burning calories.
4. Start off small
Don’t quit your favorite food cold turkey or immediately start a difficult exercise regime.
Instead, go for the tiny changes throughout the day. Such as replacing one meal for a nice salad, or taking a ten-minute walk and working your way up from there. Slow and steady wins the race, and you’ll feel better as you advance.
5. Eat with more color
Have more fruits and vegetables on your plate as opposed to an all-brown diet with junk food and processed sugar. Instead of the usual chips and salsa, choose carrots and celery sticks as a snack.
Or, start cooking yourself instead of ordering out. Not only does this save money you can use for something else, but you’re assured of better things on your plate.
Plus, with the right types of food and an adequate diet, you will feel happier and more confident. Find practical meal plans filled with greens but without it restricting you.
6. Learn to accept yourself
You aren’t able to move forward if you do not start to love your body and the things it can do. Know that you WILL achieve your goals and be able to keep at it as long as you have the confidence and pride with your capabilities.
Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t let that stop you from pushing yourself to the limits.
The more positive you are, the more you can push forward and achieve great things. While getting a beautiful body is one thing, gaining the confidence and pride in yourself is another. And we want to focus more on the latter because that’s what helps us achieve things farther than the gym.
7. Keep moving
Other than the obvious health benefits of exercising, keeping your body moving helps improve focus and can lessen stress and even depression.
According to research, endorphins are released during exercise and help to enhance happiness. When we sit around and think too much, this only serves to increase anxiety and decrease confidence.
Keep your body and mind active and release all the pent up energy! Whether it’s the gym, yoga, or even some team sports like soccer or basketball, we are “in the zone” when exercising and we’ll stay this way long afterward.
Read also: 5 Confidence Techniques Using Your Subconscious Mind You Should Try Today
8. Look the part
Confidence does come from the inside, but there’s just as much validity to how we look and how we present ourselves to others.
Having a good posture is really important for confidence, but self-assurance can also become sky-high when we receive compliments on our appearance and even admiring glances from passers-by on the street.
Feeling good about ourselves often comes down to how we dress and our grooming techniques. Dressing up goes a long way when you meet someone, especially for the first time.
Job interviews, dates, or even having dinner with your in-laws will all run more smoothly when you look your absolute best.
Suits, a recent haircut, or even wearing a luxury watch show that you take pride in your appearance and thus, in turn, have the confidence to be seen.
Of course, there’s a fine line between looking arrogant and confident, but this can sometimes come down to the brands you wear.
Regarding watches, Rolex is considered a bit pretentious by some, as it might display one’s wealth rather than style. Conversely, Seiko watches are more modest but still look deluxe and refined.
9. Don’t let fear hold you back
Throughout life, it’s rarely failure itself that scares us, but the fear of failing.
Having such big expectations and not meeting them can be troubling, but so too is the unknown. In a way, it’s better to take risks and perhaps even fail, than to not try at all and live with regret.
Every entrepreneur out there will have had some level of failure, but they keep going and always try new things in order to find out what’s on the other side of the door.
Being 100% fearless is difficult to achieve, but not attempting anything daring because of the fear of what might happen is not a healthy way to live.
Read also: How to Build Self-Confidence with The Mirror Technique
10. Don’t be so hard on yourself
Okay, so you might have done or said something stupid and you now regret it… join the club.
Dwelling on mistakes and calling yourself an idiot will only crush your confidence in the future. Accepting that you messed up and striving not to make a similar blunder is the way forward and helps keep your confidence strong.
Furthermore, stop caring so much about what other people are thinking, as it’ll only make you paranoid and anxious. And, more than anything, don’t compare yourself to anyone else!
Avoid social media if you find yourself being jealous of your friends’ successes.
11. Talk it out
Although many men and women are a bit wary of the “therapy” word, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps to explore issues in your past and current situation that might be holding back your confidence.
CBT doesn’t have to be forever, either, as you might feel better after talking to a trained therapist for just a few months. There shouldn’t be a stigma about attending therapy, as it’s helped millions of people and will continue to do so.
More Tricks to Look and Sound More Confident
The thing about confidence is that it works two ways.
On the one hand, exude confidence and your clients and colleagues will have confidence in you – self-belief is very reassuring to others!
In fact, for better or worse, the mere appearance of confidence can be more likely to get you a promotion than your actual ability! When you think of some of the dubious phonies who’ve leapfrogged you in the past, it kinda makes sense, right?
And on the other hand, confidence builds confidence within yourself. When you adopt the look and the sound of the self-assured, you begin to feel bolder on the inside. You take risks and put yourself forward for opportunities you might otherwise not have. You begin to work with clear, bold strokes rather than inching ahead in half-measures.
Great – so how to create that feeling? Well, in the long-term, you can use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to deal with the underlying causes of your indecisiveness and lack of confidence. But in the short run, getting the aforementioned look and sound of self-belief is a fairly simple matter of adjusting the way you speak, listen, and move.
If you’re particularly shy, try starting with your hands.
Keep them out of your pockets.
Burying your hands in your pockets instantly gives the (possibly correct) impression that you are nervous or uncertain.
And even the (hopefully incorrect) impression that you are dishonest or lazy. Keeping your palms open and faced upwards is a way of opening up to those around you and exuding trust.
Likewise, a firm handshake of around two-five seconds communicates warmth and self-assuredness. A limp handshake, on the other hand, might create the impression that you feel out of your depth. And an over-strong handshake always feels like the giver is trying to prove something!
The next steps are to work on your eye contact and the way that you intone your sentences.
This can be a bit much to think about when you’re struggling with what you actually want to say. Which is why it’s best to start with the other stuff first.
But take it one stage at a time and you can gradually build a confident manner that will start to perpetuate itself by making you feel strong on the inside.
Those are just some tips to help you build up your confidence, and there’s no time like the present, so start now!
Don’t put anything off until tomorrow or next week, because the sooner you start feeling better about yourself, the sooner you’ll start to see the fruits of your labor and be happy and content.